Does DH/SO send you articles? — The Bump
Special Needs

Does DH/SO send you articles?

I know it is going to be almost a year since we got a diagnosis of PDD-NOS from a psychologist. I remember coming home with DS and telling DH the news. DH was in denial, did not accept the label and blamed me. Despite that, we continued to get DS all his therapies label or not.

DH sends science articles to me from time to time on occasion. But I want to say why are you sending me this article? He has already sent me 2 articles regarding autism. Is this a sign closer to acceptance or just a coincidence?

I don't know. I am scared to even ask.

TIA

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Re: Does DH/SO send you articles?

  • I'd be beyond thrilled if DH did this. My DH finally beyond the denial stage, but he is being very lazy about the whole thing. He is now in the "woe is us" phase and expects the school district and our private therapists to "fix" DS. I'm kindof on my own figuring out therapies and techniques. So if your DH is sending you articles, I'd assume he's at least reading them, no? Baby steps!
  • I will take it if it is close to acceptance!

    DH has stopped saying why stupid people have normal children and smart people have not normal children. It was annoying to no end. At least here he stopped blaming me.

    He was on board when I told him we are going to get another evaluation done in 6-8 months with the University hospital for a more formal eval and for insurance purposes. That and we might have our trip paid for since it is 3 hours away.

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  • DH never had any problem accepting it. He did initially trust the pedi who told us nothing was wrong, but as soon as everyone else EI/developemental pedi stopped saying "no." And started saying "maybe" he was on board with me.

    It's annoying for me because this has been gut wrenching horrible, worst thing to happen to me deal and he simply says "she's my daughter no matter what. I love her, nothing changed." I don't feel that way at all. I love her of course, but yes things changed. Sometimes I think it's easier for him because he has no real idea exactly how different she is, and how different our life is from parents who have typical kids. He goes to work, comes home and plays with her/does therapy and spends very little time comparing. I on the other hand pretty much gave up my career and have become isolated from the mommy groups we used to belong to and have watched as they move on together taking trips to the amusement parks and zoos where as I cannot even manage a trip to the grocery or McDonald's alone now.
  • imageRdmaggie:
    It's annoying for me because this has been gut wrenching horrible, worst thing to happen to me deal and he simply says "she's my daughter no matter what. I love her, nothing changed." I don't feel that way at all. I love her of course, but yes things changed. Sometimes I think it's easier for him because he has no real idea exactly how different she is, and how different our life is from parents who have typical kids. He goes to work, comes home and plays with her/does therapy and spends very little time comparing. I on the other hand pretty much gave up my career......

    You are not alone in this. At all. I have this exact same problem and resentment.

    I think I would fall over if DH took the initiative regarding Nate. He does read stuff I find. I have to remind myself that he isn't having the daily inner dialogue about Nate that I do, and maybe that is o.k.

    We went to a parent learning weekend for SN parents and one of the facilitators had this same problem with her husband. She accused him of being "in denial" and he responded, " I am not 'in Denial'. I am 'in Hope'".....

    WAY 2 Cool 4 School


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  • image-auntie-:

    This is exactly how I initially processed the news. Until the A word, I felt like my child had the potential to do anything. His world was filled with possibilities. And then it wasn't.

    It seems as if there are two reactions to this sort of news. Those who find comfort in Welcome to Holland and those would like to swing a Louisville Slugger at the head of the latest moron to email it around. I'm on team Slugger. Holland sucks. 



    A thousand times yes. 
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    11/10/10 The Kid
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