Child let you know you're OAD?

MomToNeeners

Anyone have an experience where your OAD let you know you are?

I took my daughter to go get a bite to eat and we were sitting down to eat. This mom with 2 kids and grandma were loud and obnoxious. The grandma and mother were yelling at the kids and my little girl was waving Hi and saying "Hi" to the 2 boys and they ignored her. She had this WTH? look on her face after them ignoring her and her watching them getting yelled at. One child was about her age and the other child was older.

With that WTH look on her face...I knew she wouldn't be happy having siblings..LOL 

Arcadia1114

We went to go visit a friends's newborn. I asked DS what he thought of the baby. He replied, "He doesn't talk. He doesn't eat apples, and he cries wen he doesn't have an ouchie." He was not a fan of the baby. I'm certain he will not be asking for one any time soon.

Smudges*Mom

I have asked my son, in round about ways, if he wanted a sibling.  He has always answered, through words or by action, that he does not want a sibling.  Which is good because we have closed up shop (I had a tubal ligation 2.5 years ago because of a plethora of reasons, mostly due to medical concerns).

That said, his "reason" (or desire) holds little weight with me.  I rank it right along with parents feeling the need to "give" their current only child a sibling.  A young child does not have the experience, logic, understanding, nor awareness of what a sibling really is/means to make such a choice.  I would not consult my nearly four year old on which vehicle to purchase (he calls fast cars "fire cars" because in cartoons, fast cars have flames shooting out behind them), or what kind of house to buy (he'd be thrilled with a one bedroom house since that would mean he would be sleeping in our bed forever [which he only started doing in November, mid-way through DH's most recent deployment]).  

IMO, decisions such as this are to be made by the parents.  Yes, it is a blessing for us that our son is seemingly happy and content with our decision, but that is beside the point.  DH and I came to our decision based on what is best for the collective needs of our current family.  Years from now, our son may decide that he wishes that he had a sibling.  Well, that's all well and good, but life does not work that way.  We had to do IVF to get pregnant (thankfully, our first cycle was successful, though by all indicators, it should not have been).  I had a very difficult pregnancy, which I did not realize until after the fact.  I was diagnosised with pre-eclampsia and HELLP Syndrome at 41w6d, while DH was deployed to Iraq, delivering our son while DH was out on a mission.  I endured severe postpartum depression (in addition to my pre-exiting diagnosis of ADHD).  Our son is almost four years old.  He is living in house number three (country number two).  His daddy has been deployed for nearly half of his life.  Oh, and I am nearly 42 years old.  Really, what about all of this says "let's do this again so that our kid has someone to play with"??????

While each situation and family dynamic is different, the "providing a sibling" reason holds even less water with me given the fact that my own brother has no use for me and that my DH is an only child himself.  I can recall one time in the last decade that my brother has called me, no exaggeration.  

OP, I apologize for my presumably preachy tone.  This topic, clearly, has hit a sensitive spot for me.  I guess I feel defensive about why we are "OAD".  While this may not be what I envisioned for my life, very little is as I had thought it would be. (We have lived in Germany for 16 months and I still can't believe we live here!!!!!)  I wish that a couples' decision to be OAD was honored and respected.

sucredee

My DD is 3 and loves babies at the moment. Btu she has never asked for a baby brother/sister (yet). But our situation is a bit different too. We are raising our 2 nieces and she has 2 half sisters (who live with their mom when they are not in college). So she is my only one but not DH's.

her BFF got a little sister 4 months ago and we see them a lot so she can get her baby fix .  A this point I think DD is perfectly fine with not having a younger sibling. She is too much of a momma's girl and doesn't like to share me.