Working to pay for daycare

knottie3c0525a8a3c64eaa

I have a 16 month old and work full time. I'm in the beginning of my career and have finally gotten a position in the area I liked to pursue my career. It happened last year when I got back from maternity leave. Ideally, I wouldn't stop working now because I believe it will be hard to get back to the workforce doing what I am doing now with limited experience.
I'm now 10 weeks pregnant. It was a surprise and I'm not sure what to do. I don't think I could be a stay at home mom but if I continue to work, after I pay taxes, health insurance and 401k, my entire salary will go to daycare of two children and we will still have to use some of our savings. We live in the Philadelphia suburbs and daycare can easily cost 15k / year for one child.
What would you do? I'm worried. My husband said I should continue to work. I agree but I feel like it is so wrong to spend all this money on daycare and work not to see a paycheck while someone else watches my kids. Anyone in a similar situation?

AsOctoberFalls

I'm not in your situation, but I do have a question: what would you do for health insurance if you quit your job?  Also, your 401k is no small matter - that's a huge benefit for your future.  Finally, as you mentioned, quitting now could greatly harm your future prospects.

Daycare is a short-term thing.  Sure, you'll have after-school care in the future, but even that is temporary.  The damage to your career if you SAH will be long-lasting.

I have NOTHING against SAH - heck, I wish I could.  But if you don't want to, there are certainly benefits to continuing work even if you're working "just to pay for daycare" right now.

st.augbride

If it would truly cost you everything you earn to use daycare, then I do think I wouldn't work, even if I took the career hit. To me, it just wouldn't be worth it. I would prefer to be with my kids and then take a less great job later and work my way back up, which I fully believe can be done. That said, there are some things to think about first. For instance, what other benefits come with your job that you would lose. Can you guys do without them? Also, at some point your older LO will need preschool which also isn't cheap. Can you afford that while you don't work? If you guys can pull it off, then if I were you, depending on your career, I would.

Nechie122

Like the first PP said, if you want to work, you should work. Health insurance and 401K aren't small things, nor is upward mobility in your career. Eventually you may get a promotion, or your childcare costs will decrease, and then you can look at these years as an investment.

You can also defray part of the cost of daycare either by using an FSA or getting a tax write off at the end of the year. So you're calculating at least part of the cost of daycare using pretax dollars.

You also don't have to decide now; you can revisit this question once you're a working mom of two ... the answer may seem clearer once LO2 arrives.

knottie3c0525a8a3c64eaa

AsOctoberFalls:

I'm not in your situation, but I do have a question: what would you do for health insurance if you quit your job?nbsp; Also, your 401k is no small matter that's a huge benefit for your future.nbsp; Finally, as you mentioned, quitting now could greatly harm your future prospects.Daycare is a shortterm thing.nbsp; Sure, you'll have afterschool care in the future, but even that is temporary.nbsp; The damage to your career if you SAH will be longlasting.I have NOTHING against SAH heck, I wish I could.nbsp; But if you don't want to, there are certainly benefits to continuing work even if you're working "just to pay for daycare" right now.

We could do health insurance through my husband's work but the 401k from my work is outstanding they match up to 10 crazy i know and that's what I have been doing. Plus I'm eligible for a bonus at the end of the year and that would be helpful too. You are right about the damage to the career I guess I need to see this as an investment like someone mentioned, like when you're paying for college and working hard to get somewhere in the future. Thanks for your help.

NavyMom77

It's great to be figuring out your options at this point, but try not to stress too much yet - you have some time to find a solution. I'm due in September with #2 and have been worried about how things will work after maternity leave, but for me the bigger issues were a long commute and a hubby who may be deployed. My company has no work at home policies or part-time positions, so I'd been stressing that it would be stay FT or quit. Quitting scared me for some of the same reasons you mentioned - I don't want to leave the workforce then have to start over again to get where I'm at. I've started talking to my boss about my concerns post-maternity leave while stressing that my first preference is to stay with our company, and she has come back with a variety of proposals that I'd assumed weren't possible (contract work, WFH, PT) and are much better than I would have proposed. Granted, things could always change when the time comes for me to go back, but it looks like there are alternate ways for me to stay connected and keep myself current while also balancing the craziness of next year. I've secured both a part-time and full-time slot for LO at DC so all my bases are covered (the extra reservation fee was worth my peace of mind!) and while I won't be making nearly what I am now, the few hundred $$ I'll bring in PT is more than what I would if I was staying at home and I still get to stay up-to-date.

