Waiting to be matched

notlistening2002

In April, after being on the waiting list with our agency for only 48 hrs, a bm picked us! We couldn't believe it!! Two weeks later, we received a call saying our son had been born. We threw what we could in a suitcase and rushed out of our house dirty dishes in the sink and all. We drove almost 7.5 hrs to the hospital where our son was waiting. When we got there, he was in the nursery and the hospital policy wouldn't let us see him until the adoption papers had been signed. We had a long night of practically no sleep and got up early to head back to the hospital. The attorney was to be there at 9:30 with the paperwork that would make it official! We were in the waiting room for about 5 minutes when we received a call saying that the bf had shown up minutes before us and had decided he might not want to place the baby for adoption after all. He wanted us to leave the hospital immediately but he wanted us to stay in the area in case he decided not to parent after all. We finally received a call about 10:30 that night saying that it was over the bf had decided against their adoption plan. The drive home without the baby we already thought of as our son was heartbreaking. So now, we are back on the waiting list, praying to be matched again soon. I have never been good at patience and this has been a real learning experience! Have any of you had similar experiences? How long did you have to wait until someone else picked you?

sgb721

We've been home study approved since Feb and waiting since March... I don't have much advice for you other then to say I am sorry for your heartache and I am sure that your child will become yours soon. Best of luck!!

Mush-Tastic

We were home study approved only 12 days before we got a call we'd been picked by a BM for a baby girl born the night before. We flew out of town, met the BM, held baby girl, named baby girl, spent the night with her and BM. BM was so happy and told us she wanted us to be her parents.

At 12:39AM that following morning, we got a call on my cell phone waking us up and it was her extended family. She had kept her pregnancy from them for a variety of reasons; mainly their gang involvement down in Chicago area, and they'd found out about it. They drove up from IL and stormed the hospital at midnight. They called to inform us this adoption plan "wasn't going go our way." 

Needlesstosay...after a highly over-dramatic scene until 6PM that following evening, we didn't know what choice she was going to make. She ended up parenting due to their pressure. We left empty handed. I was devastated. I couldn't get out of bed for over a week. I am glad we decided to throw our names back into the waiting pool immediately because our son was born just a little over a month later and we brought him home on his 1 month birthday. We have a fully-open adoption with both of his birth parents and it could not be a more perfect situation for us. We are so blessed.

I can totally relate to your story. It's very difficult, but don't give up! When you finally do match with your son and daughter, all of this will make sense. I didn't believe people when they said that to me, but it's so true.

notlistening2002

Thank you so much for sharing your story! There have been times throughout our infertility/adoption journey that things have felt very lonely & it's such a blessing to know that we aren't the only ones experiencing set backs and disappointments. We know that one day we will look back on this process and be thankful for the son/daughter who will join our family through it, but living through it isn't always fun/easy!