Laboring at home Q!

mrssamarataylor

I've heard a few women talk about laboring at home a little before going to the hospital and I really want to try that. As a FTM I am not sure what changes I should look for to know to go to the hospital, and I know each women progresses differently. So the question is: what was the moment that you knew it was time to go to the hospital? 

sschwege

As maddening as this answer is, most women just 'know'.  Hard to explain beyond that.  My advice is trust your gut.  I second guessed myself with DS and he could have easily been born in the car (we didn't make it past triage before he was in my arms).  

Listen to your body and you will be fine  

atcwag

I'm a FTM who plans to labor at home as long as possible, so no "real" experience here, but....

I've heard many theories on this, typically when you can't talk through contractions and you don't want to carry on conversation and have kind of withdrawn into yourself, it's time to go.  Also when riding in the car seems like the last possible thing you would like to do.

Dr's and even my natural-birth friendly childbirth class says to go at 5-1-1 (contractions 5 min apart, lasting 1 min, for 1 hour).  I'm hoping to stay at home longer than this depending on how I'm feeling and how my labor has progressed to that point.  The 5-1-1 rule can often leave you with still quite a bit of time.  We live literally 2 min. from the hospital, so I'm sure I can stay at home a little longer.

aylafsu88

I agree with PPs, you will just know.  I labored at home for about 7 hours.  I was at the point were contractions were intense, back labor was horrible, and I was tired.  My contractions were all over the place and never established a solid 5-1-1 pattern.  I told my H and doula it was time to go.  They tried to convince me to wait one more hour.  I refused and we went.  I was holding LO withint 2 hours of arriving at the hospital.  My advice is to relax and trust your body.  If you are questioning if it is time to go to the hospital it is to early.  When your single focus is to get to the hospital cause the baby is about to be here- it is time to go. GL!

tokenhoser

First up, this blog post rang true for me:

https://bellyupbaby.blogspot.com/2011/07/is-it-time-to-go-to-hospital.html

And this is my whole birth story:

https://community.thenest.com/cs/ks/forums/thread/53109399.aspx

I arrived at the hospital fully dilated and ready to push.

PepperBug

sschwege:

As maddening as this answer is, most women just 'know'. nbsp;Hard to explain beyond that. nbsp;My advice is trust your gut. nbsp;I second guessed myself with DS and he could have easily been born in the car we didn't make it past triage before he was in my arms. nbsp;Listen to your body and you will be fine :nbsp;

I agree with this and had a similar experience. I am still waiting for 511! My contractions were very strong and required all my focus at 710 minutes apart...then suddenly they were coming right on top of each other. I should have left when I knew it was time. I would probably still have delivered in triage but I may have been able to spare myself the experience of triage in a car. Trust your gut and don't be afraid of being sent home like I was.

barnwife

Ditto pp...when the time comes, you will most likely know. Doctors often cite the 5-1-1 rule. However, that doesn't account for things like how far you live from the hospital.

While that's a fine guideline, I think it's also important to think about the emotional stages in labor. Keep in mind that the vast majority of women arrive with plenty of time to spare. 

If the car ride sounds like the very last thing you want to do and if you have to really concentrate on contractions (especially if you've had to do this for a while) it's probably time. 

WolFox

If you are nervous about it, you might want to look into having a doula (a birth counselor, similar to but different than a midwife) or a midwife. She could help you labor at home and will know when to go to the hospital. We are a year away from TTC but the woman who married us is a doula and the idea has made me so much more comfortable with what will hopefully be a wonderful, but certainly novel experience! 

A37licia

If you take a look at the book Natural Childbirth the Bradley Way, it will give good guidance that both you and DH can use to assess when you are well into active labor. It talks a lot about not going in too soon.

Arielle27

For my first, I didn't just 'know' as pp have suggested.

After 12 hours of mild but regular contractions every 6 to 7 minutes, my water broke and I immediately had strong contractions I couldn't talk through every 23 min. I figured I had a long time to go and wanted to wait it out. Luckily I had a doula who suggested, after laboring like this for 3 hours or so, that we go to the hospital. When we got there I was 5 cm, 100 effaced. I gave birth within another three hours.

bleusimp

Thank you for asking the question. I was told the 5 minute rule too, but didn't know how accurate that was. I live alone, well my boyfriend is out of town on a job, so I didn't know at what point I needed to call someone to take me to the hospital.

jamrosj

I am a mom who went to the hospital too early  and in hindsight, it was really obvious. First of all, Ibasically live a block from the hospital so that wasn't an issue. 

Mistake #1 was I got in the bathtub when I really wasn't having any problems getting through contractions. I learned later this can slow down your labor.

Mistake #2 was I freaked out because I thought my contractions were close together. I wasn't timing per se but two came close together during the same song so I thought that meant they were 3 minutes apart.

