WWYD SHORT version.

NicoleWI

WWYD/how to handle? Nanny search from @#$ cont.

Wow, that got way long. Here's the Cliff Notes version:

Two nanny candidates. One was a former worker from DD's infant room at daycare (went until she was 2), who we run into occasionally at church and who had left earlier this year to take a different nanny job. The other was a slightly hippie-ish woman who is changing careers and in transition until she moves this winter.

We hired the person from the daycare b/c we figured she was a "safer" pick, with the daycare experience and the fact that we know her, and another past nanny of ours could be a reference for her.

Both did days this week to help us cover the time until the new nanny officially starts. Well, guess what? We have all sorts of issues with the daycare lady. Meanwhile, hippie girl turned out to be incredible with the kids and they loved her, and she hasn't taken another job yet.

I want what's best for the kids and I don't think the daycare lady is really going to work out, but I feel REALLY bad b/c we sort-of know her and we did officially hire her (no contract or anything was signed). (specific issues in long message. )

Basically, I feel like daycare lady is not showing good judgement, isn't really interacting with the kids in a fun and creative way, seems to need a lot of explaining about how to do things (doesn't really get it), and is odd.But, she totally means well and wants this to work and is trying to be very helpful offering to clean and make crock pot meals and stuff (which is sort-of overboard right now, actually).

Hippie girl is awesome with kids (even did some things that I thought were brilliant with crabby kids to deal with tantrums), creative, smart, can keep up with the kids and manage behaviour well, and just seems on the ball.

There's no way I can fire daycare lady without being a total jerk, is there? We will still run into her around town and at a wedding in October. If we decide to fire her anyway, what should I tell her? How much pay should I give her? Help! This has been SO STRESSFUL since April and I had really hoped/thought it was finally settled. Ugh.

*sparky*

I did not read the long version, but it sounds like while firing the DC nanny may be temporarily stressful NOT firing her may cause you more trouble in the long run.  Before cutting her loose though, I would try to get an idea of hippy-nanny's long term commitment.  You don't want to cut the other nanny loose only to have hippy-nanny two months in.  If she is committed, I don't see that you have any choice but to keep her over the other one.  It will be a difficult conversation, but I would offer her two weeks pay and just tell her it is not working out as you had hoped.

Mustardseed2007

I didn't read the long post either but I would say to her that this is really delicate because we know you well and do like you, but overall we have determined that we cannot keep you. We would be very happy to give you a positive reference for another job.

And as the conversation progresses you can say that the kids seem to just have better chemistry with hippy lady if you need to. But I wouldn't dwell on that part unless you just have to b/c technically what you are doing instead of keeping her is not really pertinent to the conversation you are having.

She ought to have an idea that you aren't completely pleased with her given what you've said.

ETA: It may help soften things if you can afford to give her a little going away money to tide her over until she finds something else.

shannm

I would just explain to her that it is not a good fit and offer severance.  The force feeding and bottle issues would really bother me.

Five Months to Plan

I read the long post. The feeding issues would really bother me. If the other lady is available for your time frame needed, I would go with her. Like PP said offer some severance.