TTC After a Loss

To keep, or to return?

I have a couple boxes of diapers, wipes, and dreft that we bought before the loss. My husband kept telling me he was going to return it and he still hasn't. The one time we were going to take it back to Sam's, I broke down and told him I couldn't be with him when he did it. We are going on 4 weeks post miscarriage and have 2 weeks to go then we are going to start trying again. At this point, I am thinking we should just keep it stored in a closet out of sight. Am I wrong to do that? I know that we aren't guaranteed to get pregnant right away and thats fine. We only tried 1 month last time and got pregnant immediately. Anyone else feel the same about keeping/letting go of stuff?

 

Also, I have to go back to work tomorrow and am DREADING it. I've been off 4 weeks and I just don't feel back to normal mentally, physically, or emotionally.  

Re: To keep, or to return?

  • You need to look at what you are comfortable with.  I donated most of the stuff I had purchased but that was my choice.  It bothered me more to have it in the home than it did not. If you are comfortable storing the stuff, there is nothing wrong with that.

    The first day back is hard. Part of that is the build up in your mind to it. It will get easier.


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  • I kept everything that was bought/given to us and just put it in a closet we never go in. Out of sight and eventually it has become not as much in my mind.

    Best of luck tomorrow, dear! It is a lot to return to, but it will hopefully get your mind in a better place with time. Hugs for tomorrow.
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  • I am keeping everything, most of it is in the closet in the nursery, some of the bigger items are just in boxes in the nursery.  My hope is to be able to use everything in the near future, if that doesn't happen I will probably donate or give away. But right now, I am just not in a place to get rid of these items.  GL going back to work, I hope it is as easy a transition back as possible. 
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  • image buggirl72:

    You need to look at what you are comfortable with.  I donated most of the stuff I had purchased but that was my choice.  It bothered me more to have it in the home than it did not. If you are comfortable storing the stuff, there is nothing wrong with that.

    The first day back is hard. Part of that is the build up in your mind to it. It will get easier.

    This.

    The things our parents bought for us we returned and gave them back their money. The things we'd purchased we donated.

    I personally wouldn't be comfortable reusing items for another baby. The items we had were for our girls and it just doesn't feel right.

    Do what feels best for you.


  •     
  • We have everything in her nursery. I still have diapers in my trunk that I need to move and put in her closet but I can't yet :( We just close her door, that way we don't see it but can if we want to. We hope to be using it all soon so we're keeping it. If we have a boy, we'll just pack away the girly stuff for the next baby. Some things are specifically for her (like someone knitted an outfit) that we'll keep in her memory box.

    You have to do whatever makes you comfortable. Some people need to get rid of it/donate/return others don't. 

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  • ::hugs:: FX you have a good day tomorrow. Take it easy and frequent bathroom breaks if you get overwhelmed.

    I also bought diapers and wipes, I keep mine hidden in a blanket box in our basement. But I kept mine because it was right for me. If you feel that it is best for you to return them, you should do that. I HTH.



    mean_girls_35345Image and video hosting by TinyPic         PAL Sep challenge George Takei image
    Started dating in 5/9/05, Married 6/25/11
    Started TTC Feb 2013, BFP #1 3/4/13 EDD 11/10/13. MMC 4/9/13 D&C 4/22/13.
    BFP #2 7/17/13, EDD 3/29/14 ended in a CP on 7/22/13.
    BFP#3 8/19/13 EDD 5/3/14 Nerdling was born 4/29/14, welcome little one!
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  •     
  • Do whatever you're comfortable with. There isn't a right or wrong answer.

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  • I am so sorry for your loss I had a MC back in February. I have received lots of baby stuff from friends. I am keeping everything. I have it closed up in the spare room since I never go in there. I am hoping it will give us good luck to have everything tucked away.

    Again I am so sorry.
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    Me (40) DH (42).......Married 7/1/11......TTC 12/2013.......BFP #1 12/30/12........EDD 9/8/13
    Spotting,clot 2/15/13 all ok......2/21/13 no heartbeat 11 w 4 d missed miscarriage........2/22/13 DnC :(
    BFP # 2 10.10.13...........EDD 6.19.14



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  • Only you and your DH know what will be the least painful. We're keeping everything for our future babies, because that's what feels right for us.

    How far along were you? Does your company know what you've been through? Is it realistic for you to have a low workload tomorrow? I hope your first day back isn't too stressful. Be kind to yourself.



     







     
              
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  • image princezjk:
    I am keeping everything, most of it is in the closet in the nursery, some of the bigger items are just in boxes in the nursery.  My hope is to be able to use everything in the near future, if that doesn't happen I will probably donate or give away. But right now, I am just not in a place to get rid of these items.  GL going back to work, I hope it is as easy a transition back as possible. 

    this. Fx that the transition back to work goes well for you. 

    married my best friend 10/04/08, TTC since July 2012
    BFP#1 Thanksgiving 11/22/12, mo-mo twins(one sac), traditional EDD 7/27/13, EDD due to risk 6/15/13
    mmc Angel 2/7/13 @ 15w3d, mmc Aubrey 2/13/13 @ 16w2d, D&E 2/16/13

    BFP#2 9/21/13, EDD 6/2/14, DD born 5/17/14 

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    All AL always welcome in my threads!

  •     
  • I kept most of my stuff... I had a lot of diaper and wipes so I returned some, but not all, of those. I am giving a couple things to my best friend that is pregnant but everything else I just keep in the nursery. 

  • Just hoping back into this thread to say GL today!



    mean_girls_35345Image and video hosting by TinyPic         PAL Sep challenge George Takei image
    Started dating in 5/9/05, Married 6/25/11
    Started TTC Feb 2013, BFP #1 3/4/13 EDD 11/10/13. MMC 4/9/13 D&C 4/22/13.
    BFP #2 7/17/13, EDD 3/29/14 ended in a CP on 7/22/13.
    BFP#3 8/19/13 EDD 5/3/14 Nerdling was born 4/29/14, welcome little one!
     All AL welcome.


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  •     
  • Thank you all :)

     We have decided to keep it in the nursery since we keep the door closed. I'm hoping we will need them sooner than later. If it takes a while, then I will probably use them as baby shower gifts or donate them. 

     Work wasn't horrible. I kept to myself really and holed up in my office. Luckily my boss was at another site today so I had the office to myself and I got to take my time getting back into everything. Thank you all for your support! 

  • I might donate them to tempt fate.  Because Murphy's Law (???) says that as soon as you get rid of them... But maybe that's silly.

    Then again, I have two "girl" outfits I bought when we were pregnant (stuff that would have fit a little one born in October) that I can't quite get rid of, because I am confident we'll have another. 

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    Missing my little one lost at 9 weeks on 2.24.13. brokenhearted but not broken... 

    d&c 5/21/13... Still Healing, Still Standing... 

    MMC discovered 10/2/2013, TWINS... d&c 10/7/2013.  I still miss you, little ones. 

    Surgery December 2013 to remove a 10+cm fibroid... Open myomectomy. Benched for 3-9 months... 
    Will TTC summer Summer 2014 we hope!

    Dear God, Since I couldn't hold my little one in my lap and tell him about you, could you hold him in your lap and tell him about me? 

    PgAL and PAL always welcome...

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