Coping with secondary IF

reynar

I never thought I would find myself on a board like this, but I guess none of us do.

Here is my story - I am 35. I have a 4 year old daughter who was conceived pretty much accidentally, so we never really thought about the second being a problem. We put off another child for awhile due to other things, so this year, when we decided to start trying, we thought it would come pretty quick. It hasn't. First we were felled by a major UTI so we missed a month, then my husband was gone for two months and since then, I have had 4 chemical pregnancies, the latest being a few days ago.

I am working with a great doctor who is very into alternative therapies and ideas and I am confident that he will try anything to help me, but it's hard to stay positive. I have never wanted anything so badly in my life and it's getting harder and harder to get through the disappointment. How do you do it? How do you keep going? Some days I feel like I could cry forever. I just want to be happy again!

Thanks for listening. 

slstine19

I understand your disappointment.  It took us a while to conceive our son.  I thought that it would never happen so it was less disappointing.  Then when we did get pregnant I didn't want to get too excited in case something happened.  I felt like I just went through the motions to say that at least I tried.  This time around I am a little more hopeful unfortunately since starting to go to the RE we have had 3 months cancelled b/c it seems like they always need to do 1 more thing.  I guess the best advice I can give you is stay patient which is easier said then done.  Hopefully you will find others that understand what you are going through here so you can discuss it with them and feel better when you get it off your chest.

tryingyetagain

I'm so sorry you have gone through all of that.  Having repeated losses is such a roller coaster of emotions.  I've had four losses myself, and it's rough.  I hope your doctor is running tests to try to figure out if there is something causing the CPs (clotting disorder, thyroid, genetic, uterine septum, etc.).  Some of these things can be easily fixed.

Good luck to you, and I hope your stay here is short!

MJC1116

I just wanted to say welcome and I'm so sorry for everything you've gone through. I completely understand your point of view. My daughter was conceived  so easily, so naturally I thought the same would happen again the second time around. 2IF is very crushing. The disappointment is so all-consuming sometimes. You'll find this board to be a great way to deal with it, though. 

doublefiesta

I'm so sorry you're going through this. We conceived our DD naturally but it took two IUIs to conceive our 2nd LO. We'd been trying for over a year when we finally saw our RE, after 6 rounds of clomid and one MC.

Bc we had unexplained IF with great sperm count and ovarian reserve, I just knew we were going to be parents again. I never doubted it, even when it seemed like everyone around me was getting pregnant (my sister, SIL, neighbor, several friends). Being sad does not help anything!

Is your doctor an RE? Have you and DH had a workup done? I have a lot of respect for alternative medicine, and would have started acupuncture if IUI#2 had failed. But 4 chemical pregnancies is a lot, I feel like it should indicate something.

I was on injectables for our two IUIs. The whole regimen of constant ultrasounds and daily shots made me feel like I was really doing everything possible to make a baby.

If you have the time it couldn't hurt to find a RESOLVE support group near you. Good luck!