Please don't chew me out for posting this here !

MommyP26

Dh and I have been together 4 years married 1 year have 2 kids . We have had so many big arguments and we talk through them make up and everything is perfect for 3 days or so and then he goes back to being the he was . I just don't understand why it's the same damn thing with him ! I make changes and changes and it seems like I'm just trying for nothing . I really feel like we have no relationship what so ever . He goes to work comes home gets on his Xbox and ignores me and his kids . The only time he wants to bother me is when he wants some , I just feel like I can't do it any more ... So what do I do ??

tracy41

You do realize that as this is the single parents board every one of us who has been where you're at has ended up divorced right? Mobile smiley.

 

Major communication issues usually require counseling to solve. If you're religious you can go through your church and do a couples retreat, but I always enjoyed speaking to a professional psychologist. And know that although you working on it alone can make some changes if he doesn't want to get involved its going to be hard to get anywhere. GL.

ETA: Hope that doesn't count as chewing you out for posting this here! I was on mobile earlier and could only see "Please don't chew me out..." which struck me as odd but I thought maybe you were overly sensitive! LOL

ChuggingWater

Counseling.

Runaway22

ChuggingWater:

Counseling.

This. 

MommyP26

tracy41:

You do realize that as this is the single parents board every one of us who has been where you're at has ended up divorced right? Mobile smiley.

nbsp;Major communication issues usually require counseling to solve. If you're religious you can go through your church and do a couples retreat, but I always enjoyed speaking to a professional psychologist. And know that although you working on it alone can make some changes if he doesn't want to get involved its going to be hard to get anywhere. GL.ETA: Hope that doesn't count as chewing you out for posting this here! I was on mobile earlier and could only see "Please don't chew me out..." which struck me as odd but I thought maybe you were overly sensitive! LOL

I know , I'm sorry it's just I am just lost and I can't talk to family cause all they tell me is " we'll then leave him !" And I'm looking for real advice you know ??
And thank you for your input I'm on mobile so insert smiley here !

DaringMiss

MommyP26:

I know , I'm sorry it's just I am just lost and I can't talk to family cause all they tell me is " we'll then leave him !" And I'm looking for real advice you know ?? And thank you for your input I'm on mobile so insert smiley here !

If there were a magic set of words to say to make a husband put down the Xbox controller and be more of a participant in his own life, don't you think other women would be using them and writing them on bathroom stalls for all women-kind to utilize?

So, you guys need professional counseling.  "But" you are going to say "He won't go!"  Then you tell him that you will be filing for a divorce -- that you won't be the only one working and trying in the marriage and that if he won't step up and be a true father and spouse, you aren't going to bother being a wife to him.  

Don't you realize that you are ALREADY a single parent and how much EASIER your life would be without having to pick up after your 3rd child...oops! I mean husband!?   A real partner would never require you to make all the changes and do all of the heavy lifting. 

tracy41

DaringMiss:

MommyP26:

I know , I'm sorry it's just I am just lost and I can't talk to family cause all they tell me is " we'll then leave him !" And I'm looking for real advice you know ??
And thank you for your input I'm on mobile so insert smiley here !

If there were a magic set of words to say to make a husband put down the Xbox controller and be more of a participant in his own life, don't you think other women would be using them and writing them on bathroom stalls for all women-kind to utilize?

So, you guys need professional counseling.  "But" you are going to say "He won't go!"  Then you tell him that you will be filing for a divorce -- that you won't be the only one working and trying in the marriage and that if he won't step up and be a true father and spouse, you aren't going to bother being a wife to him.  

Don't you realize that you are ALREADY a single parent and how much EASIER your life would be without having to pick up after your 3rd child...oops! I mean husband!?   A real partner would never require you to make all the changes and do all of the heavy lifting. 

Lol. This.

babymama619

DaringMiss:

MommyP26:

I know , I'm sorry it's just I am just lost and I can't talk to family cause all they tell me is " we'll then leave him !" And I'm looking for real advice you know ?? And thank you for your input I'm on mobile so insert smiley here !

If there were a magic set of words to say to make a husband put down the Xbox controller and be more of a participant in his own life, don't you think other women would be using them and writing them on bathroom stalls for all women-kind to utilize?

So, you guys need professional counseling.  "But" you are going to say "He won't go!"  Then you tell him that you will be filing for a divorce -- that you won't be the only one working and trying in the marriage and that if he won't step up and be a true father and spouse, you aren't going to bother being a wife to him.  

Don't you realize that you are ALREADY a single parent and how much EASIER your life would be without having to pick up after your 3rd child...oops! I mean husband!?   A real partner would never require you to make all the changes and do all of the heavy lifting. 

I agree with all of this, especially the highlighted parts. If you are not ready to give him an ultimatum you at least NEED to get into counseling ASAP for yourself. If you are seriously considering leaving then you need to do some serious thinking and planning based on your specific situation.

good luck 

inthelost

I agree that counseling is the best option. It's the only way things are going to improve between you and your husband. If that doesn't work, I'd be thinking of other options, but focus on that for now.