52 1/2 hours out of 1,220! DH talked to atty

Pamelacake

I got a little bored yesterday and was going through the documentation... I though it was a lot to go through and mostly broken promises from BM to SD's and lots of fighting between DH and BM. So.. I just made a log of what days she was supposed to have them, backed out last minute or just didn't show up on a planned visit..

The longest point in between not seeing SD's at all was 99 days in between an 8 1/2 hour visit and a 2 1/2 hour visit.

I took it a little further and figured up the hours of available parenting time to BM, Not including time that was offered that wasn't hers.

BM has seen SD's a total of 5 times since the c/o was put into effect in November of 2012.

BM has has SD's a grand total of 52 1/2 hours out of 1,220 of just her PT.. NOT including extra time offered that BM declined.

DH wasn't on the phone with the attorney very long but he did tell him about the hours and the attorney was shocked. It's probably because BM calls so much to fight.. the attorney already has all of that documentation... I figured if I just broke it down to the main point maybe it would be easier for the court to make their decision.

The attorney said he would be mailing DH papers for court for Supervised visitation as well as a court date for C/S right away but I think we all know it's just going to be a huge waiting game.

BM hasn't seen SD's in a month which isn't unusual at all. BM now wants SD's for the 4th. just from that afternoon until 11pm that evening. In our state no exchange is to made after 11pm unless it is an emergency.

Still no word from CPS so trying to come up with a way of not allowing the visit.. DH could always get a no contact order on BM's boyfriend whom I have on recording saying "I just wanna bash Daddy's skull in" DH doesn't want to do that but if it comes down to it.... IDK. BF is BM's way to pick up since she can't drive.

I'm torn b/c I know SD's want to see BM but on a regular basis.. Not just when BM wants to show them off at a party. And we definitely want SD's to be safe! 

 

 

twister22

Is BM CO'd time on the 4th? If she isn't I don't see what the problem is.

If so, what is the p/u time supposed to be? And how long to you have to wait after a scheduled p/u to refuse visitation? Our CO says something like "If BD is more than 30 minutes late, BD's visit is forfeited at twister's discretion."

And does BM ride with BF for p/u? Or is it just BF? And do you have to give SD's over to BF? Thankfully, our CO says something like "Twister or her designee is to p/u DS at the start of her parenting time, and BD is to p/u DS at the start of his." Of course, I am reasonable if someone else wants to do p/u - i.e. I have let BD's sister and mom, but I said no when BD tried to say he was going to have his GF of the week, who had never met DS, p/u DS and babysit him for 16 hours before BD would be there.

Pamelacake

twister22:

Is BM CO'd time on the 4th? If she isn't I don't see what the problem is.

If so, what is the p/u time supposed to be? And how long to you have to wait after a scheduled p/u to refuse visitation? Our CO says something like "If BD is more than 30 minutes late, BD's visit is forfeited at twister's discretion."

And does BM ride with BF for p/u? Or is it just BF? And do you have to give SD's over to BF? Thankfully, our CO says something like "Twister or her designee is to p/u DS at the start of her parenting time, and BD is to p/u DS at the start of his." Of course, I am reasonable if someone else wants to do p/u - i.e. I have let BD's sister and mom, but I said no when BD tried to say he was going to have his GF of the week, who had never met DS, p/u DS and babysit him for 16 hours before BD would be there.

It is her holiday it the PTG. We haven't been wanting to send them since the "yucky pill" incident were they had to be rushed to the hospital. So not trying to be a B about it. SD's don't want to go either, but at the same time.. I know they miss their mom. They say they aren't safe with BM. but there is nothing we can do about that at this point. So since that incident we have been trying to detour (for lack of a better term) any overnight visit.

It isn't even specified in the C/O that BM can't drive herself to pickup even though she carries a DL it's isn't valid as she is legally blind. BM has not once utilized a full visit. I really don't understand how BM got unsupervised visitation in the first place as there is a list of things in the PTG that are reasons for not having overnights or unsupervised and BM fits the quota in a few of the categories.

This is her 5th BF since the C/O and her 5th or 6th residence. With the BF driving to pickup.. we haven't had an issue with it until that incident on the phone. BM has threatened to break into our home and slit our throats while we were sleeping and everything else.. all while just calling to fight.. not asking about, asking to talk to, or even trying to see SD's. BF has not been to our residence since that threatening call although DH has taken no legal action.

DH's court order is very vague. It just says to follow the PTG. The PTG says the visit can be terminated if BM is more than 30 minutes late. We didn't do that in the past.. BM has been allowed to pick up Saturday morning instead of Friday evening. BM has admitted to being at the bar every Friday evening bc her bf works there. With BM's history of leaving the children alone, we thought it would be safer that way. So when BM would ask for Saturday instead of Friday.. DH would usually comply but BM would usually back out with another lame excuse anyways. BM is now seen at the bar both Friday and Saturdays. even when she is supposed to have SD's, even though BM was sick or whatever lame excuse she had for not getting them.

BM wants SD's for the fourth to take SD's to a party. Definitely not comfortable with that.. although BM has been told in the past she doesn't need to say what her plans are on her time.. she does this anyways.  BM's visit starts before the 4th. so I don't think it will be that big of a deal to keep them.. BM wants to drop SD's off at 11pm on the 4th and pick SD's back up the next day. In the PTG.. No exchange is to be  made after 10pm and anything after that would have to be an emergency. BM thinks DH is just being an @$$ when she doesn't get the times she wants. BM only likes to be a "show mom" a term I have seen on here.

BM takes a lot of medications and I'm not downing anyone who does but she takes more than supposed to and is always messed up. DH was told to use that to keep SD's here if he had to. Or if she is drunk or anything like that.