Would you be disappointed if your kids don't have kids someday?

numeria11

When we were doing the thread below about career choices someone brought up wanting grandkids, which got me thinking.

Would you be disappointed if your kid(s) didn't have kids? 

Honestly for me?  No.  I get that kids are wonderful and I love mine but I know how pressured DH and I have felt by our parents to have kids and I just don't want that for my kids.  If they want kids great but if they don't that's awesome, They will get to lead a totally different kind of life.  I guess I look at it and say I didn't have you so you could have kids I had you so you could have a wonderful fulfilling life whatever that means for you.  It may also have something to do with my complete lack of mommy gene for new babies.  I don't get the squishy "Oh I want one" feeling when I see babies and never really have. 

EastCoastBride

No, I won't be.  I too, though, don't get that squishy feeling either!  

But really- I want DS to make these kinds of choices for himself and not worry about if we'll be upset or not. 

ppants

peanutrach1:

I definitely think inwardly I would be disappointed but I would try not to express it if that was DD's decision.

Pretty much this.  Our builder is my parent's age and doesn't have grandchildren.  He said it did make him a little sad.

Manateearmz

No. It would be fantastic to watch her go through payback for the hell that she put me through, but that's neither here nor there.

It is her life, her choice. Not to mention, what if she can't have kids? I will love her no matter what she does with her body, or what her body does to her. 

GrayGhost13

Hmm, if I am being honest maybe a little part of me would be disappointed that no one would be there to remember our family's history and traditions.

But if I look at the big picture, no. I don't think people need to have children to have a meaningful life, so if that's not part of his plan, so be it.

Also, I'm not a baby crazy person to begin with, but I think if I want to have young kids involved in my life when I am older and I don't end up with grandkids I would consider doing some type of volunteer and/or mentor work and/or fostering, etc.

74dragonfly

I would be disappointed but if she was happy I'd be ok.

Nechie122

I don't know. I mean, as someone who is probably one and done and might face DD's disappointment about not have a sibling, it would be hypocritical of me to turn around and put all the pressure on her to have kids.

Anyway, that's how I feel now at 30. I don't know how I'll feel 30 years in the future. Old people seem to love grandkids.

ETA: Just to clarify, however she turns out, I won't be disappointed in HER. I couldn't be prouder if she decided to put kids on hold to be a Fortune 500 CEO or a diplomat or a surgeon. I just can't say whether I'd be sad I didn't get to have the grandma experience. Maybe, maybe not.

shadypines

I would be a little bit. But it would not be the end of the world.....

ali_bl-nov05

Absolutely. I'd be devastated.

Again, I wouldn't want my daughter to put her life in risk to conceive, I'd rather not have grandchildren.

jehprb

I would but I'd never never say/let on that I felt that way as it'll be none of my business.

CindyRelluh

I think I'd be more disappointed if my brother didn't give me a niece or nephew. Not that I don't want my kids having kids one day, but maybe when they're older ill feel differently. I think [for my mom at least] she wanted grand babies because part of her had baby fever, but she wanted to be able to give them back. Idk.

MrsWindyCity

I'm not sure, to be honest. I don't think I'd be disappointed, but ask me in 30 or 40 years.  I would really love to have grandkids, but I definitely wouldn't put any pressure on my children to give me any. I seriously did not hear the end of it from my family for years, and then they asked then we were going to have #2, too. So intrusive.

Btw numeria, I think I saw you walking by Welles park a few weeks ago maybe? I walked by you and I was like why do I know that person...and then it came to me. Hah! 

RayRay007

Right now it's a definite no, but I don't know if something might change my mind.

klondikebar

No. I don't like babies or children that aren't mine. I don't imagine myself being the gushy grandma.

lildevil968

Disappointed? No. Sad? Yes. I've always dreamed of having kids, and Grand kids, so I think it would be hard for me not to be sad. Would I ever let them know that iam sad about their decision? No, because it is just that, their decision, and not mine.

