What did you do with your frozen embryos?

Count Choculitis

My husband and I have 8 frozen embryos remaining from our successful IVF cycle a year and a half ago.  We've had them in storage since then, in the hope that we could transfer one more in about a year or so and add one more child to our family.  But given that we have so many - we are literally agonizing over the ethics of what to do with the rest of them. Whether or not to "dispose" of them, or give them to one of those "embryo adoption" agencies... like snowflakes.org.  Just curious the decisions that others have made and how you made them. This is the toughest thing we've ever had to decide together.

Ruthie04

Our remaining blastocysts did not meet the strict grading criteria, so we were unable to freeze any embryos. However, before our IVF cycle, we had to put our wishes down in writing. We were given three options: 1. Disposal 2. Locate an adoption agency and arrange for embryo adoption 3. Donate to Harvard's medical research program. We selected the medical research option, which was something DH really wanted. His grandfather suffered and died from Parkinson's disease and with all the advocacy for stem cell research, it was a cause he believed in.

I think this is a really tricky issue and it has quite a bit to do with how you feel about those embryos. When we got the call that our remaining 22 embryos were being discarded due to lower quality and arrest, I was sad because we wouldn't have the option for a FET, not because I looked at them as potential children. However, I completely understand why you might have an emotional connection to the embryos and feel compelled to give them an opportunity to result in a pregnancy.

It's definitely not an easy choice. Best of luck in making a decision that you feel good about.

ELF4321

We did not get to that point, but we were planning to donate them to research.

Dragonfly1226

After we had DS we had 7 frozen embryos. We transferred two during our first FET and they became our twin daughters. We never expected for the first two frozen embryos we transferred to both stick after what we went through to have DS. Now we have 5 frozen embryos left. I would like to try for one more baby in the future and then donate any remaining embryos to research. I am not sure DH will ever be on board for one more child though so we'll have to see.

mnj05

We never made it to this point either, but we did talk about it. Both of us could never dispose of them so that option was off the table quick. I was for donating them to a couple but DH said he couldn't handle the fact that someone would have "our" kid or if (on the VERY small chance) he ever ran into this kid, he would feel guilty about it. I can understand where he is coming from so we finally decided on donating them to research.

ccam

mnj05:

We never made it to this point either, but we did talk about it. Both of us could never dispose of them so that option was off the table quick. I was for donating them to a couple but DH said he couldn't handle the fact that someone would have "our" kid or if on the VERY small chance he ever ran into this kid, he would feel guilty about it. I can understand where he is coming from so we finally decided on donating them to research.

This is exactly how my DH feels. Before having DS, I was all on board to donate to another couple but now the decision is one we really need to sit down and talk about. I really think it would be an amazing gift to donate but its not an easy decision at all!

JBDamonM

I have five frosties and hope I only need one. Truthfully I would love to donate them for adoption, but I am not there yet. I do hope that by the time I actually face this decision that's the direction DH and I can agree to go.
I agree with PP, kind of weird to think of my kid walking around, but knowing that these agencies match based on the looks of the parents, and knowing ladies from here who have dealt with embryo adoption makes me want to be ok with going this direction!

itsmevkb

This is something we discussed extensively BEFORE proceeding with IVF.  We decided that we would give every embryo of ours a chance.  We also knew that we would be lucky to get even one or two frozen embryos but had we been one of those couples that was expecting to get many, we probably would have limited fertilization.

Anyway, we have one frozen embryo and our plan has always been to do a FET.  We never thought we'd have two more children without needing IVF so the thought now of potentially having five children is a little daunting but I can't just discard the embryo and I see donating to research as essentially the same thing.  More so than just having five children, a bigger wrench in our plans is that I found out after having Maren that I was very close to developing cervical cancer.  I had a portion of my cervix removed which may threaten any future pregnancies and I can't even try to become pregnant until I have consistently clean pap tests.  It's really stressing me out because if I can't do a FET our other choice is a surrogate, which we can't afford, or adoption which I'm not quite ready for yet.  But, in the end, I would choose adoption over research.  It would be hard but I need to give the embryo a chance.

MoFree

We have 3 frozen embryos. I am planning a sET this fall. If it is successful and results in a take home baby, I will consider my family complete and I don't feel any obligation to transfer the remaining two. I am torn between donating them for medical research or to another infertile couple. It may be moot if the FET is not successful.

racheyt0227

We have 18 frosties. I am hoping to use 1 more & then we will donate the rest to 2-3 other couples.

Mr. & Mrs. Woodtick

We have 5 frosties. If we are not successful TTC on our own we will transfer what survives the thaw in the spring. 

Mcsweets

I just wanted to comment that we were blessed with being able to "adopt" frozen embryos anonymously. When we first started our infertility journey I didn't even know this was an option, and from the beginning I thought it was incredible.  As we progressed, we found out my husband has a very uncommon chromosomal abnormality.  It was either sperm donor, embryo donor, or traditional adoption.  I felt incredibly connected to the embryo donor route because it would make my husband and I "equal".  I didn't want him to feel any different than I did with our children. (not that it would have happened, I just really wanted him to understand my love/support for him - he already felt horrible that it was "him" that made us go through it)

So, we went through a donor FET cycle - long story short, the first one didn't work, but our 2nd cycle did.  

I am forever grateful to whatever "angel" decided to donate our little babies.