Depression

MommyMelRN

Yep. I'm finally owning it. I don't think this is fancy ppd, I think it's just my regular old depression coming back to haunt me, and it blows. I'm miserable, I'm making DH miserable and I flipping hate this. I just want to check out and take a vacation from life. No worries, I'm not in any danger of hurting anyone, myself included. I know a lot of you have btdt...I guess I'm just looking for a "hang in there sister, this will get better." Because it will, it always does, but I think I need someone else to tell me too.

melmarie26

I could've wrote this myself. Same scenario, not PPD just plain old depression. Just lingering effing depression with a touch of anxiety.

Me and you Mel. We got this.

I'm going to my doc next week to go back on my meds. Tried like hell to avoid it but, it's not worth being miserable all the time, KWIM?

Have you ever been on meds? Talked to someone? Tried phototherapy? What worked for you before?

Hang in there, Honey. Message me if you ever want to chat!

SpruceGrouse

I know how isolated it can feel. I am sending you some good thoughts and a hug and a hang in there. I wish I knew something better to say.

MommyMelRN

SpruceGrouse:

I know how isolated it can feel. I am sending you some good thoughts and a hug and a hang in there. I wish I knew something better to say.

Thus was perfect, thanks :

MommyMelRN

melmarie26:

I could've wrote this myself. Same scenario, not PPD just plain old depression. Just lingering effing depression with a touch of anxiety.

Me and you Mel. We got this.

I'm going to my doc next week to go back on my meds. Tried like hell to avoid it but, it's not worth being miserable all the time, KWIM?

Have you ever been on meds? Talked to someone? Tried phototherapy? What worked for you before?

Hang in there, Honey. Message me if you ever want to chat!

Meds, yes. Meds that actually worked for me? Notsomuch. What worked for me before was a really good therapist after going through 3 or 4, but my therapist is back in CT, and I'm here in TX. The idea of starting from scratch is daunting. Phototherapy is actually a really good suggestion, thank you, and one I can easily do myself since I practically live on the sun, lol! In all seriousness, it probably would help, I haven't been going outdoors much because of the heat. Some exercise endorphins probably wouldn't hurt me either.

melmarie26

MommyMelRN:

Meds, yes. Meds that actually worked for me? Notsomuch. What worked for me before was a really good therapist after going through 3 or 4, but my therapist is back in CT, and I'm here in TX. The idea of starting from scratch is daunting. Phototherapy is actually a really good suggestion, thank you, and one I can easily do myself since I practically live on the sun, lol! In all seriousness, it probably would help, I haven't been going outdoors much because of the heat. Some exercise endorphins probably wouldn't hurt me either.

Absolutely nothing worked for me but plain old Wellbutrin. I tried Lexapro, Prozac, Zoloft. I felt zero difference until he put me on Wellbutrin bupropion. It made me lose a good bit of weight too, when I was not needing to lose weight. But, other than that glorious side effect, I had no bad ones.

Definitely try sunshine. I noticed a difference in just a day or two after going to the tanning bed. I would lay in there 10 minutes tops and I felt great. It's a win win!

I'm with you in the exercise department. I'm trying to convince myself that I have time to start getting my miles in. Truth is, there's nothing as important as your health so, DO IT !!!

I'll be your cheerleader, Mel !!!

MommyMelRN

melmarie26:

MommyMelRN:

Meds, yes. Meds that actually worked for me? Notsomuch. What worked for me before was a really good therapist after going through 3 or 4, but my therapist is back in CT, and I'm here in TX. The idea of starting from scratch is daunting. Phototherapy is actually a really good suggestion, thank you, and one I can easily do myself since I practically live on the sun, lol! In all seriousness, it probably would help, I haven't been going outdoors much because of the heat. Some exercise endorphins probably wouldn't hurt me either.

Absolutely nothing worked for me but plain old Wellbutrin. I tried Lexapro, Prozac, Zoloft. I felt zero difference until he put me on Wellbutrin bupropion. It made me lose a good bit of weight too, when I was not needing to lose weight. But, other than that glorious side effect, I had no bad ones.

Definitely try sunshine. I noticed a difference in just a day or two after going to the tanning bed. I would lay in there 10 minutes tops and I felt great. It's a win win!

I'm with you in the exercise department. I'm trying to convince myself that I have time to start getting my miles in. Truth is, there's nothing as important as your health so, DO IT !!!

