Hi! I'm New Here

carolinasunshine

Hi All,

I am a long time lurker on the bump... recently I have been specifically lurking on this board. I think this board is an amazing community of compassionate and supportive women and I hope to post here more frequently as we move along in our journey. My husband and I feel pulled to adopt through foster care and are very excited ? though we know this route might mean a long road to parenthood.

I have been doing a lot of research about adoption and wondered if you ladies would mind helping me answer a few questions. I understand that with foster care the typical path is: take classes with an agency, do a home study/ background check, and if all goes well wait for a placement - seems like after that come the real twists and turns!

Here are my questions:

-          - Anyone aware of any regulations against fostering/adopting while I am in school? (My DH is the current financial provider) I hope being in school would be viewed comparably as being a working parent, but there is always that concern of we won?t be accepted because of something.

-          - Aside from being able to meet household needs and the additional costs of a child(ren) is there a minimum income requirement? Nothing I have seen shows an actual income range. Where you told a range in your MAPP class? We are blessed to be able to meet our needs, care for an adopted child or two, and have some leftover - but not enough to whisk us all away, to Disney for example, for a week without advanced planning and saving. I guess when I think of the typical media portrayals of adoptive families they are always very wealthy.

-          - Last question I promise, well for today anyway! Anyone ever adopt through the foster care system and maintain any contact with the biological family? I imagine this is more common in DIA, but I just wondered if anyone ever had any experience with this they would be willing to share or could point me toward a good resource. I realize every situation is different but I wonder how the dynamics of this arrangement could work. Currently I feel very open to it but would like input on how it might positively or negatively impact the child(ren) from those who have been there.

Sorry for the onslaught of questions. I have googled these topics but don?t feel any closer to an answer. I really appreciate any insight you can give! Thank you all! Have a wonderful evening and a happy & safe holiday!

Dr.Loretta

Hi and welcome. Not a foster parent, but your specific state agency should be able to give you info on being in school and parenting. I don't think it will be an issue, but I'd ask upfront so you know where you stand. I don't think there's a minimum requirement for income, but you'll likely need to show a reasonable debt:income ratio to show that you can provide for a child. The typical media portrayals of adoptive families are WRONG. All the adoptive families I know are solidly middle class: not wealthy, but paying their bills and able to provide stable homes.

I hope you post often!

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GWUAlum

A friend of mine just finalized the adoption of her two girls. Her oldest girls dad is still in the picture. She felt comfortable having an open type adoption with him. Her youngest bio family doesn't have any contact with her.

IdigDirt

Welcome! I am also trying to go the foster to adopt route but still in the paperwork phase since the guy at the agency is on vacay until the 8th we are on hold until then. I can't answer your questions since I haven't been there yet but I know people who have no money at all who foster just for the money (ick!) so I wouldn't worry too much about it.

mtendere

Being a student is fine as long as you show that you can meet your financial obligations. Their big worry with income is making sure you aren't doing it for the stipend or would become easily dependent on the foster care stipend.

While being a student is fine, if you are not working, many agencies/states will not cover daycare expenses, so if you are going to need childcare, you'll need to consider that. I'm in a similar position, actually.

As far as open adoption, it really depends on the case. In some cases it's not safe to have any continuing contact. In others, they offer biological parents some kind of open/semiopen adoption to encourage them to relinquish voluntarily. And in other cases, there is no contact with the biological parents, but there may be with extended family. It's not really something you can know ahead of time. There will very likely be contact during the process, including visits and such. It just depends on the details of the case.

fledgegrl1

The other ladies have given great answers, but I just wanted to say hi and welcome. Also, I will add that I'm in graduate school and it wasn't an issue at all for our DIA homestudy. GL on your journey.