Thought I was preggers this month but nope! Advice on ways to cope?

ctbee

Hi all,

DH and I are going on month 10 of TTC. This month we both actually thought I was pregnant, but AF came today after being about a week late (not to mention certain symptoms which led us to believe this would be the month).

I know 10 months is not that long and some of you have been TTC for much longer (for those of you who have, I hope I do not sound like a cry baby), but I am so tried of analyzing every little thing happening in my body, of getting my hopes up,  hearing about friends of mine getting pregnant after no time at all, and when AF does come, having everyone tell me it will happen, give it time when its right it will be right, etc. I know in the end it will all be worth it and this is just the baggage that comes along with TTC, but when AF comes I just feel so defeated.

What are some things you all do to cheer yourselves up when another cycle comes to an end and it does not end with a BFP?

scbedi

Wine, wine is good.

If I wasn't on my phone I would post my "the more wine you drink, the more it tastes like love" gif.

mrsrichey11

I second the wine. Add some chocolate too if you're into that. ((hugs))

Durham1008

For starters, I don't say things like preggers. Do you have a diagnosis?

monimu13

Durham1008:

For starters, I don't say things like preggers. Do you have a diagnosis?

Yep, this. 

katib77

Rumbera28:

Agreed! You can never go wrong with wine and chocolate!.OP, I'm sorry that you're feeling down. nbsp; I'm going to give you some advice that was given to me that really did work for me.First, don't try to be 'strong'.nbsp;nbsp; Go ahead and have a good, cleansing ugly cry if you need to.nbsp; Kick something after that.nbsp;nbsp; Then....After the crying is out, get some serious, heart pumping, sweaty exercise nbsp; DAILY.nbsp; When a nurse told me that years ago after a mc, I wanted to punch her in her face for telling me that.nbsp; I ain't no exercise nut! The thing is, she was 100 right. Vigorous movement fights depression and keeps your mind occupied.nbsp; Not only will you feel more optimistic and in control, you will also become healthier and thus an even better candidate for pregnancy not to mention hawt.I have spent a long time on the IF 2 week merrygoround of hope and devastation.nbsp; I had to find other outlets that can give me a sense of anticipation and joy.nbsp;nbsp; Find something you love to do that gets you out of your head and go for it.I hope that this helps.... good luck! nbsp;nbsp;

thisis great advice. after four years tcc I've learned you really need to live life to the fullest no matter what your family ttc situation...whatever that looks like for you. plus, you have not hit a year so remember there are plenty that still get KU in the next few months. don't worry, until therr is something to worry about. mobile bumbing, please excuse.

ctbee

Thanks Ladies. I appreciate you all taking the time to read and respond. Great advice (esp. Rumbera28).

My doctor recently gave DH and me the go-ahead to look into visiting a fertility specialist, so we are both going to get tested. I had a blood test a month ago and everything came back fine. The not knowing if there is a real serious problem has been difficult--it will be nice to find out. 

supermorena

I agree with everything that has been said so far, especially the crying and the wine parts! And just to add my 2 cents, I think the hardest time was right about where you are: you've been at it for almost a year, but haven't quite started to see a doctor, etc. We're 15 months in, and not that it's easier by any means, and I still have no clue why it's not happening for us, but now that we've gone through testing and put a plan in place as to our next steps, I feel slightly less anxious. I'm sure the feeling of calm won't last very long, but it's a relief from the constant crying a few months ago, so I'll take it! Good luck to you!

GermanGirl2007

Are you temping? Charting? I agree with the advice several other ladies gave, and I do remember the 9-12 month range being really challenging because I was starting to wonder if something was wrong.  That said, if you are just going into month 10, that means you still have a few months in which it could happen naturally. My best advice is to not borrow trouble. (Easier said than done, I know).  

Sometimes it can be difficult to get in to an RE, so it wouldn't hurt to start looking now and try to get an appointment. worst (and also best) case scenario - you cancel it if you wind up KU before then.  Also, in your last post you mentioned going to a fertility specialist - please make sure that if you do need to make an appointment that you see an RE. Many people think that a fertility specialist and an RE are the same thing.  Unfortunately, they are not, and you will get much better advice and guidance from an RE who has specialized education and credentials in dealing with infertility issues and getting women pregnant. GL!

JuneBug629

You read my mind, I feel the same way! We have been at it about the same time. The roller coaster of period, symptoms, and frustrations is hard. Good luck! Thank you to the other ladies for the great advice! 

