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Tell me I'm not alone...

tortuga47tortuga47 member
in Babies on the Brain
We know we want baby #2, but I find myself staring at my son with those doubts of will I love the second the same, will I miss alone time with him? I KNOW I'll love baby #2 and I know my time may be limited but will be great with DS #1. For all you mommies (or daddies) out there with more than one baby, how did you deal with this inner struggle? Or, didn't you have it? When did you know you were ready to try again? TIA
Sept 2013 started TTC#2 (never got PP period so hoping for the first egg to drop)
Jan 2014 - diagnosed POF (Premature Ovarian Failure) and told pregnancy not possible without egg donor because my ovaries would never function again with my hormone levels (FSH 136, LH 98.6, AMH <.03, estradiol 0, HCG 7) - using acupuncture, chiropractic care and TCM herbs / supplements
March 11, 2014 ovulated despite every doctors prognosis!!!
Oct 2014 hormones (FSH 48, Estradiol 89, HCG 1) not good, but heckuva lot better!

Nov. 16, 2015 FET of single adopted 5AA embryo - BFN
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Read all about my TCC Journey here in my Blog Taking Back My Ovaries
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Re: Tell me I'm not alone...

  • capinjen152capinjen152 member
    I don't think you end up loving them "the same". Each is an individual with his own needs, personality, etc which require different types of affection.

    I've heard it said that your love doesn't divide to accommodate a new child, it expands. It wasn't a struggle for me, though. I knew I wanted another one to love for me, for my husband, and for my firstborn.
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  • oneblessedmessoneblessedmess member

    Not a mommy yet, but I just wanted to point out that even if baby #2 comes along, that doesn't mean you have to completely give up alone time with DS1! When you're ready to leave baby #2 home alone with daddy or grandma or whoever, you can definitely have fun mommy-son dates with your oldest. And vice versa, daddy can plan for days to just hang out with DS while you're chilling with baby. It's actually a great way to bond, because he'll KNOW that you're specifically taking the time to be with just him, as opposed to when he's the only kid around, you don't really have a choice but to hang out with just him LOL.

    As far as loving baby #2 the same, your relationship with him may be different, not better or worse but different, but I know you will still love him just as much. These are valid concerns to have, but I think you can do it! ^_^

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  • morrison4319morrison4319 member
    You are not alone. I felt the same way when I was pregnant with DS. I often wondered how he would ever be able to compare to his older sister and how my heart could possibly love another one as much as I loved her. I like the PP about your love doesn't divide, it grows. They are now 2 and 3 and I couldn't imagine my life without either one and love them both with all of my heart. I think it's a very normal feeling to have.
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