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August 2013 Moms
pb&jojo
member
MIL DTap
pb&jojo
member
I sent my MIL an email last week about the importance of her and my FIL getting the DTap Vaccine. I explained what it was and why it was needed. The hospital I am delivering at offers the shot to family members when they visit for $10.00. This is their first grandchild, so they don't know a lot about what people need/are doing now a days. She is always comparing my pregnancy to hers 30 years ago. So figures, I get an email back...She said she called our family doctor and the doctor has never heard of "this vaccine". She also called Walgreens and CVS and they had never heard of it.
I don't know what she wants me to say. I told her I am very concerned that our family doctor has never heard of it, and that I would call her. I also explained that my OB spoke to me about the importance of family members getting the shot. My friend who just delivered at our hospital last week told me her whole family got the vaccine when they were there...How can she still question this? I have a feeling they are not going to get it...if they don't I'm not sure where I will go from here...They could just say they got it even though they didn't...nothing I can do about that. But if they tell me they aren't going to get it, I want to be firm and stand my ground, but I don't want to cause a huge problem...WWYD???
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Re: MIL DTap
I would first realize that you cannot make anyone get a vaccine. You can only control who is around LO. If you feel adamant about it I would talk to DH (to make sure he is on the same page) and then say something like "I completely understand if you are not comfortable with the vaccine, however due to a lot of research on this subject and my own personal feelings, we will need to limit access to LO for those who choose not to get the vaccine until XYZ time"
Here is an article from the CDC on it:
https://www.cdc.gov/vaccines/adults/rec-vac/pregnant/whooping-cough/protection.html
Perhaps mention that the vaccine also has tetanus in it and they may be due for that booster anyway? I emailed my MIL before DS was born and said "it is completely your right whether or not to get it but I feel very strongly about this and hope you will consider it"
Perhaps send her some info on it? A link that explains it and the importance?
Maybe that's the confusion?
Your MIL is a liar. Either that or she did not understand the information you gave her and asked her doctor/pharmacy in such a garbled way that they didn't understand what she was asking for. Because there is a 0% chance that they have not heard of the vaccine.
Giving her the benefit of the doubt, I would email her a short article about the benefits of the vaccine (and maybe a scary one about whooping cough outbreaks) and ask her to print it out and bring it with her to the doctor. That way, the doctor will know what she's asking for and she can get her shot. If it's just a matter of misunderstanding, this will fix the problem.
If, on the other hand, she is actively resisting, I would put my foot down and restrict access to the baby. I have known kids with whooping cough and it is no joke. I know you don't want to cause problems, but I would rather make an adult angry than let my infant be exposed to pertussis.
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Actually I have heard it called both names by different doctors.
I am not making our family get the vaccine (besides H and I). I can't make them get it if they don't want it.
I also find it unfair to tell them they can't see the baby unless they get the vaccine.
All you can do is send her information on the vaccine and let them make the decision.
DTaP is the one for babies, while Tdap is the one for older kids and adults. If she really asked the doctor/pharmacy, they should be able to figure that one out.
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Yes, both are correct.
BFP #1 mm/c at 12w1d
My DH got his shot yesterday at Walgreens and he said his shot was covered 100 percent by his insurance, we have separate insurance. So, if a Cobra plan can cover the shot, I can't imagine many others not doing so either. Some people just don't see the need in getting any vaccines, or feel uncomfortable doing so, so all I can do is have the info to back up my request, and deny/limit time with LO if they don't choose to get one.
As for your MIL saying that Walgreens or CVS didn't know about that shot is ridiculous!! She may have asked about it incorrectly or spoke to just a salesperson or cashier. The clinic people would definitely know about it. Even if you just generically ask for the whooping cough vaccine.
Thanks for the feedback. I did provide her with CDC information and also the information from my OB.
I am not trying to force her or make her get the vaccine. In the email I just said that it is important to us for them to get this, since they will be around the baby a lot. I am by no means saying, you have to get this or else!!!!
In the end, it is their decision, and I don't want to cause any problems by making a stink if they don't...but at the same time, I am worried because there are health risks to our baby if they choose not to. The last thing I want to do is keep them away from our family...I will just wait and see what she says back before i get my panties all in a bunch...just feeling defensive lately I guess.
DTap is for children, TDap is for adults
Technically, from my research on it for DH, DTap is the initial vaccine and TDap is the booster. What you would be asking them to get is the TDap, however a PCP, and both Walgreens and CVS should know both (I know for a fact CVS offers both since DH will be getting his there).
That said, I agree with PPs, you can't force them to get the vaccine. Will they be around LO regularly? If so I'd definitely send her some information and let her know how strongly you feel about it and that it could limit their time with LO, but I would also make sure DH is on the same page as you. The only people who I am adamant about getting it are DH and our nanny, when we find one.
