Frustrated

stephrodgers07

I'm so frustrated lately with all the opinions out there and my indecisiveness.

My 3.5 year old just screams if you put him down. As soon as you pick him up he's fine. I done want to create habits so I'm looking up info on this. Some say he's too little to teach and some sat he's capable of not feeling scared and alone if you leave him to cry.

I just don't know... Sorry i guess this is more of a vent then a question. Anyone else struggling with this?

And so many say let him fuss unless he gets worked up. Well mine only gets worked up. There's no gradual. Screamings more like it.... Sigh.

=Lee=B

Does your 3.5 month old have ways to self sooth?  Can he get his thumb in mouth regularly or get his soother in? 

If he is not capable of soothing himself with a soother/thumb or a lovey or in some other way then he needs you to pick him up to calm him. 

My 4month old has no way to sooth herself she can yank her soother out but can't get it in, she can randomly get the thumb in but when she's upset she flails about so can't.

Until she can do the above regularly and effectively then I have no desire to leave her to cry it out.  She's not messing with me, she really needs my help. 

 

plusoneblog

3.5 month old? Babies love being held, so I would say just holding him as much as you/he wants to. Maybe try a baby carrier. I don't think it causes bad habits, I think it makes your baby feel secure.

kgs0505

=Lee=B:

Does your 3.5 month old have ways to self sooth?nbsp; Can he get his thumb in mouth regularly or get his soother in?nbsp; If he is not capable of soothing himself with a soother/thumb or a lovey or in some other way then he needs you to pick him up to calm him.nbsp; My 4month old has no way to sooth herself she can yank her soother out but can't get it in, she can randomly get the thumb in but when she's upset she flails about so can't.Until she can do the above regularly and effectively then I have no desire to leave her to cry it out.nbsp; She's not messing with me, she really needs my help.nbsp; nbsp;

I Agree with this. this is the age where babies are looking to be more involved and need to be paid attention to and played with more. they have no ability to entertain themselves yet as they are just learning to grasp and purposeful grasping isn't quite there yet. so they get frustrated. carry your baby, he just wants to see the world and hang with you.

smfdjo

Here is the thing, the internet can be your best friend and worst nightmare.  Your his mom so take it all in and decide what works best for your baby.  Every baby is different.  Try both.  Every parent tries different methods and some parents swear by this and that and it doesn't work for the other baby.

 Also just when you think you have his/her routine down he/she changes it on you to keep you on your toes.  

Cellis

=Lee=B:

Does your 3.5 month old have ways to self sooth?  Can he get his thumb in mouth regularly or get his soother in? 

If he is not capable of soothing himself with a soother/thumb or a lovey or in some other way then he needs you to pick him up to calm him. 

My 4month old has no way to sooth herself she can yank her soother out but can't get it in, she can randomly get the thumb in but when she's upset she flails about so can't.

Until she can do the above regularly and effectively then I have no desire to leave her to cry it out.  She's not messing with me, she really needs my help. 

 

I agree. Until babies figure out a way to sooth themselves, they need help doing it. I don't think it will create bad habits. 

Chappy_jr

I knew that at 3.5 mo, DS was too young for CIO.  I thought he was ready at 4.5 months so we tried it and it worked for nights but not days.  Now at 5mo, we are doing it for naps since nights have gotten better.  We still nursed to sleep until two days ago, so I know how it is to worry about bad habits but our LOs are still young enough to break habits and they will be young enough to break them for a long time (and develop new ones)!

JSS1002

3.5 month old or 3.5 year old? You said year but I'm thinking that was a typo?

AppleJacks81

He is still young. Just give it time. They become more independent as they get older. Trust me, one day you will have a 3.5 year old that wont even let you kiss his cheeks lol. Get a baby bjorn  or ergo carrier and proceed about your day!

BBS!

I was able to sleep train a little before 4 months but I knew he was ready. He sucked on his hands when upset and was able to self soothe. I recommend teaching to fall asleep on their own sleep training once the little one can self soothe.