How do you handle...

Lola52911

If you are TTC and not sharing that with many people, family included. How do you answer the when are you having kids question? I have to go to lunch with my mother in law sometime very soon. I just know that this subject will come up. How do I,for lack of a better word,lie to her about how one day we will have a baby. When it's all I have been thinking about for the past 2 months lol!! Thanks for the advice ladies!

Mysterious_wife

I responded with "The next time we have unprotected sex I'll let you know." It stopped the questions.

Lola52911

Mysterious_wife:

I responded with "The next time we have unprotected sex I'll let you know." It stopped the questions.

. Lol!!!! Love it!

Mysterious_wife

Lola52911:

Mysterious_wife:

I responded with "The next time we have unprotected sex I'll let you know." It stopped the questions.

. Lol!!!! Love it!

FTR, I legit did this multiple times. I was polite the first three hundred times it was brought up. I don't have patience for repetitive BS

Lola52911

So I should go on the sarcastic side of leave me alone it's my business? That's how I usually am but since going off bc I don't know what's going to come out of my mouth!

Everyusernameistaken

I finally snapped at my MIL and told her that every time she asked was another month I'd stay on the pill, haha.

Immature maybe but this was probably on the 300th ask.

Most people who asked when we were having kids I just said, "Oh, probably in the next few years" and they left it at that, like a normal sane person would do

KdgTeacher

MandJS:

I usually answered with "approximately 9 months after we conceive".

This. "9 months after I get pregnant" worked for me for about 2.5 years.

MNgirl326

I usally answered with "as soon as everyone stops asking us".

elektragreen

I'm ready to TTC, but DHis not. I'm to the point where I just shrug and tell my MIL to talk to her son about it. 

pettycrocker

I either say "Yea, we'd love to have another soon" or "We never really have time to try" then I change the subject. 

ArmyWife0623

i just say, ''eventually, one day'' lol 

pmarie33

We told everyone that we didn't want kids.  Then they stopped asking.  After #1 was born they asked when we going to have #2.  As if it was just that easy.  I wanted to slap the people that said "What are you waiting for?".  We ended up telling them that we are one and done.  

Collectively it has taken us almost 7 years to get pg twice.  I don't think we have it in us to try for #3.

Twinkie0612

I always answered with "someday" or "yeah we'll have to work on that" or some other vague response.  Apparently everyone has given up on us, since I haven't been asked that question in awhile.

if I were asked today, I would probably have a snarkier response.   

PunkyBooster

A we will see should suffice.

As annoying as it is, these people are likely just curious, trying to make conversation, or genuinely excited for you to become a mom.

Baby2Love4ever

we just say vague answers like when the time is right we will be blessed with a baby, or we hope to be parents soon. I think people back off when they think you are TTC, they stop asking. I do get what you mean, it seems really intimate and personal to share with everyone/anyone.

Mysterious_wife

Baby2Love4ever:

we just say vague answers like when the time is right we will be blessed with a baby, or we hope to be parents soon. I think people back off when they think you are TTC, they stop asking. I do get what you mean, it seems really intimate and personal to share with everyone/anyone.

Yeah, no.

KJKNAJ

This is one of the best things about already having two: Nobody asks. They assume you're done. In fact, if it does come up and DH or I mention that we would perhaps like a 3rd, they look at us like we have 3 heads.

dragonfly711

I cant respond to your post because since we had a MC in Feb everyone knows that we are TTC again.

I had to come on and say that I LOVE your picture of your cat.  I love calicos and that is just the cutest picture.  I have one of my own plus a foster that I have had for the last 2 months, had her 7 kittens too but they left a few weeks ago. 

CowgirlK39

hlmlvt:

I cant respond to your post because since we had a MC in Feb everyone knows that we are TTC again.

I had to come on and say that I LOVE your picture of your cat.  I love calicos and that is just the cutest picture.  I have one of my own plus a foster that I have had for the last 2 months, had her 7 kittens too but they left a few weeks ago. 

 

i second the calico love. We have three and they are all so funny. Sorry for your loss though....:(

 

For the OP, we are in the same boat. We have an appointment with my doctor in a few months to start working out my repro problems but I do not want to say anything to anyone. If we tell ILs they will run out and begin buying stuff for us by the truckload and then post on fb that we are trying. We can't tell my parents because my mom would lecture us that we aren't ready financially and begin asking dumb things like "and where do you think you are going to put this baby???" She thinks you have to be a perfect age and living situation in order to have kids. So we just aren't saying anything and if someone asks, we just say "we are getting our life together a bit more and then maybe soon after we do we will have kids." 

HNRomance

That is priceless, I will have to remember that. I literally laughed out loud. My husband had to ask what was so funny!

 

HNRomance

I'm with some of the other ladies on the friendly sarcasm. You could follow up by saying something like, " in all seriousness, we are taking time to be a couple and making sure we are ready to be a family BEFORE we bring a kid into the mix". That should get your point across AND make you both sound like you are making mature decisions. What mom can argue with maturity....and what MIL really wants to know about her sons' performance in the bedroom? lol

SpruceGrouse

Around 9 months after implantation.

 

trebekastan

These are amazing responses! I especially love the "I'll let you know the next time we have unprotected sex" comment. I teach high school Spanish and am a young teacher the kids feel very comfortable around. As a result they constantly ask me when I'm going to have a baby and it's gotten very uncomfortable. I've just brushed them off until this point, but I think they are expecting me to come back and be pregnant and don't know what to say because we are trying but haven't conceived yet. I'd love an age appropriate response to that question that would stop them in their tracks.