Sleep Advice?
SGC29
member
I'm wondering if anyone can offer any advice in regards to the situation we have with our 10 month old. Sorry in advance, this may be quite long.
First off, he is fully BF (has only had a pumped bottle a handful of times ever, does not like them). We bed share and have been doing so since 4 months old when he stopped sleeping all together suddenly. Since then he has been waking every single night to eat every 2-3 hours. Some nights (like two nights ago), he was waking every 30-45 minutes crying. Our pediatrician says that he nurses more so out of habit at this point than hunger, yet still...he wakes, and eats.
He naps in my arms and will not nap anywhere else. He will occasionally sleep in his car seat while driving, and that is the only other place we can get him to nap. If we put him in his crib he immediately starts screaming until he is literally gagging and gasping. We are not fans of CIO but we have attempted the Ferber method out of shear exhaustion and desperation. It did not work. He can cry for hours on end, no end in sight. When we finally give in and get him he will shake until he falls asleep.
I am at a total loss. We are so tired, and I am at the point where I just do not know what to do anymore. My first child (now almost 3) never experienced anything like this so this is completely new territory for me. I am desperate to help my son and also desperate to sleep for more than 2 hours.
Help?
Re: Sleep Advice?
Personally I would work on getting him out of your bed and in the crib. I have nothing against bed-sharing, but sleep training is much easier if he has his own space. There are several alternative methods instead of CIO, so maybe another one, like No Cry Sleep Solution, would be more effective.
Whichever approach you decide on- the first week or so is always the hardest. Keep at it and don't get discouraged if there's still a lot of crying the first few days. If you are consistent in how you respond, one day it WILL click and you will be amazed at the difference. We did use CIO and the first 3 days he cried almost 2 hours, then the next two days was only 30 minutes, then 10 minutes, and now we are down to only 5 minutes of fussing. It is rough to get started, but so worth it to have a well-rested family! Good luck.
We've been down a very similar road here. DS slept 8-10 hours until he was 4 months old. It then turned into waking every 2. We've had nights of him being up every hour, but I think those are teething related. So first of all, are you dealing with teeth? Motrin before bed helped us when we knew that's what was bothering him.
We went from bassinet next to the bed to full on bed sharing at 4 months because we finally figured out the wonders of side lying nursing. Now, we have our mattress on the floor with DS's crib mattress right next to it. It's easy for middle of the night nursing, but not so easy for getting him to stay in bed until he falls asleep.
We've tried various No Cry techniques and they always resulted in more crying. It finally starting working during this most recent round (11 months), because I think he's finally ready. I've finally been able to lay him down drowsy and have him fall asleep on his own, and I can get him to drowsy just by holding him, not needing to rock. He's given me several 8 hour nights for the first time in 7 months.
My husband has been "helping" by rocking him to sleep recently, as I've been out during bed time. That means that I just spent an hour helping DS stay in bed laying down until he finally fell asleep tonight. In all fairness, I think he was too hot as he was much calmer when I took the sleep sack off. After DH rocked him last night, he woke up two hours later and cried until I finally got home and nursed him down and he woke up several times last night. I hope the fact that he finally did fall asleep on his own tonight will help him sleep better.
I hope it helps to know you're not alone taking this route, and that they can learn to sleep better even with BF and bed sharing. It may take longer, and like pp said, consistency is key no matter what you're doing to help them sleep. Try to separate nursing from falling asleep. Give your baby space to flop around and try to get comfortable and get back to sleep on their own (whether that means a crib, their own mattress on the floor, or enough space to turn over in your bed). You will get to sleep again. Eventually.