I'll be your cheerleader, Mel !!!Thanks girl! I can try and return the favor! I've tried Celexa, Wellbutrin, and Lexapro. One thing that actually really did help was Adderall I know its not for depression, my doc was wacky, she thought i had adult ADD, which I really don't think is possible but I can't take that while breastfeeding.

Edit: sorry for the run on sentences, bump mobile ate my punctuation.

MommyMelRN

natalie8784:

I dealt with seasonal depression starting in high school. nbsp;As I got older it morphed into regular depression lasting year round. nbsp;After being told by a doctor once to "suck it up, you are much healthier then some with CF, be thankful" I went years without treatment. nbsp;I finally went on meds in January. nbsp;I know that PPD/A played a part, but it was mostly just my old "buddy". nbsp;I'm joining Spruce in giving you a huge hug and saying that it will get better. nbsp;Younbsp;recognizingnbsp;the problem is a huge step.nbsp;

Thanks, and what a douchy doc!

MommyMelRN

BPaws:

It WILL get better. It will. You just need to hang out long enough to wait it out. You're not alone.

The exercise.... Miles and miles are great... But endorphins don't happen at a certain distance, they don't know if you've run a mile or 5 metres. Or if you've been doing jumping jacks. Or climbing up and down your stair case. Don't not do anything because you don't have time I do it all [trust me! I always say "I may not have time to work out for an hour, but I have 5 minutes and that's better than nothing].

Start small! Do 10 jumping jacks in the morning. The next day do 11. Even getting up and moving will make you feel better and give you a rush.

Useless help when you're feeling depressed, but I can say I'd be losing my shiit if I didn't get some exercise a day. I have battled depression for many years, and exercise is the only thing that keeps it in check for me at all, in any form.

For what it's worth my dear, you are not alone. At all. As bleak as it may seem right now, It will get better! And until it does, you know you've got a great support group here if you need them.

Thanks girl! I'm imagining an awkward hug right now!

JessiP613

As I'm sure you can tell from all the other replies you're not alone! We're all here to support you and give awkward internet hugs! I hope you get feeling better soon.

PaisleyRuth

I'm right there with ya Mel!  You are not alone.  You know I've been taking meds for about a month now.  It is certainly taking some edges off as I was starting to get very angry, so I think it can help get you to a better starting place.  I pray it gets better for all of us who are dealing with it!

mollyxcate

I go through phases with mine and I'm debating going back on medication. I hate all medication because my weight sticks or gains when I take anything but I feel so much better when I am on them.

The best way I can describe it was when I got on meds the first time it's like driving with the sun shield/mirrory thing down in your car and not noticing its there, then putting it up and suddenly realizing how much brighter it is and how much more you can see. 

You could talk to your doctor about trying some meds. If you don't like them stop. It may help just to take them for a little while. It's hard to go through life just feeling blah like nothing is interesting any more and feeling like the next day is just a day you have to go through and that it leads to nothing.

Hang in there! We love you!

VeniVidiScripsi

melmarie26:

I could've wrote this myself. Same scenario, not PPD just plain old depression. Just lingering effing depression with a touch of anxiety. Me and you Mel. We got this. I'm going to my doc next week to go back on my meds. Tried like hell to avoid it but, it's not worth being miserable all the time, KWIM? Have you ever been on meds? Talked to someone? Tried phototherapy? What worked for you before? Hang in there, Honey. Message me if you ever want to chat!

This is me too. It does suck and it's worse when you know what it is, know you hate being like this but can't change it. At least that's how I feel.

I've been trying different meds (prozac first but it made me have awful nightmares and no appetite. And now I'm on zoloft, 3rd week on it, it's good but i've had night sweats the last few nights.. hope that doesn't stay). I also had a counselor. I say had bc when DH got laid off at the end of last month we lost our benefits. (this is a whole new can of worms)  His new job (for a year) has no benefits.

I've just started making myself walk the dogs daily, we bought bikes and a bike trailer, and I've been taking my dogs jogging before bed for 2 nights now. It's good to get exercise.

Anyway, enough about me. I just wanted you to know that you are not alone and we are here if you need to talk. It WILL get better! Hang in there. Try to find your thing to keep you distracted/happy/motivated etc.  

 

MommyMelRN

Thanks ladies!  It feels better to know I'm not alone!  I'm actually feeling a little better this afternoon, and I also realized that there may be a hormonal aspect to what is going on too, so I'm making an appt with my midwife on Monday.  I've got to start somewhere!