When you talk about post-maternity plans, raise your concerns but stress what you love about your job and the company, and see if they can come back with a compromise that maybe you haven't considered yet!

rachelbradley44@hotmail.com

Would you ever be interested and able to start an in-home daycare?  That way you don't have the expenses of daycare and can generate income to make up for the loss of benefits.  In my area, I know mothers that have limited their care to just 2-4 extra children because they didn't want a ton of kids.  They charge extra because there are fewer kids, and they're always full because parents are willing to pay for the extra benefits that come with having less children at a daycare. 

I'm not sure what field you're in, but the skills needed to own your own business can translate to many different jobs and can help fill that gap in your resume... Just a thought.  I'm can totally relate to not wanting the setback in your career.  It's tough.

nosoup4u

I work for the same amount of money it costs to pay our nanny. I dunno, I think it's worth it for me, personally.

Is your field something you can take a few years off without it messing up your overall career? Have you considered a nanny share, or finding a SAHM who would be interested in nannying?

knottie3c0525a8a3c64eaa

This is so helpful, thanks guys. You guys are right. And yes, my job does offer a flex spending account. It's a very good point that daycare is temporary, too. Hopefully it won't get too overwhelming but right now it looks to me I should just stay put and suck it up and it will be worth in the long run. Thanks a million for sharing your thoughts

st.augbride

Another thing that I think is good to remember is that you can always quit, but can't always go back once you do. So since it sounds like you are leaning toward working, I'd find daycare for two, keep working, and see how it goes. If it isn't working out financially, then you can always quit.

MamaAllison

I agree with previous posters daycare is temporary and hopefully your career is not! It sucks right but I think the fact that you have healthcare and a great 401k match make it so you are not really just working for daycare! I'm Philly burbs to we are moving to West Chester next week! Where are you?

drpayne

AsOctoberFalls:

I'm not in your situation, but I do have a question: what would you do for health insurance if you quit your job?nbsp; Also, your 401k is no small matter that's a huge benefit for your future.nbsp; Finally, as you mentioned, quitting now could greatly harm your future prospects.Daycare is a shortterm thing.nbsp; Sure, you'll have afterschool care in the future, but even that is temporary.nbsp; The damage to your career if you SAH will be longlasting.I have NOTHING against SAH heck, I wish I could.nbsp; But if you don't want to, there are certainly benefits to continuing work even if you're working "just to pay for daycare" right now.

. All of this.

groovygrl

Pretty much what the others said...the savings thing was a little bit of a red flag for me, but I am wondering, depending on your field of work and your H's, are raises or bonuses things that you can typically expect in the coming years? That could maybe offset the loss in addition to maybe getting promotions of some sort in the next couple of years. I think if the potential of either of you earning more in the next couple years in those ways is there & the potential for you to have a lot of trouble getting back into your field if you leave for several years is there, then I'd keep working. As someone else said, health insurance & retirement are great benefits & important.

knottie3c0525a8a3c64eaa

MamaAllison, we are in Villanova.


groovygrl, good point about the bonuses, both of us normally get one. his at year end, mine at beginning of the following year depending on how our companies perform. It could go back on the savings for sure.

groovygrl

icoelho:

MamaAllison, we are in Villanova. groovygrl, good point about the bonuses, both of us normally get one. his at year end, mine at beginning of the following year depending on how our companies perform. It could go back on the savings for sure.

That is great then...and also great that you have a supportive husband. Have you read Lean In? You might find it helpful.

iverske9

I can understand what you are feeling, but health insurance and 401K are a huge thing for you. Plus it sounds like you will not be able to get back easily into your field? I would most likely stay but I also like to work. Good luck

laurakaz13

I would not jeopardize my career for a few short years or daycare payments.  But I'm someone who loves having a successful career and would never be happy staying home. 

