One and Done -- Because of Cost

brjolly

My son is two now and I find myself in the position of wanting another babe but in no way being able to afford it. My husband and I have good jobs and live in an sort of expensive area so we are considering how we could manage this. We're also thinking of being one and done. I wonder how other moms swing it, or if we're just less middle class than I thought. We'll probably end up forgoing another child to continue doing things we enjoy. Like eating and having a roof over our heads. I've almost accepted it, but still feel sad. 

Daycare alone is half my salary. Adding another would take my entire paycheck. And if I wait until he's old enough for free school then I might have trouble conceiving. 

Are any other moms only having one child because of the cost?

Arcadia1114

This is a big reason we are OAD. Daycare is expensive. If we really wanted to have another, we could make it work. It would mean being paycheck to paycheck, no vacations, memberships to the aquarium, retirement fund, savings, etc. We would rather have one and be comfortable. I grew up in a home where money was always an issue; I swore I would never let a child experience that.

kristennd

It's a major reason for us too, although not the only one. We're already paycheck to paycheck with a single paid-off vehicle and no cable, and probably still won't even be able to put this one in preschool, let along private K-12 and vacations.

People like to say oh well it will work out and with all that love you won't care about material items, but doctor bills and electricity aren't exactly luxuries. And who wants to trust that everyone keeps their job these days? Money was a huge stress item for my parents when I was a kid, including some periods with factory closures and food stamps, and I'm not putting LO through that if I can at all help it.

clstoblg

We most likely are OAD due to finances.  We are giving ourselves 1 year to make a final decision.  I really do enjoy actually being able to afford to do things with our son and love our life now.  However, it is really frustrating to me that my DH and I both have advanced degrees and decent jobs but can't afford to have 2 children whether we wanted 2 or not.  Something desperately needs to be done about the wealth gap in this country. 

KL777

It's not our only reason, but definitely high on the list.

Cellis

That's one of the reasons I want to be OAD. I say want to be because I know DH wants another child, but we're waiting to discuss it further after DS is one. Daycare/school is expensive and it only gets worse as they get older (I can't imagine what college will be at when DS is 18). 

missymo

It's on my list of reasons, for sure.  But it's just one of many.  I think it is irresponsible not to consider money when deciding how many children to have.  

mandelbread

This is one of the driving factors for us now. We could afford to put another in daycare, but it would be a HUGE lifestyle change. We'd be scraping by. I don't want to live like that. 

There are other reasons like my anxiety and DH's screwy work hours, but the $$ is a huge one. You can't argue or reason out of that factual...um, fact. I feel like, with the others, you can say to yourself "2nd baby might not be bad! You might not get anxiety!" but with money, you can't get around it. So I kinda cling to that as my reason to renew my Nuvaring again for the next 3 months. 

aesthyerin

Ours is kind of that reason but the cost would mostly be having to buy a bigger house not necessarily the cost of the new baby

MomToNeeners

M&MHaveMyHeart:

missymo:

It's on my list of reasons, for sure.  But it's just one of many.  I think it is irresponsible not to consider money when deciding how many children to have.  

This. 

I so could not have said it better! Money is such a big thing for me and my daughter. We don't get assistance and we get to do go fun things like going to the private zoo so she can feed the lemurs. I can afford my bills and I usually have money left over. That's a big deal. If I had another baby, it wouldn't happen. 

hopefulmom81

missymo:

It's on my list of reasons, for sure.  But it's just one of many.  I think it is irresponsible not to consider money when deciding how many children to have.  

 

ITA 

bcnoelle

We are sort of leaning towards one and done because of cost. If our income increased 100k of course we could very comfortably afford another baby...but that also means we are still both working full time and have the same amount of time now split for 2 children. After taxes, child are, food, potential education costs, increased in travel- we wouldn't be rolling in the dough. Whereas if I won 100 million dollars in the lottery- well I would love to have twins via a surrogate or adopt, have night and day nannies to help at a whim, have chauffeurs needed for after school activities for each child, quit my day job and explore my own hobbies/interests/ etc. all that being said, we could watch our budget and make different choices now to have a second child, but not sure how it would affect us.

Fianschneid

DH and I were both on the same page with O&D but for different reasons - cost was a big part of it for me.

Like you said, having a baby made me feel like I was less middle class than I thought I was. In addition to daycare, I'm trying to put more into savings for college and a new home. That cuts into our fun money big time.

I realize that's a first world problem and that parents don't have to pay for college, it's okay to rent, etc. but those are things I'd like to give my child. I want to provide a certain lifestyle and I'm not willing to make her sacrifice those things in the name for a sibling that doesn't exist. Does that make sense?

salt78

The fact that children are expensive is just one of the hundred reasons that we are OAD. I want to be able to afford my daughter every opportunity I can. Could we have two on our income? Probably, but it would be a stretch. I would rather live comfortably.

salt78

The fact that children are expensive is just one of the hundred reasons that we are OAD. I want to be able to afford my daughter every opportunity I can. Could we have two on our income? Probably, but it would be a stretch. I would rather live comfortably.

&orchid&

One of the few reasons we decided oad. It cost us 10k just have the baby and that was with no issues, unmedicated natural birth. Crock of shit.

mommymegan831

I'm just lurking, but I've always heard you  find the money, I think that's kind of BS.  While on maternity leave with DS we were able to refinance our home and save a few hundred, which went right to DS's daycare, without that it would have been so tight I'm not sure what would have happened.  This year we're switching to a daycare that will be $200/month more, but DH got a large raise a few months ago so we should be ok.

I toy with the idea of having a 3rd, although DH doesn't want to hear anything about it.  Now that DD is at the age where we have to pay for most things (zoo, amusement park, ect) I'm seeing just how expensive 3 kids would be.  If we had a 3rd now we'd have to sell our house and move in with parents or an apartment without a doubt, which would be a horrible life style considering we make ok money.  If we have a 3rd it wont be until DD is in kindergarten because of daycare issues, it I had to wait 5 years to have #2 I think I would have lost my motivation.  

MAtoNC

Honestly, money would not have kept us from having a second child.

However, when I make the list of benefits that I see in being OAD, it is near the top of the list, mostly because of the resources we will hopefully be able to put towards our son (education, experiences etc) but also towards all of us together and as individuals. 

hopefulmom81

KL777 said:

It's not our only reason, but definitely high on the list.

This.  Daycare for 2 would be almost $2000 a month!   It is just one more thing that solidifies our answer.