Ferber-ers — The Bump
February 2013 Moms


So we "Ferbered" (yes, it's a verb now) last night.  Went okay, though I definitely screwed it up by giving him the pacifier each time.  Not doing that tonight.


Just tried to Ferber for a nap and it was a disaster and I wasn't strong enough.  I have trouble with naps in general bc he doesn't fall asleep on his own so I literally rock him from wide awake to fully asleep (this usually takes about 5 minutes, so I know he's tired).  Therefore, when I tried to do this just now he went into crib crying and wide awake.

Question: In your opinion, can I just Ferber at night for now and work on naps later?  Do you think that would mess everything up? 

Off bcp March 2011 
Aug 2011-Feb 2012 tried to regulate cycles w/ Metformin -- no luck 
April 2012: Clomid (50mg) + Injects + TI = BFN
May 2012: Clomid (100mg) + Injects + TI = BFP on 6/8/12   

Lilypie - (74ba)

Re: Ferber-ers

  • IMO, you have to do it all the way if that is how they are going to learn to fall asleep. They can't learn it at bed time then be rocked to sleep for a nap. They will just be confused. Naps are definitely the hardest for sure. Stick with it, if you want this method, and lose the pacifier, it's a sleep crutch.


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  • OP, have you read the book? Or are you just doing time interval checks and have an idea of how to do Ferber. If you haven't read the book, you should read it. He covers how to deal with naps. And I agree with mishka that you need to do it all the way. If you have read the book, remember The nap rules are:

    -follow the same time interval checks as the night before

    -after 30 minutes if your babe still has not fallen asleep, end that nap

    -if your LO falls asleep in another room somewhere else, that is okay. As long as it is not in the same fashion that he/she normally falls asleep (I.e.: being rocked to sleep by mom)

    Ferber is all about sleep associations. You are aiming to teach your LO new sleep associations. One thing I love about Ferber is he says if his technique aren't working by the end of a week or two, it is time to try something new.

    and giving into your LO and rocking to sleep is totally teaching that if they cry long enough, they will win. So bedtime may be a bit harder tonight because you are confusing your LO. Try making bedtime about 30-60 minutes past normal bedtime in aim to wear out more. That may make bedtime a bit easier tonight. 


    Oh, and by the way... We nixed our sons soother during Ferber too, and he found his thumb. 

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  • We didn't ferberise but I did start putting J down awake for bedtime and it went very well. Naps were another story. It was a full month after I started putting him down awake for bedtime until I was able to so it for nap time. The fact that he needed to be rocked to sleep for naps DID NOT seem to affect his ability to self soothe at bedtime. Personally, I don't think there is any harm in starting with bedtime and then working your way to naps. I would just try it and see what happens. This is just my opinion and I did not read Ferber's book.
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  • Um, actually Ferber says it's perfectly ok to do nighttime and then naps. That's what we did with DD1. When she was 6 months old we did Ferber for sleep associations and it worked miracles at night. For naps, though, it didn't work at all. She napped in my arms for another month. I gave Ferber a try again when she was 7 months old and it worked great.

    I say do the nighttime and if it doesn't work for naps, that's fine. You can do them later.

    ETA: I'd give you the citation from Ferber saying it's ok to separate naps and bedtime, but 1) I don't remember which part of the book it's in but I just re-read it last week so it's fresh in my mind, and 2) I have the Kindle version so I couldn't give you a page number anyway.

    BFP1: DD1 born April 2011 at 34w1d via unplanned c/s due to HELLP, DVT 1 week PP
    BFP2: 3/18/12, blighted ovum, natural m/c @ 7w4d
    BFP3: DD2 born Feb 2013 at 38w4d via unplanned RCS due to uterine dehiscence

  • I just got the book. Fully read the first couple chapters and skimmed the rest except for stuff that only pertained to older children. I an so sleepdeprived myself, though, that everything is hard to digest! I'll look for the part Kelly is referring to...thanks.
    Off bcp March 2011 
    Aug 2011-Feb 2012 tried to regulate cycles w/ Metformin -- no luck 
    April 2012: Clomid (50mg) + Injects + TI = BFN
    May 2012: Clomid (100mg) + Injects + TI = BFP on 6/8/12   

    Lilypie - (74ba)
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