Gender Reveal Party

sarah0632

I know I might get flamed for this because some people are against gender reveal parties. I'm a FTM and I think it's a fun way to share with people the sex of the baby.

 I have an invite question. We're only inviting close friends and family. With that said the invite list is 40 ppl. I was going to put on the invites "No Gifts Please". I think it is beyond tacky to throw yourself a party and accept gifts. When I mentioned to my mother that I was going to put this on the invite she thought it would prompt people to bring gifts. Now I'm not sure? My gut it telling me to still write that on the invite, but I wanted more opinions?

Meery82

There should be no mention of gifts on the invite.

sarah0632

Darbie914:

Meery82:

There should be no mention of gifts on the invite.

This.  And 40 people to a gender reveal party? 

 My husband has a massive family.

sarah0632

Why can't there be mention of no gifts on the invite? I want to make it clear that I do not want any gifts. The party is really for the purpose of getting together, eating good food, drinking beer and wine (for the guests) and a fun way to reveal the sex.

FemShep

OP, your mother is right-any mention of gifts (even to say, "No gifts please") makes it seem as though gifts are expected.

And PP has a great suggestion-just throw a BBQ and then do a cake or whatever at the party.  I guarantee you that the vast majority of the 40(!) people you plan to invite, even though they are members of the family or close friends, really don't care about the sex of your baby at all beyond a "That's nice, now where's the beer?" 

(And being a FTM doesn't change that one bit.) 

sarah0632

-auntie-:

Not a huge fan of the gender reveal party. Keeping in mind that gender is between the ears and sex is between the legs, you can only reveal the sex of the fetus. Baby will reveal his or her gender over time.

That said, they seem sort of AW-ish, IMO. If you want to have fun with this, throw a general occasion BBQ for the families without calling it a "Gender Reveal" and do a cake (or whatever) as a surprise within the event. That way you have your fun without the gifts issue coming up.

I am fully aware of the difference between gender and sex. That's why in the post I kept saying reveal the sex, I called it a gender party, because a sex party might give people a different impression! LOL

 I do like your idea, and can see how that would eliminate the confusion. I love throwing themed parties though, it's almost like a second calling for me. I find that whole part fun.

Do you think if I can't mention "No gifts please" on the invite, that it's clear enough?

sarah0632

FemShep:

OP, your mother is right-any mention of gifts (even to say, "No gifts please") makes it seem as though gifts are expected.

And PP has a great suggestion-just throw a BBQ and then do a cake or whatever at the party.  I guarantee you that the vast majority of the 40(!) people you plan to invite, even though they are members of the family or close friends, really don't care about the sex of your baby at all beyond a "That's nice, now where's the beer?" 

(And being a FTM doesn't change that one bit.) 

 

40 people is nothing to us, we have family BBQs all the time with 50-60 people. My husband is Philippino, it is cultural. That number is including family and teenage children.

It seems like the consensus is to leave the "no gifts please" off the invite. Glad to know I was wrong, I was just trying to be clear. I am the type of person that would feel like I should bring something to a gender reveal party.

DreamDisney

If you're insisting on putting it on there maybe word it... "This is not a shower/gift giving event just an opportunity to share with others what baby will be. So come celebrate and let's see!" Or something along those lines.

Empireceo

I say forego an official mailed invitation, just have a get together and have some small way of revealing it at the bbq.  A party revolving around genitals is so weird, imo.

sarah0632

DreamDisney:

If you're insisting on putting it on there maybe word it... "This is not a shower/gift giving event just an opportunity to share with others what baby will be. So come celebrate and let's see!" Or something along those lines.

 

I like that. I just feel like I need to be clear..

Helenahhandbasket

sarah0632:

Why can't there be mention of no gifts on the invite? I want to make it clear that I do not want any gifts. The party is really for the purpose of getting together, eating good food, drinking beer and wine (for the guests) and a fun way to reveal the sex.

It's because other than at a shower, there are no parties where gifts are required.  It's presumptious to say "no gifts" because that means that there was an assumption that gifts were required in the first place.

Never, never mention gifts on an invite.  Listen to your mom.

ELauren88

sarah0632:

DreamDisney:

If you're insisting on putting it on there maybe word it... "This is not a shower/gift giving event just an opportunity to share with others what baby will be. So come celebrate and let's see!" Or something along those lines.

 

I like that. I just feel like I need to be clear..

