Loss Checkin

shandorfml2

Posting for Mrs. Nice... 

Welcome to our checkin!

I am sorry to have to welcome new loss moms this week but am so glad that you have found us. I hope we can bring each other some much needed comfort and support. Please feel free to join in when you are ready and share as much or as little as you wish. Also, if you have any questions you would like answered, just ask! Any lurkers out there please don't be shy, we would like to be able to support you too.

Have you taken any new steps towards healing this week?

What is the next goal you have set for yourself? Do you have a plan to help achieve that goal?

QOTW: Any significant anniversaries/dates coming up?

Open Topic. What is on your mind this week?

shandorfml2

Have you taken any new steps towards healing this week? I don't think so. Trying to eat better, and pick up exercise again. I did get a new doc, and I really like her

What is the next goal you have set for yourself? Do you have a plan to help achieve that goal?  Continue to be healthy. Make it through the 1 year anniversary of finding out I was pregnant with Ana.

QOTW: Any significant anniversaries/dates coming up? Yep, July 7th 2012 found out I was pregnant.

Open Topic. What is on your mind this week? Missing my daughter...can't believe it's been 4 months on Tuesday. My baby should be 4 months old...smiling, cooing... I miss her so much.

princezjk

Thank you for posting the check in, Shandorfml2!  

 

Have you taken any new steps towards healing this week? I attended my first counseling session this week.  It didn't get off to a great start, she forgot our appt, but I she offered to see me free of copay and I think I like her. I plan to go back in 2 weeks.  
What is the next goal you have set for yourself? Do you have a plan to help achieve that goal? My biggest goal is getting myself ready to go back to work. I am set to go back July 8th. I have another follow up appt with the OB on July 3rd, so we'll see if there is anything that would hold me up from going back, though I doubt it.  Not much of a plan to get ready, just trying to get myself mentally prepped.  
QOTW: Any significant anniversaries/dates coming up?Yes, my EDD is July 2nd. I was originally told it was June 24th based on the dates of my last AF, but at the 1st u/s the EDD was adjusted to July 2nd.  This whole week between the 2 dates has been tough. Hoping with the passing of July 2nd, I will be able to move forward with my grief process.  
Open Topic. What is on your mind this week?Just looking to get through my EDD. I have heard from a lot of people that the anticipation of the date is often worse than the date itself. Fx! 

princezjk

shandorfml2:

QOTW: Any significant anniversaries/dates coming up? Yep, July 7th 2012 found out I was pregnant.
.

T&P for you as you get through this date. (((hugs))).  

shandorfml2

princezjk:

shandorfml2:

QOTW: Any significant anniversaries/dates coming up? Yep, July 7th 2012 found out I was pregnant.
.

T&P for you as you get through this date. (((hugs))).  

Thank you, and you too. EDDs are hard, but the anticipation is worse. Same with work. Glad you saw a counselor, hopefully you'll be more impressed next time.

angelsnight

Have you taken any new steps towards healing this week?  I don't know if it was a step per se, but I went off the Zoloft.  I want to get pregnant again and I am not comfortable being on it once that happens.  I've been much more emotional since I went off, but I think it's good.  It's been long enough (3 months) since my loss and I've been back to work long enough (2 months) that I don't need it just to survive, so I feel like I am being productive by working through my grief on my own.  Not that Zoloft isn't great and sometimes necessary, but my emotions were very numb while I was on it.  As bad as it feels to cry over my baby, right now it kind of just feels good to feel it again and attempt to deal with it.

What is the next goal you have set for yourself? Do you have a plan to help achieve that goal?  Just to get through July.  I am not quite sure how to do that though.

QOTW: Any significant anniversaries/dates coming up?  July 26 would have been my due date.  Like most things that cause anxiety, I am hoping once the date passes I will feel better, but in this case I am not sure.  Because then I will be thinking, "My baby should be home by now, or my baby should be a month old, or my baby should be six months old by now".  I'm worried it will never get easier.

Open Topic. What is on your mind this week? Taking an HPT this weekend.  I'm sooo nervous, but hopeful. 

amandager99

Have you taken any new steps towards healing this week?

Hubby and I went away for the weekend which was nice. 

What is the next goal you have set for yourself? Do you have a plan to help achieve that goal?

Continue to work on getting healthy again.  This has been a big struggle.

QOTW: Any significant anniversaries/dates coming up?

Not coming up, but just passed.  My birthday was Friday, all I wanted was my baby boy back.

Open Topic. What is on your mind this week?

This has been an issue with me for a while, but it's really making it hard to move forward.  I am still bleeding (possible return of AF, but not sure) and it just totally offsets any emotional healing when I'm dealing with this every day.  Five weeks now, I honestly don't know how much longer I can take it.  It's getting to the point where I wake up and want to cry every morning.

Dixon813

RedheadBaker:

Have you taken any new steps towards healing this week? 

We got our genetic testing results, found out the baby was a boy, and named him (Benjamin David). Still deciding on what kind of memorial(s) we want. The hospital Pregnancy Loss center nurse said the pastoral nurse would do whatever we chose -- a certificate, a private ceremony, etc.

We're still considering planting a tree at my parents' house, or we might have his footprints tattoo'ed. Just don't know yet.  

