How often do you flirt with denial?

august06mom

I do at least once a day. I find myself doubting his (albeit borderline at the moment) diagnosis. His ST told us that she doesn't think he'll even need services by kindergarten and I was overjoyed. Of course, everything I've read on here and elsewhere makes that seem very doubtful, but it was nice to hear.

pastalady

Right now, almost every day! DD has ASD. Recently she has tested as not having any delays anymore for speech, ot and very little behavioural issues. She still has autism, I know that but I do wonder if she may out grow the diagnosis. Like what happens when she is not needing any services and she is in a typical school setting. She may not have great eye contact, she may lecture people and talk on and on about her current interest obsession. But will she still have autism if that is the case? 

 

She also has a gifted educational code and there is a lot of stuff out there about gifted kids being misdiagnosed. I just don't know. She still hand flaps, she still has bad eye contact. I know those are autism traits.

 

Her current team tells me she will out grow the diagnosis. I don't know if they are helping by saying this. I just don't know. It does seem like there are more and more kids getting early intervention that are outgrowing the diagnosis of autism. Then I hear from a coworker how she had global delays and didn't potty train until 6. She is totally a typical adult now, has a family and a career. I just get confused. Are we quick to label kids anywhere outside the curve as special needs? I just don't know. 

MirandaHobbes

Ooof. I used to quite often. I also had an EI teacher pull me aside and nervously tell me: "I shouldn't say this.. but DS is the highest functioning kid I've seen. I think he's going to be fine. Usually at least one of the kids in each year's group seems to "age-out" of services by kindy." I took that one with me up until kindy and was shocked to found out it was NOT my son who is the one who aged out- it was another little boy in his ASD class. I sortof wish I had never heard that comment.

It hasn't been until now (DS is 5, about to start kindy) that my denial has pretty much gone away. I have no idea how DS will fare in school, academically or socially, but for now it is clear that he needs an accomodation to be successfull in kindergarten. My realization hit home while I volunteered during his Sunday School class.  A large class of typical kids that DS didn't know and a teacher who isn't used to dealing with autistic children. Yikes. Or when I picked up DS from vacation bible school and I was told casually that "DS didn't really participate at all today" and that they let him hang out in the church offices the whole morning... it just hurt my heart that (1) DS wasn't able/interested in joining the kids and (2) the seemingly well managed VBS program couldn't have tried some other tactic to get him involved other than letting him play with the adults all morning. 

It's so.hard but you just have to wait and see what'll happen- as I hear often, I have days that go by when I don't even think about autism, and other days it comes back with a vengance!

d.f

I was in denial until the psych actually spoke the words of the diagnosis (PDD-NOS).  Then I started reading up on ASD's seriously and it fits.  I have no doubt he is autistic.

However, sometimes I wonder if I am in denial about my expectations.  Most of the time I don't expect that his future will be significantly limited.  He has been in a general Ed preschool with integrated services and next year he'll be in a general Ed classroom 92% of the time and pull out services the remaining 8%.  I fully expect that we (our whole team) will be able to give him the tools and skill to do what ever he wants in life.    Sometimes I wonder if I'm looking out through ros? colored glasses.  Sometimes I think I'm spot on because he has demonstrated that he can progress rapidly.  I'm trying to prepare myself but I have a feeling the widening gap over the next several years is going to be more difficult than I'm expecting.

pastalady

d.f:

I was in denial until the psych actually spoke the words of the diagnosis (PDD-NOS).  Then I started reading up on ASD's seriously and it fits.  I have no doubt he is autistic.

However, sometimes I wonder if I am in denial about my expectations.  Most of the time I don't expect that his future will be significantly limited.  He has been in a general Ed preschool with integrated services and next year he'll be in a general Ed classroom 92% of the time and pull out services the remaining 8%.  I fully expect that we (our whole team) will be able to give him the tools and skill to do what ever he wants in life.    Sometimes I wonder if I'm looking out through ros? colored glasses.  Sometimes I think I'm spot on because he has demonstrated that he can progress rapidly.  I'm trying to prepare myself but I have a feeling the widening gap over the next several years is going to be more difficult than I'm expecting.

exactly the last sentence. Right now at having just turned 4 it's easy to look at 3 and 4 year olds and not see much difference between typical and DD. however, I know at 7,8,9 the gap is going to grow. I am trying to prepare myself for that.  

august06mom

DS2 loves music -- he clearly has an ear for it and is able to scarily keep a beat and identify different instruments. DH (who plays music) loves to say, "He'll just be a musician -- they're all weird anyway!"

lite-bright

Here and there. I think I tend to have a lot of anxiety about the autism dx anyway, so that balances out any tendency toward denial. :P

She's just so GOOD. She's well-behaved, incredibly polite, adults and older kids think she's adorable, she's academically on-track or advanced, and I hear so often, "I never would've guessed she has autism."

But then I also see that she really doesn't have friends. I mean, she gets along fine in the classroom and in casual play, but reciprocal friendships where she is requesting someone's company and/or they are requesting hers? I don't really see them, and it breaks my heart and makes me think that the tween/teen years are going to be absolute hell. 

funchicken

I feel like instead of denial, I'm waiting for the other shoe to drop.  We were concerned about HFA with DD1, but the diagnosis from the dev. pedi was ADHD, and a confirmation of the SPD that our OT diagnosed.  I go back and forth--some days I feel like ADHD makes sense, other days I worry that that's not the whole story.  DD2 is NT, so I see the differences.   

malcivar

I used to do it pretty much daily before when Chris was in EI and he was blowing through all his programs but now as the gap is getting bigger and bigger with his peers and everything's much more 'noticeable', not so much.  

Now I feel like I'm falling into the trap of going too far the other way, where I think I'm being more realistic in my expectations but am afraid that maybe I'm maybe not believing in him as much as I could/should.  

It's hard as they get older - it's very easy for ASD to 'hide' when they're so small because you justify it to yourself with 'all babies develop at their own pace' but once they're not 'babies' anymore, it's harder and harder to justify but not easier to accept.