WDPT?

MamatoA2010

So I have a long time childhood friend. We'll call her S. She has a little boy my daughter's age and I've long suspected that her and her husband pop prescription pain pills on a semi regular basis. Well my suspicions were confirmed last week when I was out of town for a wedding S and I were standing up for. While rehearsing that day I noticed that she looked stoned. Later that night was the rehearsal dinner where S and her husband were no shows. I later asked her where she was the night of the rehearsal dinner and according to S she "had too much to drink" that day. I later found out that she had taken two Vicodin and that was why she looked stoned and missed the dinner. I understand that she was on vacation without her two sons and she's entitled to go out and have a good time but come on, she's a mom to two little ones and I think her behavior was irresponsible and immature. My question is do I confront her about her actions and her flat out lying to me? I don't see it as a good thing that she's a mother to two small children and her and her husband are addicted to pain pills. This is not the first time I've seen her looking stoned and probably won't be the last. What does parenting think? Should I confront her or keep my nose out of her business?

30HelensAgree

Sadly, this is so common now. Are you close enough that you think confronting her would make an impact?

MamatoA2010

30HelensAgree:

Sadly, this is so common now. Are you close enough that you think confronting her would make an impact?

Eh, we're not super close but I do see her a few times a year for playdates and have been invited to her kids birthday parties...

nanabanana06

I'm not one for confrontation. I would just call CPS. I have no patience for people who do drugs and have children. None.

30HelensAgree

MamatoA2010:

30HelensAgree:

Sadly, this is so common now. Are you close enough that you think confronting her would make an impact?

Eh, we're not super close but I do see her a few times a year for playdates and have been invited to her kids birthday parties...

Two things come to mind... contacting one of her parents and sharing your concerns, hoping they believe you and don't throw you under the bus, and considering a call to CPS, which should serve as a wakeup call. Actually, if it were me, I'd absolutely call CPS. This isn't a safe situation for kids.

suv75

I wouldn't confront her. They are adults and know what they are doing is wrong but choose to do it anyway. You saying something isn't going to change that.

However, If you feel the kids are in danger and have witnessed it first hand with kids present, I'd call CPS but tell her first that you intend to do so. Might give her the kick in the butt she needs to get help.

MamatoA2010

Spooko:

CPS isn't going to even investigate that. There's no cause. The only evidence is from a time when her kids weren't even there, therefore, not in any kind of harm's way. Yeah, they probably do it even when the kids are around, but you don't have enough to go on with that. 

Yeah, in her defense I don't think she does it when the kids are around but like I said, I'm not around her often enough to know. I agree with you Spooko...

30HelensAgree

Spooko:

CPS isn't going to even investigate that. There's no cause. The only evidence is from a time when her kids weren't even there, therefore, not in any kind of harm's way. Yeah, they probably do it even when the kids are around, but you don't have enough to go on with that.nbsp;

That's really disappointing.

robinsokj

Knowing your tendency to overreact I have a hard time believing this in the first place

MamatoA2010

robinsokj:

Knowing your tendency to overreact I have a hard time believing this in the first place

Um, ok?....

Abinormal

30HelensAgree:

Spooko:

CPS isn't going to even investigate that. There's no cause. The only evidence is from a time when her kids weren't even there, therefore, not in any kind of harm's way. Yeah, they probably do it even when the kids are around, but you don't have enough to go on with that.nbsp;

That's really disappointing.

That's just the way it works. CPS doesn't have the time or man power to investigate a situation where a parent may be taking pain pills while taking care of their children. Especially if the children are being cared for, provided for and not abused. I'm certainly not addicted to pain meds, but I had some major dental work done a few months ago and I managed to take care of DD while taking Vicodin to manage my pain. I didn't drive her anywhere, but she and I were together at home while DH was at work. She was perfectly fine and taken care of. There are far worse things that some children face than being the child of a parent with an addiction.

jorkz821

Did she tell you she took the 2 vicodins? Or is that and assumption?

Maebb

If I could get the courage and if I felt close enough to her, I would say something.

One of my friends just adopted children who were taken away from their birth parents because they had a prescription drug problem. It is a dangerous road, and it might just seem like a little recreational fun now to your friend, but it could destroy her life and her family. I don't know if you can tell or teach someone that if they're not ready or willing to listen, but I might try.

MamatoA2010

CTGirl30:

Just make her some Ghiradelli brownies and call it a day.

Haha. Very funny. Get a new line..

MamatoA2010

Brandi Bee:

I wouldn't call CPS unless you witness something firsthand. If they did for some reason look into it and show up, it could scare her children. Do you want her to lose her kids or get help? You can confront her but she will probably lie if she thinks you're judgmental about it. Is she someone you see often?

No, I don't see her often. She's been a friend since childhood but I only see her maybe a few times a year...

klondikebar

If it was a close friend and I was truly concerned for the well-being of her children, I would start a conversation. I don't know if I would say something in your situation and I definitely don't think it warrants a CPS call.

I frequently take prescription pain medication around my children so maybe my opinion is skewed. I am not addicted and I'm careful about the amount I take and the timing. 

LoveActually4

2 Vicodin is a routine dose. She wasn't driving or caring for her kids [even though she would likely be fine to]. I think you're judging pretty hard and you need more information before confronting her about anything. She could have had a medial issue...

[Deleted User]

I'm with Robin, HE, Klondike Gravy. My eyes about rolled out of my head at this idiotic post.

PS I have severe back pain and take Vicodin for pain under the supervision of my doctor. AND I breastfeed... Quick, call CPS!