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Multiples
Daycare Drama - Thoughts?
Warning - long post...
My current situation seemed wonderful at first but now I think that I need to take action... what action, I'm not sure but I am just not happy with how things are going in my boys' infant room at their current center.
The daycare center is in my office building in downtown and only open to employees of my company, however, it is an extension of a national group. Everyone is so nice and is pleasant to work with in all of the classes. I can come see them any time of day so I get that balance of working while still getting to see my boys whenever I choose. The center is clean, the nutrition/menu (once they get to eating more than purees) is amazing, the administration partners with the parents and has scheduled parent monthly meetings to discuss any concerns.
Here is my dilemma... this shouldn't impact the level of care or 'love' a child receives but I just know that if I complain or have to talk to administration about some of my frustrations with my boys' new teacher then they will be at the bottom of the list for everything. The teacher will obviously follow state requirements but all the extras will probably go out the window if I have to 'complain'. My mind is just full of the thoughts - if all the babies are crying, they will get to my boys last, if all the babies are scheduled to eat at 9am, my boys' schedule will be the least important. I think it is just human nature... if I get one or all of the teachers in their infant room in trouble or they have to have a meeting with the administration, then I'm going to be 'THAT parent'.
The care that my boys' are receiving is good in regards to them being loved on and meeting their basic needs. The center recently expanded due to a mini-baby boom at my company and now has 2 infant rooms. My boys' moved to the new infant room with a new teacher that just can't tell them apart (it has been ~ 2 months now) and they are clearly fraternal, yes they look like brothers but do have distinct differences that I have pointed out repeatedly (in a nice way) to help their teachers. Half the times I'm down there they are feeding them the wrong bottle (not just name but contents are different due to one having reflux) and lotions are being put on the wrong baby (one has severe eczema). So I just can't imagine how often those types of things are happening when I'm not there. To top it all off, I'm paying what feels like a TON of money for them to learn things and follow a formal curriculum that I couldn't even think of let alone have time to do with them on my own. I just don't think they are doing anything that special with the boys' anymore compared to their first teacher in the other infant room.
Ultimately, I know I need to do what is best for my boys' and our family at the same time I'd love to hear some advice and/or thoughts on how to deal with this... maybe my expectations are too high? Or maybe I've let it go too long and these types of issues are worse than I'm even thinking? No idea...
Also, if they aren't learning anything or following a set curriculum, maybe I should just get a nanny for the same amount of money (if not less) and drive the ~2.5 miles home around lunchtime to see them if I really have the urge to see them during my work day.
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Re: Daycare Drama - Thoughts?
Why do you think the level of care would drop if you express concerns? If that's happened before with other people then I would find new care ASAP. If it hasn't and you're just worried about that, well, you'll have to move past that because no matter who cares for your child you'll have this concern.
I would definitely bring up the fact that not being able to tell the kids apart is a big medical concern. Work with the director and the teacher and come up with alternate suggestions since the physical differences isn't sinking in. I would first ask if they could move back to the other infant room where the teacher could tell them apart and mention that one baby not getting his meds and another baby getting meds that he doesn't need is a HUGE problem (one that I would guess could cause them to be written up if you complained). Maybe you can always put one baby in a certain color or put a name tag on their backs, or something if they can't move the babies.
As far as a curriculum goes, at 6 months I wouldn't worry about that personally. And if you think a nanny would make you more comfortable then it can't hurt to look into that. We went with a licensed in-home daycare because it's half the price of a center and I love that they're around kids younger and older and feel like it's really helped their development. A lot of it is personal preference and where your priorities are. We chose a more homey feel versus a structured daycare with a very set curriculum.
I'm a teacher and I would never treat a child differently if their parent complained. In some cases I've been extra cautious with a student when I know their parent is on my case.
Although your boys' teacher clearly hasn't made an effort or just has issues remembering names/faces, I'm going to give her the benefit of the doubt and assume she is a good person who would never take out her issues with you on your babies. Also, if you changed centers or got a nanny, at some point there would probably be a minor issue you'd have to address with them as well. You should definitely say something, especially if you really like the center.
I agree with PP, you could come up with a system to help her remember or else request that your boys move to the other room. Good luck!
Having been a day care teacher many years ago, the issues with giving the wrong child the meds/lotions is a very big deal. It definitely needs to be discussed with the director and teacher so you know everyone is on the same page. There has to be a solution somewhere or I would consider other options.
My girls are fraternal and don't really look alike, yet church nursery volunteers still get them confused even when they aren't in matching outfits. I had to color-code their bottles when they were infants because one had severe reflux, so it was a different formula/cereal added, as well. If not, it always got messed up when they were at nursery, with my parents, or a babysitters.