. 

Right after I ordered a necklace with my babies' names on it, I came across another necklace i really liked that had charms with their footprints.  I forwarded the website to my best friend to show it to her with something along the lines of "of course I would find this right after I ordered a necklace."  Her response I will always remember - "They are YOUR babies.  You're allowed to have more than one necklace, or memorial for them."

My parents asked if we would be alright with them planting three trees at there house - something I hadn't even thought of.  A group of friends sent us three azalea bushes that we'll plant at our house.  And both DH and I have different necklaces that we wear.  If I've learned anything in the past 5 weeks, it's that I'm allowed to do whatever I need to grieve and remember.  

Sorry to be so long - just wanted to say you should do whatever/as many things as you want to remember your precious Benjamin.

Dixon813

Have you taken any new steps towards healing this week?
Last Thursday marked one month.  We were given candles in a TTTS support care package that are "their" candles.  We lit them Thursday evening. On Friday I got the necklace I ordered with their names.  It was difficult to put it on at first, but now I love wearing it and having it to hold on to whenever I want.
What is the next goal you have set for yourself? Do you have a plan to help achieve that goal?
Today was a big goal for me to get through my follow up appt with the OB.  The next goal, I guess would be to move forward with somehow putting "stuff" away.  (blankets, cards, etc) I don't know how to, I was afraid I'd start forgetting them if I put these things out of eye sight but now that I have the necklace, I'm feeling a little better about it...
QOTW: Any significant anniversaries/dates coming up?
No - EDD is Sept 23rd, and even though we knew we'd never make it to that date, we didn't have a C-section date set.  So Sept 23rd is the next big day...
Open Topic. What is on your mind this week?

Everything...DH is on vacation, so it's nice to spend extra time with him. 

 

shandorfml2

Dixon813:

RedheadBaker:

Have you taken any new steps towards healing this week? 

We got our genetic testing results, found out the baby was a boy, and named him (Benjamin David). Still deciding on what kind of memorial(s) we want. The hospital Pregnancy Loss center nurse said the pastoral nurse would do whatever we chose -- a certificate, a private ceremony, etc.

We're still considering planting a tree at my parents' house, or we might have his footprints tattoo'ed. Just don't know yet.  

. 

Right after I ordered a necklace with my babies' names on it, I came across another necklace i really liked that had charms with their footprints.  I forwarded the website to my best friend to show it to her with something along the lines of "of course I would find this right after I ordered a necklace."  Her response I will always remember - "They are YOUR babies.  You're allowed to have more than one necklace, or memorial for them."

My parents asked if we would be alright with them planting three trees at there house - something I hadn't even thought of.  A group of friends sent us three azalea bushes that we'll plant at our house.  And both DH and I have different necklaces that we wear.  If I've learned anything in the past 5 weeks, it's that I'm allowed to do whatever I need to grieve and remember.  

Sorry to be so long - just wanted to say you should do whatever/as many things as you want to remember your precious Benjamin.

I have lots of things to remember Ana...if you guys are looking for necklaces, check out "Held Your Whole Life" on FB...Today only they are giving away free necklaces and keychains. They have your baby's name, date and birthstone or charm! 

Dixon813

shandorfml2:

Dixon813:

RedheadBaker:

Have you taken any new steps towards healing this week? 

We got our genetic testing results, found out the baby was a boy, and named him (Benjamin David). Still deciding on what kind of memorial(s) we want. The hospital Pregnancy Loss center nurse said the pastoral nurse would do whatever we chose -- a certificate, a private ceremony, etc.

We're still considering planting a tree at my parents' house, or we might have his footprints tattoo'ed. Just don't know yet.  

. 

Right after I ordered a necklace with my babies' names on it, I came across another necklace i really liked that had charms with their footprints.  I forwarded the website to my best friend to show it to her with something along the lines of "of course I would find this right after I ordered a necklace."  Her response I will always remember - "They are YOUR babies.  You're allowed to have more than one necklace, or memorial for them."

My parents asked if we would be alright with them planting three trees at there house - something I hadn't even thought of.  A group of friends sent us three azalea bushes that we'll plant at our house.  And both DH and I have different necklaces that we wear.  If I've learned anything in the past 5 weeks, it's that I'm allowed to do whatever I need to grieve and remember.  

Sorry to be so long - just wanted to say you should do whatever/as many things as you want to remember your precious Benjamin.

I have lots of things to remember Ana...if you guys are looking for necklaces, check out "Held Your Whole Life" on FB...Today only they are giving away free necklaces and keychains. They have your baby's name, date and birthstone or charm! 

Thanks for sharing! I requested a keychain!

hopefulmom88

Have you taken any new steps towards healing this week? Nothing new, still just focusing on my diet and exercise (set a goal to get back to my prepregnancy weight).  Having a goal to focus on has really helped me keep my mind off other things.

What is the next goal you have set for yourself? Do you have a plan to help achieve that goal? No goals just taking it one day at a time and trying to stay positive.

QOTW: Any significant anniversaries/dates coming up? Nope

Open Topic. What is on your mind this week? Just been thinking about trying again and feeling optimistic but yet scared at the same time.  Feeling scatter brained a lot of the time.