Learn the signposts of labor. Bradley has a great summary of what you should look for before leaving for the hospital. Basically I was still in the "giddy" phase when we left and I labored for another 12 hours at the hospital before getting the epi.  

musicalsilver

I didn't really "know".  My water broke, so I knew I was on the clock, as it were, but I stayed home for a while doing chores and the like.  I sat down to eat some breakfast after about 2 hours of contractions, timed them, and realized they were 3ish minutes apart.  I didn't feel terrible, didn't have to concentrate too much through them, but DH convinced me that we should go to the hospital.

20 minute car ride later, and I arrived at the hospital 7cm dilated.  About five hours later, I pushed out my baby.  I think if I'd waited until I "thought" I should go to the hospital, I would have been pushing the baby out in the car.

So - sorry that's not too much help, but I just wanted to agree with a couple PPs that sometimes you really don't know.  I'm glad I listened to my husband!

nosoup4u

Things get real for me when I start taking off my clothes in labor. Both times I hit a stage where I just didn't want to wear pants anymore, and it was around transition or the start of pushing.

MrsP7309

I told DH I needed to go when I couldn't get through my contractions without support.  I asked him to finish up getting the hospital bag put together, and then we'd go.  We finally ended up leaving about an hour and 15 minutes later (he took forever!!)... DD was born about 20 minutes after I got to the hospital.

karacakes98

With DS, I started having painless contractions that I thought were BH at 5:22 a.m. I called my doc's office at 10 a.m. because the contractions were 45 minutes apart, but still painless. I was at work and about to head to school and since I was convinced I was having BH, I almost ignored the nurse's order to go to the hospital. I ended up driving myself to the hospital and walked in to L D fully expecting to be sent home, but when they checked me I was 4 cm. I was admitted and at 2:30 I was 7 cm and still had zero pain. My OB broke my water and that's when I finally experienced discomfort. DS was born at 6:52 p.m.

With DD, I had irregular contractions starting around 11:30 a.m. My H was at work and I took DS to a carnival with my mom. Contractions became timeable while walking the carnival and super uncomfortable on the ride to the hospital. I walked into the hospital, my water broke when I sat on the bed, and DD was born 7 minutes later. My H didn't even make it in time.

So yeah...with DS I had no idea it was time and with DD everything went so fast she was almost born in the car. Some women know and some just don't.

utlawgirl

I knew it was time to go when H tried to get me to eat something, and then I puked. I was in transition in the car (and that sucked).

MrsBigTime

I also just knew. There wasn't any specific sign or anything, but my mind just knew it was time for us to head in. I threw up a lot during my laboring at home so I was afraid I would be too hypoglycemic because of my GD medicine, so that helped me make my decision, but my gut told me more than anything. My MW suggested we labor at home until the early afternoon, but I'm glad we didn't because I had my baby only 4 hours after arriving at the hospital.

hamiltks10

In hindsight, the time for me to leave for the hospital was when I began doubting myself.  I told my DH at one point that "if we get to the hospital and I'm not very far along, I might consider getting the epi".  

I thought it was way too early then to leave for the hospital....but, not much later my body began pushing on its own.  THAT was when I absolutely knew I had to get to the hospital.  I arrived 10cm and DS was born maybe 30 minutes after we got there.

 

 

skio

Hiring a doula was priceless when it came to this. I was a VBACer and getting to the hospital too early was a worry of mine, because the longer you're there, the more likely you are to have people start pushing interventions.

I was already 4cm when I went into labor. Two hours later, I got a bout of shakes, which was me entering the second stage of labor; dilating from 6 to 8. A couple hours later, I couldn't talk, walk, or stay quiet through my contractions and they were three minutes apart. I got the shakes again. Doula said it was time to go, because the second round of shakes generally means transition. I would've gone sooner if it was up to just me and H. I didn't just know when the right time was. I followed the 511 rule with DD1 and got to the hospital at 2cm and ended up with a c/s 16 hours later. I had stayed home for 7 hours and figured it was plenty.

I was past 9cm when I got to the hospital and delivered four hours later.

lioness13

My doctor told me to come to the hospital at 5:1:1 - contractions 5 minutes apart lasting for 1 minute each for 1 hour. I waited longer because I wanted to only go in to give birth, not labor. I ended up waiting until my contractions were 3 minutes apart. When I got to the hospital I was 8 cm dilated and I delivered DD about 3 hours later. It was kind of torture waiting at home because I wanted to have this baby so bad but I'm so glad I waited. I was so much more comfortable at home. Once I got to the hospital I was not as comfortable. The monitoring and having an IV attached sucked. Maybe you can talk to your doctor about it a little more for guidance. You really won't know though until you are in the moment. I had a doula and that helped me too. She really encouraged me to wait. If you have a support person that can help you keep your goal in mind, that may help you too.