Yea, I wouldn't do that. I had a reveal party, and had a blast. I only had our parents and siblings attend, I add this because people are shocked you think 40+ people would actually be that interested in the sex of your child to show up to a party where that is the sole purpose. Not trying to be rude, and I'm sorry if it's coming off that way, but honestly a mass text of "it's a boy/girl!" would also get the job done.

As far as mentioning gifts on the invite, again, don't. The only way for people to know these types of get togethers are NOT for giving gifts is to make no mention of presents in the first place. If someone does bring a gift, thank them, and set it off to the side to open later. Do not open them in front of everybody.

dufferoo

sarah0632:

I am fully aware of the difference between gender and sex. That's why in the post I kept saying reveal the sex, I called it a gender party, because a sex party might give people a different impression! LOL

 I do like your idea, and can see how that would eliminate the confusion. I love throwing themed parties though, it's almost like a second calling for me. I find that whole part fun.

Do you think if I can't mention "No gifts please" on the invite, that it's clear enough?

I agree the phrase "sex reveal" is not cute I gotta go with the others on the "no gifts" thing though. My girl Miss Manners agrees that it shouldn't be written on invitations "because it plants an idea where none might have been."

juhnay09

i had a gender reveal
party.. i invited the people that i was most close with.. 40 is way too much i think also. bt thats ur party. and ppl will want to know if they should bring a gift. if yu have them to rsvp maybe they will ask or yu tell them.. i had ppl ask me that.

MMason12

I do "formal" invites for all my BBQ's, holiday dinners, etc -- so sending out an invitation to a BBQ type event doesn't phase me.

I also do not think 40 people is too many if it is 90% family. I just think most people aren't used to deal with larger families now a days, since many people are keeping their family small.  As someone who has a larger family (when we got married 90 of our 130 guest were family members!!!) I know how just having family involved can give you a big number quickly!

I do agree that there should no mention of gifts on the invitation. 

Jesslauren310

im really not understanding why people would be getting flamed for a gender reveal party. they are supposed to be fun and really just an excuse to hang out and eat some food. my close friend threw me one and we had a blast! there were about 15 of us girls just hanging out, eating good food and drinking wine (minus me, of course) and lemonade. i also think it's rude to say that "people won't care about the sex of the baby as much as you." while of course they're not going to care as much as you, that doesn't mean they're not excited! surprises are fun, in general! my friends were certainly excited and wanted to know, and everyone screamed when they bit into their cupcakes (with blue filling in the middle). i actually caught it on video, and it's super cute. that's fine if they're "not your style," but that doesn't mean they're not cute or fun to others - and people should certainly not feel bad for having them. 

kjrillie1

I definitely think you should have a gender reveal party but I would go with no invitations and make it surprise. Tell people people to come over for a regular party and when they get there have up all your gender reveal decorations. 

LC122

Dissenting opinion here.
As for the number of people, you know how many friends and family would want to be included, so don't be influenced by what other people consider "too much" or "too many".
As for the BBQ vs gender reveal party, I for one would be irritated if someone I knew was going to reveal that info, which I would find exciting, and didn't mention it. If I thought the party was one of many family BBQ's, I might weight it differently against other possible plans whereas if I knew it was going to be a gender reveal, I would prioritize it higher.
As for the gifts, I agree with your gut about writing "no gifts". I get the implication people cite regarding etiquette, but here are my issues. If you have never been to a gender reveal, you may not know whether it is customary to bring a gift and I wouldn't want to be wrong in either event being the only one without a gift nor the only one who brought one, making others feel bad or myself for not knowing the custom or wasting money. Secondly, the assumption doesn't make sense to me when you really don't want gifts, for whatever reason. For example, most people would bring a gift to a birthday party. Our neighbors are throwing their two year old a party and wrote "no gifts please" on the invite. I know for a fact that they have more toys than some daycares I've seen, so I honestly believe that they really don't want any gifts. But if they had not written it on the invite, I probably wouldn't have thought about why they might have put that.
Alternatively, if your party is mainly family and close friends, you could consider spreading word or having your mother spread the word about no gifts and hope that reaches all or most people. Then you wouldn't have to put it on the invite.
In summation, invite who and however many you want, tell people it's a gender reveal party, write or mention that no gifts are needed.

bwillard19

Everyone is saying noone cares about the sex of your baby?  Well, in my opinion, some people do. Those close to you (close family/friends) do care. We are planning a Gender Reveal this summer and are ONLY inviting people who want to know.  This isn't a family reunion, this is for close family and our friends that genuinely want to know.  And about the gifts, I think i would just leave it off. If they bring a gift, fine, if not, great! I would leave it up to them.

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