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What was harder?
I have a 7 month old, and for me, breastfeeding has been MUCH harder than the labor and delivery. A few qualifiers, I had a short labor with only 15 minutes of pushing, I got an epidural, and some minor tearing. Breastfeeding has been tougher for me because there was a lot of pain in the beginning and frustration with us both learning how to make it work. DH makes fun of me because I didn't cry during delivery, but I did from the pain of trying to feed DS for the first few weeks. I've had consistent supply issues and had to supplement, but I'm committed to still providing at least half of his nutrition through BF for the first year. Honestly, I enjoy some things about it, but I'll be relieved when it's over and I can have my body and that aspect of freedom back.
So, in your opinion, what was harder, labor and delivery or breastfeeding? And if you have more than one child, does it vary by child?
So, in your opinion, what was harder, labor and delivery or breastfeeding? And if you have more than one child, does it vary by child?
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Re: What was harder?
With my first - BFing, for sure. I had an easy pregnancy and a pretty easy delivery (drug free, but pretty quick and my tear healed quickly). I passed out several times after delivery, though, and that made BFing really hard from the beginning. I'd basically pass out every time I tried to nurse him. We struggled with weight gain, supply, and more importantly with my crazy emotions. I did go on to BF him for a year (with some supplementation) but the first couple of months were HARD. I didn't have physical pain but the emotional part was so, so taxing.
With this one, BFing started out much smoother from the beginning. And I'm lucky that I had another easy pregnancy and L&D. We haven't had any feeding issues. My supply is mediocre, so I'm sure I will probably need to supplement in a couple months (maybe, maybe not) but I'm okay with that and I'm much more relaxed about everything this time around.
Breastfeeding. I ended up EPing (for 11 months now...) and it sucks the big one.
As a FTM, I was in labor for 6 hours; from the time the Pitocin was pumped through to the time I pushed him out. It took me about 10 minutes to push.
SCANDAL!
I had a very positive BF experience and my actual labor was super quick. I do remember my delivery being somewhat difficult, though (two hours of pushing, two vaccuum attempts, an episiotomy and I felt myself tear).
I'm sorry you're having such a tough time with the BF!
Well, my delivery was particularly hellish so that was certainly harder (I'm demanding a c-section for my next one).
Breastfeeding was terrible too. I did it for three weeks and then my nipples started bleeding so I called it quits. Honestly, doing so made me a better mother. I dreaded, and I mean, DREADED feeding my baby and every time she cried I became anxious because I knew I would be in pain. Once we switched to formula, my anxiety eased and I actually began to enjoy her.
Personally, I think breastfeeding and the benefits thereof are overrated. Sure, it's best, but that doesn't make formula the worst. There's a tremendous amount of pressure put on women to breastfeed. I felt it and it made me feel terrible about wanting to stop. I remember being at the pediatrician and thinking how much I wanted her to tell me that my baby wasn't gaining enough weight and that I had to switch to formula. THAT's how much I hated it and how guilty I initially felt.
Anyway, long rant but to actually answer your question: Breastfeeding sucked for me, but L&D was worse.
My labor wasn't bad until the epidural wore off before pushing. But that was just an hour of intense pain, compared to the first several weeks of BFing. And I would say I had an easier time than most with BFing. My nipples were sore and DS nursed a LOT since he wouldn't take a paci but after the first couple months it really wasn't bad.
I guess because labor was over more quickly that I'd say it was easier although pushing without drugs was the worst pain I've ever felt in my entire life.
The bumpie formerly known as First Time in MI
I had an easy delivery - I had an induction and was in labor for 12 hours, but epidurals are awesome. I pushed for about 15 minutes. No complications whatsoever.
Breastfeeding, I LOATHED! I quit after two weeks. Poor supply, bleeding and draining nipples, and James lost too much weight. Honestly, I will never BF again it was that rough of an experience. I cried before every feeding in anticipation of the pain that I knew was coming. Pumping was even worse. I'd get about an ounce out of 20 minutes on each side.
My BF'ing failure though was the start of a bout with PPD for me. I think it is NOT a natural process for some ladies and babies, and that reading The Womanly Art of Breastfeeding was the worst thing that I did. I felt totally unprepared for the REAL experience that can be BF'ing, and like a total failure when it didn't work out.
Started fertility treatments 11/2010
Ovarian dysfunction, LPD, male factor
6 failed medicated IUI's
Pregnant 5/2011 - Miscarriage at 6 weeks due to triploidy
Decided to adopt - 6/2012
SURPRISE! Pregnant without intervention - 7/2012
Sweet Baby James Born 3/2013
Decided to be "One and Done"
....OR NOT.
Pregnant 12/2018 despite birth control pills
Here we go again...
Due 8/26/19!
Labor for sure. My total labor from start to finish was maybe 12 hours, with only about 4 of that being more than just annoying period-like cramps. I got to the hospital 6cm dilated and was only there 40 minutes before LO was born. I think I pushed for maybe 20 minutes?
Breastfeeding was hard. I never expected it to be so hard and when I went back to work pumping sucked. I loathed it. Once she hit her 4 month growth spurt I wasn't keeping up supply wise so I had to start supplementing. I cried when I gave her that first formula bottle. I felt like such a failure. Luckily I am over that now and she is thriving on formula and a much happier baby. I wish I could have made it longer but it just wasn't meant to be I guess.