If you take say 5 yrs off, that will be 5 years less of 401K contributions and 5 yrs less of experience.  I just don't think it's worth it in the end. 

I have a few friends who have been SAHM's for several years and are dying to get back into the work force and no one will hire them.  That's a scary thought to me. 

MidwestGidget

laurakaz13:

I have a few friends who have been SAHM's for several years and are dying to get back into the work force and no one will hire them.  That's a scary thought to me. 

All of this. It was hard enough to get my job in the first place. Plus. I've been there for over 5 years. With my tiny yearly raises and COLAs my total salary has grown by 15% from when I started. To leave that to take 5 years off, even if I were to get back immediately, would be to always be 15% behind what I could have been making.

financialdiva

laurakaz13:

I have a few friends who have been SAHM's for several years and are dying to get back into the work force and no one will hire them.  That's a scary thought to me. 

This is one of the main reasons that I have continued working. I a lot of women think they'll be able to easily re-enter the work force, but it is not easy at all.

Another vote to keep working. Can you look into alternative care that might be cheaper? I would also take a hard look at your budget and bills to try to avoid dipping into your savings to get by every month. Even if that means decreasing your 401K contributions. GL to you and please keep us posted!

KL777

Dipping into savings to pay for two in daycare, I agree is a red flag. I personally would SAH, but if you would like to continue to work, I would suggest finding a less expensive childcare situation.

I took 3 years off and didn't have any major difficulty getting back into my field. However, I agree, many women do have challenges trying to get back in after they've been out, which in my opinion, says more about this society (not a very family friendly society) than the women.

cecilyandgautam

I live in DC, which is a higher cost of living area than Philly and I'm going to guess that the 15k/year figure you cite refers to center-based daycares. If that's correct, then I seriously recommend considering a small licensed in-home provider. You may also want to consider shifting your work schedule an hour earlier and DH's an hour later, so you all can use fewer hours of childcare per week without really affecting your employer. 

Mjmksb04

Also, keep in mind that you should be viewing daycare expenses with your DH's and your income combined as a whole, not just coming from your paycheck!

SoMoNY

There is more to compensation that just take home salary.

There is what your firm matches for 401k and even if they don;t match you not working means no ability to put $16k away tax free.

There is lost future earnings, there is no guarantee you'll get a good paying job after sitting out of the work force.  For my industry it would be career suicide.

Also not working = not paying into social security which means less for you when you retire and less for your kids should you pass unexpectedly in the next 2 decades. 

We pay $24k a year for 1 child but its worth it because he gets taught by retired teachers, socialization time and I get the things listed above.

Bella427

I always thought I'd stay home when we had two, because of the cost of daycare (and I secretly always wanted to be a SAHM).  By the time maternity leave was over with #2, I already loved the daycare where both kids would go, loved working and realized I no longer wanted to be a SAHM, even if I didn't bring home much of a paycheck for a while.  If I were you, I'd find daycare for 2 kids and prepare to go back to work.  If you go back to work for a couple of months and can't handle it, you can quit.  It's much easier to quit later than to quit now and change your mind and get your job back.

jf198400

I have 2 kids, 18months apart, DD is almost 3 and DS is 15months.  We also are in Philly suburbs- Bucks county, and have the kids in a center that costs about $2200/month.  I still bring home some money after daycare but dont get insurance or 401k at my job.  It sounds like it's still worth it for you to work with the insurance and 401k.  I know it stinks to feel like youre working and not making anything.  Keep in mind that both you and your DH will probably get some pay increases in the next few years.  I've only gotten COL raises but my DH has gotten substantial raises over the past 5 years.  Also the cost of DC goes down as they get older.  When DS turned 1, it dropped $50/month, its not much, but its something.

Good Luck to you, I know its tough.

IBackBevo

I'm not in the exact same situation as I am not literally going in the hole to work, but after I pay the nanny it is so little that it does not affect our standard of living.  Ultimately, though, I look at it as not just about today, but about what me working now does for my career opportunities down the road.  If I left my career field to SAH, I would have a very hard time getting back in to it.  Instead, not only am I staying in my field, but I am continuing to accrue valuable experience.  If I was actually having to dip into savings to work, I might make a different choice, though.