Loss CheckIn

Mrs Nice

Welcome to our checkin!

I am sorry to have to welcome new loss moms this week but am so glad that you have found us. I hope we can bring each other some much needed comfort and support. Please feel free to join in when you are ready and share as much or as little as you wish. Also, if you have any questions you would like answered, just ask! Any lurkers out there please don't be shy, we would like to be able to support you too.

Have you taken any new steps towards healing this week?

What is the next goal you have set for yourself? Do you have a plan to help achieve that goal?

QOTW: How long did you take after your loss before you went back to your normal routine?


Open Topic. What is on your mind this week?

angelsnight

Ticker warning

Have you taken any new steps towards healing this week?  I signed up for a Rock N' Walk which us and our family will walk to remember our daughter, and also to help raise awareness of pregnancy and infant loss.  We are also fund raising for it, which will go toward funeral assistance for families in the community.  Our parents paid for all of Kayla's funeral costs, so it feels great to be able to pay it forward and raise money for other couples who cannot afford it.

What is the next goal you have set for yourself? Do you have a plan to help achieve that goal?  My EDD is two weeks from today, I'm just trying to survive it and try to be as good to myself as possible.

QOTW: How long did you take after your loss before you went back to your normal routine?  Probably six weeks, once I went back to work.  Some days while I was off I was productive, got up early, etc.  But most days I slept till noon and laid around the house.


Open Topic. What is on your mind this week?  My upcoming EDD

shandorfml2

Have you taken any new steps towards healing this week? went to therapy which was good. Her stone came in this week which helps finalize things

What is the next goal you have set for yourself? Do you have a plan to help achieve that goal? get healthy...mind and body. Starting to eat healthy, want to walk everyday

QOTW: How long did you take after your loss before you went back to your normal routine?    um, probably 5 weeks? at 6 weeks I went back to work. so somewhere between 5-6 weeks.


Open Topic. What is on your mind this week?getting healthy, missing my baby

bunnybun4

Hey everyone...hope everyone is having a good week.

Have you taken any new steps towards healing this week? this week has kind of been stagnant...no steps ahead but no steps back.

What is the next goal you have set for yourself? Do you have a plan to help achieve that goal? keep losing weight...I keep fitting into more and more of my pre-pregnancy clothes and it feels so good but I am not entirely there yet. 

QOTW: How long did you take after your loss before you went back to your normal routine?  I took 2 weeks off from work but looking back I should've have taken off longer...though I am glad that I didn't deplete all of  my vacation time.  It took me several weeks maybe months to really get back into my social routine.


Open Topic. What is on your mind this week? I am beyond frustrated...it has been over 9 weeks since my most recent loss and NO AF in sight.  I feel like I have been getting cramps and having the very lightest spotting for over 3-4 weeks now and still nothing.  everytime I see spotting I get excited and then NOTHING.  I am worried about having back to back d&e and d&c's and that it did something to my ute.  When i lost bunny it was a very complicated surgery because her head was measuring about 28 weeks and I immediately got my period back...this time it was a routine early d&c adn nothing.  It just makes me angry...I feel like with all the bullshiiit I have gone through this year that someThing should be easy for me.  I know I am acting like a brat but I just needed to vent...I am just beyond frustrated and don't know why AF won't show her face.  UGH!!!  vent over! 

hopefulmom88

Have you taken any new steps towards healing this week? Feels like I back stepped a little bit this week. Have had a lot of emotional moments, I especially hate when it hits me at work.

What is the next goal you have set for yourself? Do you have a plan to help achieve that goal? Just to start trying here in approximately 2 weeks and to try and be happy and not so nervous/anxious.

QOTW: How long did you take after your loss before you went back to your normal routine?  When I went back to work which was approximately 5 weeks.  Had to get back into the swing of things, need the job, money and benefits.


Open Topic. What is on your mind this week?  The autopsy appt. which is set for July 26.  Feeling a lot more nervous and anxious than I thought I would be.  Also that same day we have our preconception appt. with the new midwives group that I'm hoping to use with our next pregnancy. (If we are blessed to get pregnant again)

cawettig

Have you taken any new steps towards healing this week? 

Getting a bfp has helped me a lot. I was at dinner with dh and heard babies down a couple tables and it hurt, but not as much.