GIJoLana

I wanted to post that I successfully conceived and am now the mother to an 8 month old boy after 2 years of TTC and having NO diagnosis or "problem". What I am about to tell you won't help you if you have medical conditions that keep you from conceiving, but if no issues have been found, this can help. I was overweight and told if I lost even 5lbs it could boost my fertility and the same is true in the opposite direction, if underweight, gain 5 to 10 lbs. When I was told this, my husband lost his job and insurance a few weeks later so we stopped trying. We weren't using any BC because I hadn't gotten pregnant in close to 2 years without using anything. This was around June. That following January I had come to terms that I could be ok not being a mom, as depressing as it was, I just felt I had to let go and stop stressing. If God wanted it to happen, it would. My New Year Resolution was to work out 5x a week, hardcore. I thought that if I can't have a baby and can't control my fertility maybe I could have control over my weight. It had sky rocketed up to almost 300 from all my stress and dealing with my Fibromyalgia. I lost 11 lbs that month and by March 4 had a positive test, even though I was convinced I could not be pregnant. I honestly feel that the weight loss, stress relieving workouts, and not trying and just letting it up to the mighty guy above, is what finally worked. Try this, get rid of your stress, it's AMAZING how it affects your body and sometimes you don't even realize you are stressing. I have heard over and over again that when people stop trying to plan everything perfectly and just live life and not stress, that is when it happens! It did for me. I hope this helps and that you can have your little miracle! I have such a heart for women TTC, I know how much it hurts! I'll be praying for you, just remember, you are a great person and did nothing to have this issue, it's not your fault. HUGS!

Durham1008

GIJoLana:

I wanted to post that I successfully conceived and am now the mother to an 8 month old boy after 2 years of TTC and having NO diagnosis or "problem". What I am about to tell you won't help you if you have medical conditions that keep you from conceiving, but if no issues have been found, this can help. I was overweight and told if I lost even 5lbs it could boost my fertility and the same is true in the opposite direction, if underweight, gain 5 to 10 lbs. When I was told this, my husband lost his job and insurance a few weeks later so we stopped trying. We weren't using any BC because I hadn't gotten pregnant in close to 2 years without using anything. This was around June. That following January I had come to terms that I could be ok not being a mom, as depressing as it was, I just felt I had to let go and stop stressing. If God wanted it to happen, it would. My New Year Resolution was to work out 5x a week, hardcore. I thought that if I can't have a baby and can't control my fertility maybe I could have control over my weight. It had sky rocketed up to almost 300 from all my stress and dealing with my Fibromyalgia. I lost 11 lbs that month and by March 4 had a positive test, even though I was convinced I could not be pregnant. I honestly feel that the weight loss, stress relieving workouts, and not trying and just letting it up to the mighty guy above, is what finally worked. Try this, get rid of your stress, it's AMAZING how it affects your body and sometimes you don't even realize you are stressing. I have heard over and over again that when people stop trying to plan everything perfectly and just live life and not stress, that is when it happens! It did for me. I hope this helps and that you can have your little miracle! I have such a heart for women TTC, I know how much it hurts! I'll be praying for you, just remember, you are a great person and did nothing to have this issue, it's not your fault. HUGS!

You can get lost.

Twinkie0612

GIJoLana:

I wanted to post that I successfully conceived and am now the mother to an 8 month old boy after 2 years of TTC and having NO diagnosis or "problem". What I am about to tell you won't help you if you have medical conditions that keep you from conceiving, but if no issues have been found, this can help. I was overweight and told if I lost even 5lbs it could boost my fertility and the same is true in the opposite direction, if underweight, gain 5 to 10 lbs. When I was told this, my husband lost his job and insurance a few weeks later so we stopped trying. We weren't using any BC because I hadn't gotten pregnant in close to 2 years without using anything. This was around June. That following January I had come to terms that I could be ok not being a mom, as depressing as it was, I just felt I had to let go and stop stressing. If God wanted it to happen, it would. My New Year Resolution was to work out 5x a week, hardcore. I thought that if I can't have a baby and can't control my fertility maybe I could have control over my weight. It had sky rocketed up to almost 300 from all my stress and dealing with my Fibromyalgia. I lost 11 lbs that month and by March 4 had a positive test, even though I was convinced I could not be pregnant. I honestly feel that the weight loss, stress relieving workouts, and not trying and just letting it up to the mighty guy above, is what finally worked. Try this, get rid of your stress, it's AMAZING how it affects your body and sometimes you don't even realize you are stressing. I have heard over and over again that when people stop trying to plan everything perfectly and just live life and not stress, that is when it happens! It did for me. I hope this helps and that you can have your little miracle! I have such a heart for women TTC, I know how much it hurts! I'll be praying for you, just remember, you are a great person and did nothing to have this issue, it's not your fault. HUGS!

Wow people never cease to amaze me.  You really thought that you should go onto a message board and tell women struggling with IF that they should gain/lose weight and relax and then they'll get pregnant?

FYI, my RE gives a handout in his new patient packet explaining that except for rare cases of annovulation, stress does not cause IF.  Also my BMI is normal, should I gain or lose weight?

Thanks for the "advice" don't let the door hit you on your way out!