L&D. BF'ing wasn't hard, it was near impossible. DD1 tore up my nipples and was never satisfied. DD2 didn't hurt at all, but I never produced more than two ounces. DD1 got like two weeks, DD2 eight, and my BM was the supplement to the formula. BF for me was my quiet time with DDs, but it didn't last.
Well, with my first I would say delivery b/c he was an emergency c-section. It was very scary and the recovery was painful. I tried to BF him, but he would never latch. So, it was emotionally difficult, but not physically.
With DS2, I would say BF for sure. He was a RCS and it was a breeze. He was my first successful BF experience and it was so painful for the first month or so.
I'm going to go with L & D was harder. 32 hours of labor with 3+ hours of pushing. Just no. It was the worst thing ever. Plus, I tore pretty badly and still have some pain DTD even 7.5 months PP.
BFing has worked well for us so far. It took a few days of struggling with the latch, but after that we didn't have issues. I've had a lower supply lately, but I've rebounded a bit and we're still doing fine. I hope to BF for 1-2 years.
Breastfeeding was super easy.
Labor wasn't bad. I slept through it and woke up when it was time to push.
Delivery however was a nightmare. Forceps + vacuum = multiple internal tears, severe perineum tear and the worst pain you can imagine. The epi had worn off and I could feel all the tearing and instruments inside of me. I literally had nightmares about the delivery for months afterward.
Both were equally hard for me I think. I was induced and in labor for a long time (had back labor, epidural wore off on one side, baby was OP, pushed for hours, and it ended in a section) and then breastfeeding didn't work out because of supply issues that I tried to right for about 12 weeks by pumping whenever I could and taking a bunch of supplements. We FF now.
So, yeah, I'm going for both as my answer.
BFing was harder in the long run because of how much stress it caused us all, and how difficult it was ... many issues from not latching in the beginning, lack of supply due to various factors, baby not gaining enough weight, having to cut out dairy due to sensitivity, having to work from home full time and taking no maternity leave... on and on and on and on. I set myself up for failure with BFing, never established it well enough and we only lasted 2.5 - 3 months. It sucked and I hated every minute of it... it was only when we switched to formula that I could finally enjoy my son and enjoy motherhood.
Delivery was easy pain-wise, I never got to really feel REAL painful contractions because they placed the epidural pretty early with the anticipation of a possible C-section. Baby's HR kept decelerating with my contractions so it was scary most of the time, with the nurses rushing around me and flopping me around and shoving oxygen at me and having to put all kinds of things in there (monitor, line to put fluid in, shots to calm my contractions). I was very lucky that my body worked as quickly and efficiently as it did, and I missed the C-section by a hair ...turned out the chord was around his neck twice. So ...pain-wise and time-wise it really was not hard, but it was intense and stressful too.
BFing still sucked worse I think.
For me, it was easier to deliver. I had an easy pregnancy, and the delivery was NOTHING compared to the gallbladder attacks I was having right before (which caused them to induce at just prior to 39 weeks.) I was already about 4cm dilated and pretty well effaced. The only trouble I had was that the epi kept wearing off and they had to keep adding to it.
BF was a challenge because even though DD had a good latch, she couldn't suck effectively. But we didn't realize that until later. I had the lactation support at the hospital and after we went home I went to a BF support group. They kept telling me she was eating fine, latching well, etc. She was so fussy and kept having dry (crystals) diapers. We ended up supplementing and pumping. I had NO supply, which now I think is due more to the feeding issues. We figured out later that she was having a hard time moving her tongue around properly to suck when we had to go immediately to fast flow nipples and she struggled with solids.
To make that worse, my OB make me feel like poo for supplementing with formula. She acted like I hadn't really tried and wouldn't really talk to me after she found out--just strictly business, no more friendly conversation. At least our pedi was better. She said, "The kid's got to eat. Keep pumping and trying to nurse, but give her formula too. She'll be fine." The emotional drain was worse than anything--feeling like I was failing her or I wasn't trying hard enough.
My L&D was pretty textbook...arrived at birth center around 3 AM (probably too early in retrospect), had baby at 4:20 PM. And BF was, overall, a great experience for me. The first 3 weeks or so were painful on and off, but after that it got much better. If I could have just kept EBF and not had to go back to work and pump, I'm pretty sure I would have had close to zero issues. As it was, I did struggle with supply issues and took Domperidone for several months to keep my supply up. I started switching him to WCM during the day after he turned 1, and then was able to wean myself from the pump. After that he started to drop nursing sessions on his own until we were down to just right before bed, which he stopped on his own around 20 months. I was really sad about it for awhile, I was hoping he would want to stick with it at least until he was 2. I still kind of miss that quiet, snuggly time together.
Wow, that was kind of a tangent. Anyway...I would say that L&D was easier overall because it was much more time-limited, and because of my experience with pumping and supply issues. But even though it had its ups and downs I found BF to be VERY rewarding and am so glad that I stuck with it.
If you want to increase your supply, Domperidone might be worth a try...it worked great for me.
This. I can bond with my kids in other ways, bf'ing sucks IMO.