What is the next goal you have set for yourself? Do you have a plan to help achieve that goal? 

I started working on her picture album. I want to get all of the pictures of me pregnant with her in the album with the u/s ones and her sleeping pics.

QOTW: How long did you take after your loss before you went back to your normal routine? 

I do not know if this is a normal routine still. I went back to work at six weeks, but I am working so much over time that it still is not the "normal" routine. 

Open Topic. What is on your mind this week?

Getting the BFP, I am scarred and happy at the same time. I honestly have not been happy in so long that it feels so good to feel this way. 

JennyLynne

No new steps this week. Well--maybe coming back here? Also I've been trying to be more vocal about loss in general. 

Next goal: Still surviving this month. Therapy starts up again next week, as my therapist has been switching to a new practice. So I"m glad to be seeing her again on Wednesday. 

QOTW: I took 4 weeks off work and should have taken 6. Six was probably the mark where I started to feel like my new version of normal was tolerable. 

Open Topic: Some of this could be TMI, but I'm feeling like I have no boundaries today. Ready to join the TTCAL ladies (I was given the physical clearance 2 weeks after my delivery, I was just waiting for my own emotional clearance). DH and I need to get the intimacy part of our life back on track. Physical intimacy hasn't ever been super important to either of us--we both have a low drive. But it needs to be if we're really wanting to make this happen. 

princezjk

Have you taken any new steps towards healing this week? 

 Not really. I did return to work this week, but that was so much a choice as a necessity. Still doing counseling and support group.   

What is the next goal you have set for yourself? Do you have a plan to help achieve that goal?  My goals right now are too work on losing weight and focus creating a sense of normalcy in my life.  

QOTW: How long did you take after your loss before you went back to your normal routine?  I went back to work this week, 7 weeks post loss.  However I still don't feel like I am back to a normal routine. Not sure what normal is anymore. 

Open Topic. What is on your mind this week?Same as always, my sweet Izzie girl. Still struggling with a lot of guilt about the loss and feeling like my body failed her.  

JennyLynne

princezjk:

Have you taken any new steps towards healing this week? 

 Not really. I did return to work this week, but that was so much a choice as a necessity. Still doing counseling and support group.   

What is the next goal you have set for yourself? Do you have a plan to help achieve that goal? 

 My goals right now are too work on losing weight and focus creating a sense of normalcy in my life. 

 

QOTW: How long did you take after your loss before you went back to your normal routine?  I went back to work this week, 7 weeks post loss.  However I still don't feel like I am back to a normal routine. Not sure what normal is anymore. 

Open Topic. What is on your mind this week?

Same as always, my sweet Izzie girl. Still struggling with a lot of guilt about the loss and feeling like my body failed her.  

I think a lot of us can relate to your feelings about what is "normal". Life doesn't seem to go back to what it was pre-loss. Our new "normal" now has a layer of grief surrounding us. Our new normal is so far from our lives before. Yet those around us have lives that just continue on as they have been. Time has stood still for us and kept going for others. How can that be normal? Sending you huge hugs. I've been feeling like my normal is learning to cope and manage my grief. Which is still foreign.
Also I can relate to your feelings of guilt, but please try to be kind to yourself as you grieve. You are here and talking, which shows that you are strong. You love your beautiful Izzie, which shows you are a good mother. It's hard not to take the blame or feel guilt, but try to keep telling yourself that you did not fail her. You are a beautiful mother. Sending lots of T&Ps.

JessicaG220

Have you taken any new steps towards healing this week?

 I finally put together the shadow box with Ava's things in it.  I hung it right next to my bed.  It makes me sad, but it also feels like she's with me.  

What is the next goal you have set for yourself?

I have set a goal of losing 6 lbs in the next 6 weeks.

Do you have a plan to help achieve that goal?

 DH and I finally settled on a gym and we signed up.  I also signed up for a personal trainer and she helped me set my 6lbs in 6 weeks goal!

QOTW: How long did you take after your loss before you went back to your normal routine?

I went back to work after 3 weeks.  It was good to get back to normal, as much as I was dreading it.

Open Topic. What is on your mind this week?

DH and I have seriously started talking about TTC again.  I'm so scared.  After our loss and my uterine septum surgery, we just want to make sure we do everything possible to ensue our rainbow has the best chance at life.