Ok the only thing I can think of to explain the doctor/drugstores not knowing about it, other than her possibly lying, is that it's called the Tdap not Dtap.
As for them refusing, I had issues with my mom arguing with me about the need for it. This isn't her first grandchild, but my youngest niece is 15 so it's been awhile for her. She kept saying "well, I never had to do that with the other 12". It was driving me crazy. I finally sat her down and told her, "listen if you want to spend any significant amount of time with your granddaughter, then get the shot. Otherwise, you can come for the birth and leave." She got the shot.
Some people on TB are more relaxed about the whole issue. For me, I'm taking it very seriously. I think if you are really concerned about it and it's that important to you then stand your ground. If you're willing to suck it up just to keep the peace then do so. It really depends on how strongly you feel about it.This. In the past I would have said it was ridiculous but when DS was 5 months old, he caught RSV from relatives that never mentioned they were sick as they kissed and loved on my baby. RSV is no where near as bad as Whooping cough and yet my son ended up in the ER for 10 hours. I will never forget the panic that I felt in the middle of the night when I checked on my son and he was struggling to breathe and was turning purple and we had to rush him to the hospital.
I think she is lying that her doctor and pharmacies have never heard of the vaccine. Most of of us on this board likely had it as babies, as did your MILs kids. MY husband is almost 30 and my mil pulled his vaccination paperwork recently and the Tdap was on there he received it at a few weeks old....its not a new vaccine.
That being said you can't force someone into getting a vaccine.
This is what I was thinking.
In the end, your child is your child and you get to make the decisions who they are around and I hope everyone would respect your wishes. Maybe get a handout from your doctor or send articles relating to whooping cough and the importance of DTap. Maybe that will help with informing your inlaws. In my experience all inlaws think that you overreact! But don't back down. It's very important, especially if they will be around or taking care of the baby often.
Well you can't force anyone to do anything, but I understand where you are coming from.
I got mine and my husband will be getting his. My MIL will be watching the baby when I go back to work. I sent her a message saying that the doctor recommended that any person who will be around the baby a lot, such as a care giver, should get the shot. I told her that the Walgreens in our area offers them and we would even pay for it. I told her it was up to her to get it, but I would prefer that she did. I got a reply back saying that if this was for anyone besides the baby I wouldn't do it becasue I hate needles. Well guess what...I hate needles and I have been getting pricked every month since I got pregnant. I'm just glad she can respect our wishes.
i did call it DTap, but I also called it the Pertussis Vaccine. I sent information from the CDC as well. I could have added some confusion. I called Walgreens. They said some locations doe give the vaccine and some don't, but the woman the person I spoke to on the phone did know what it was.
I think MIL probably garbled the info with her family doctor and walgreens/CVS.
Maybe this is passive aggressive, but I would send her a news story about a newborn who died from whooping cough so she gets that this is not just new mom paranoia.
(Although FWIW, I'm not making everyone in our extended family get it. If she refuses I would just count on some mild shaming from medical staff at the hospital. Hopefully there's a big poster at the postpartum visitors sign in urging people to get the vaccine...)
This. But at the same time you can't "make" someone get it, unfortunately.
You can not make someone get it, but you can control who is around your baby. Have you spoken to your husband about this (since this is his mother)?
Also, I would ask her which CVS, Walgreens she spoke to, call them up yourself and see what they say. I would also contact the family doctor myself and see what he says.
I am personally taking this very seriously, and making sure everyone that will see the baby within the first 2 months has the vaccination.
You posted this as I was typing my reply. Good!
You can't make them get the shot and I wouldn't go as far as saying if you don't you can't see my baby.
I don't think my MIL or FIL got it and they are Lucas' day care.
I hate how inconsiderate people are when it comes to being sick around babies. Im so sorry this happened to you.
I asked the immediate family to get the vaccine, it and haven't gotten any problems from them so far.
This summer my FIL had MRSA and didnt tell us, we were planning a boating trip when SIL told us and we canceled immediately. He apparently thought it was no big deal to be around a pregnant woman and small children with his condition.
This. Our CVS can order it in for people that need to get it.
eta: Target Pharmacy also has it, because that is where DH is going to get it.
I agree with this. Go ahead and suggest it but then its their choice whether or not they get it. If they don't get it and you don't want them around LO then that is your choice.
I was thinking the same thing lol
Also, just an FYI - a few people in my family told me that they don't need the vaccine because they've already had whopping cough. Not valid according to the CDC - even people who have had whooping cough can carry it and can get it again.
DTaP is for children under the age of 7 and TDaP is for anyone older and is a booster shot. That's what Web MB told me. :
This.