clueless! teaching no running/throwing
brittas
member
Hey ladies! I have a very very active 22 month old who loves to run. He runs away from me if I'm not holding his hand. He is so fast that he can be halfway down the driveway if I let go for even a second. He scampers away from me at the library and LOVES running down the isles. He runs around in music class where there is a no running rule. I am trying to hold his hand and say, "this is how we walk", I say "No!" when he runs away. I hold his hand so tightly so that I can avoid the chase. How do you teach your LO not to run? I don't want him running around at story time at the library, and music.
Also, he loves to throw. I am blaming this on DH because he had him playing catch with a little football as soon as possible. When we are outside we play catch. But then at dinnertime when he throws his fork, we say "No, No!" He is also throwing his little musical instruments at music and I am so afraid he's going to hurt someone! I see how this how can be confusing for him. Do we lay off the games of catch for a while? I say no when he throws things he shouldn't and I take things away from him, but I feel like it isn't doing anything. Any advice?
DS doesn't respond at all to being reprimanded. He laughs and thinks it's funny when I chase after him. He smirks and smiles when I tell him no. HELP!
Re: clueless! teaching no running/throwing
For the running, I'd just start picking him and carrying him. Say something like, "If we choose not to walk nice or hold my hand you will be carried." Don't engage it further.
I might not be much help there though. I've been through my share of runners in working with kids and it works for me, but admittedly my own kid isn't much of a runner.
Mine is a thrower though. Loves. We do play a lot of ball to get her energy out. IF she throws something she shouldn't I say, "We throw balls, not XYZ. We Do X with XYZ." She does it again, I take it away without making an issue.
She learned quick.
And I pile on the praise. She walks nice I sound like a babbling excited idiot. Same with the balls.
You don't want to teach him "no throwing", you want to teach him when, where, and what he can throw. So, you can say "you may not throw forks" (and take the fork away if he can't resist throwing it - he can eat with his hands), but you can also say "you can throw soft toys" or "you can throw balls outside".
Ditto for running. You're not actually trying to teach him that he "cannot run", you're trying to teach him when and where he can run. So, "you may not run or walk without holding my hand in the parking lot," is good (and you can run with him, while holding hands, for running), and "you may run on the grass at the park". If he can't keep ahold on your hand, well, for us, that means DD doesn't get to walk any more, and I carry her.
And it takes a long time. He is going to trial and error every combination. You say "no throwing" and he's going to test if he can throw his bear, or his fork, or his book, or his ball. He's going to try each of those at the table, in the kitchen, in his room, outside, in the car, etc. He's going to try it with you, with DH, with any care provider. That is his job - to find out exactly what the boundaries of your unclear message are. Make the boundaries clearer, and be patient AND CONSISTENT as he tests those boundaries.
It gets better.
Well, it moves on to other things.
with the running I would take him out in the hall, away from the class or other kids and tell him that if he continues to run and not listen you're going to leave, and if he runs again follow through and leave.
I think your DS knows throwing a ball is different from throwing a fork. My LO is 13 months and has been throwing balls for months now, but he doesn't throw anything else. If Your DS throws something that shouldn't be thrown, he losses it, so so doesn't get back the fork or instrument. You're worried about other kids getting hurt, so if your DS doesn't have something to throw they're not going to get hurt.