ASmallWonder

Absolutely.  There's a huge difference between personally feeling upset, sad, disappointed and not respecting that the choice is theirs and a very personal one and sharing your disappointment with them to try to convince them.  I 100% respect the decisions they'll make but that doesn't mean my heart wouldn't be hurting to not have our family grow.  

 One of my best friends has two brothers and none of them have children and it's very unlikely any of them ever will.  Her mom isn't married and has no siblings and she adores baby (just retired from working in a daycare).  She would love grandchildren but doesn't say so.  She treats my son like her grandbaby and while I'm happy to be able to share that with her, I feel really sad for her. 

LuckyDad

Part of why I want 2 children is to increase the odds (and reduce the pressure) that one of them will breed and pass on our genes.

babygrl5507

lildevil968:

Disappointed? No. Sad? Yes. I've always dreamed of having kids, and Grand kids, so I think it would be hard for me not to be sad. Would I ever let them know that iam sad about their decision? No, because it is just that, their decision, and not mine.

This. I'll love my DD no matter what, but I would like to see our family line continue and be a grandma.

ByeBabyBunting

LuckyDad:

Part of why I want 2 children is to increase the odds (and reduce the pressure) that one of them will breed and pass on our genes.

Me too, and if neither of my kids have kids, I would be very sad.

kcisthebombdotcom

I would be inwardly disappointed. I would never put pressure if they made the choice to go child free, and obviously be a shoulder to cry on if they were forced there by circumstances out of their control.

i don't like babies at all. I think experiencing life with children is better than without. An aunt of mine is in her late 50s and loved the child free lifestyle of going where she wanted when she wanted. Now that she's older she deeply regrets it. I think the work of having children is worth the rewards. I think some people aren't meant to be parents and that's fine. I just hope it isn't my children. 

shadypines

LuckyDad:

Part of why I want 2 children is to increase the odds (and reduce the pressure) that one of them will breed and pass on our genes.

Yep.... thats me!! 3... Someone will give me a grandchild darn it.... lol

NotSharknado

I wouldn't be disappointed at all, but I'd be happy as f'uck if me and Dh get to be the grandparents we want to be.

MJHershey

That was me, but in the end of they choose not to, or cannot for any reason.. I woudl not be disappointed in THEM but sure, a little sad.

Runaway22

Sure, but I wouldn't pressure him if he really didn't want kids.

nixieknox3

Scout2005:

Sure. I'd love to be a nana someday to a whole bunch of grandkids.

But I'm not going to lay guilt trips on them or pressure them to procreate. It's entirely their call and I would respect whatever choice they made on the matter.

But yeah, I'd be privately disappointed to not cuddle my babies' babies. 

 

this.  i have 3 kids, so there is a good chance that one of them will have at least 1 kid.  i do have beautiful dreams of holidays and big family vacations with lots of grandchildren and i am not afraid to admit it!!

isacdimi10

I think I would be bummed out if NONE of my kids decided to have kids.

If it comes out that all 4 really don't want kids I'll get over myself, its their choice.

numeria11

MrsWindyCity:

I'm not sure, to be honest. I don't think I'd be disappointed, but ask me in 30 or 40 years.  I would really love to have grandkids, but I definitely wouldn't put any pressure on my children to give me any. I seriously did not hear the end of it from my family for years, and then they asked then we were going to have #2, too. So intrusive.

Btw numeria, I think I saw you walking by Welles park a few weeks ago maybe? I walked by you and I was like why do I know that person...and then it came to me. Hah! 

Yep you probably did We've been over that way 2 or 3 times in the last few weeks. Homesick for the old neighborhood and going back for Ribfest. We need to get together soon!

Kitiara5512

If my kids chose not to have kids and not to adopt or foster? I would be very disappointed that I wont have grandkids. I see how my parents are with C and I want that for me and H.