Grace always had a Green bottle; it was easiest to help the volunteers and my scatter-brained parents remember "G gets the Green bottle with her name on it", and J always got pink, which also had her name on it.
In nursery, they also wore name stickers on their backs and I also clearly marked on the sign in sheet that "Grace = green bottle", etc. It probably seemed OCD-obnoxious to some, but I never had anymore issues with J's reflux-barfing and screaming when we picked them up.
We still use the green cups for Grace because she will drink all of hers and go steal her sister's cup so J will go without, if we don't pay attention to what color Grace is using, lol...
Does your daycare have any special Allergy Warning name tags? Maybe you could get one for the eczema and reflux, or maybe have your own.
Good luck!
Thanks ladies! I just felt like I was making everything a big deal but hopefully I won't be seen as some crazy, complaining, monster mom. Obviously, I don't want to deal with it from a confrontation standpoint but at the same time it needs to be dealt with pretty quickly.
We've done the name tag thing but they stopped doing it probably because they didn't want me to know they don't have it figured out yet, they have different color bottle labels (large silicon bands 1 green / 1 blue) and we don't dress them alike. I feel like I've done so much to help!
I mean... it just feels like they are rolling through a checklist rather than looking at the babies as inidividuals... like oh yeah, this guy has red bumpy rashes covering 1/4 of his body and face - he needs the special lotion, rather than his brother with buttery smooth skin with not a dot of irritation... or wow, we keep feeding this kid and he brings the entire bottle back up and then cries for more food so we keep calling his mom saying he needs more food when she can barely pump enough for him, hmm... maybe he should have gotten the one full of oatmeal cereal that we have to constantly shake rather than his brother that rarely spits up.
I work in a nationally known child care and we do alot of employer sponsored child care so I'm wondering if it's the same company! I am an Asst. Director and will say that it is a common concern of parents that if they complain their children will get treated differently. I can vouch that absolutely does not happen. Most of the time we just want to hear what it is we can do differently that would make you more comfortable. If it is my company that you are at, there are strict rules with feeding infants, medications for eczema, etc... to ensure it is being given to the correct child. I would definitely speak with the director about this as she may not be aware that the teachers are doing this and this is something that for the health and safety of all the children should be addressed. If you find the director not receptive, please call the regional manager and voice your concerns.
Good luck!!!
When my older DD was an infant a daycare teacher gave her the wrong bottle. (Breastmilk from another child). She noticed it right away, they said she MAYBE took one suck off it. She reported the issue, they called me, the teacher was FIRED. Mind you = I did not want the teacher fired, that was their rules.
Just because they are brothers, it should not be ignored if they are fed the wrong bottle. I would demand a better process for check/double checking.
Videos of telling my family and husbands family that we are preggo...with twins!
TTC since May 2006. After 3 failed Clomid cycles, 2 failed Injectibles/IUIs, 2 failed IVFs and 1 failed FET, we moved on to adoption!
Last ditch FET resulted in BFP, and identical twin girls!
I like these suggestions. I also gave my daycare providers a sheet listing ways to tell them apart. Mine are much more difficult because they are identical and the differences are subtle. I go so far as painting their toes a different color as the ultimate back up idenifier. Unfortunately the paint I use is nailpolish made for younger kids and it come off pretty fast.
TTC since May 2006. After 3 failed Clomid cycles, 2 failed Injectibles/IUIs, 2 failed IVFs and 1 failed FET, we moved on to adoption!
Last ditch FET resulted in BFP, and identical twin girls!
GSx1 - 05/13/2013
GSx2 for T&B - EDD 6/21/2015 - They're having a GIRL!
I agree with all of the above posts, but as a professional in the Early Childhood Education field - I just wanted to touch on your concerns for curriculum. This seems to be a common concern of parents no matter what age. Do you know what curriculum they follow? Have you had an in-depth convo with the director about what it should look like, what you're looking for, etc? I know at 6 months most curriculums are based on play that requires they child to cross midline (one hand to the other) to work both sides of the brain, developing muscles and eye coordination. All done through play, so while it looks like there probably isn't much of a curriculum, there really is. Also, socialization is HUGE at that age as far as what most curriculums include - so just being able to coo back, or turn their head to look at somebody talking is huge. There are things these professionals are trained to look for/help develop that might not look like such a big deal to parents from the outside.
Good luck - and I as I said, I agree with others - raise your concerns!! It will not make your children singled out - it will help them understand what they need to improve on! You are being an advocate for your children - there is absolutely nothing wrong for that!