Why are you OAD?

pwyckhouse

Hi I am a new mom to a great little guy he will be 5 months soon.  I was just wondering what made you want to be OAD?  I keep going back and fourth and I would like to know how you came to your choice. TIA

Divallyn

Multiple reasons really. 

- I like the ease of having one and attention I can give him and spend one on one with him

- the lifestyle it gives us financially and time wise

- I had horrible post natal insomnia that lead into PPD and PPA that I wish to never experience again

- We feel quite complete, happy and stres free with our family of three.

Shabutie

My baby girl is still very young but I am 99% sure I am OAD. The other 1% comes from me feeling bad that my Hubby has always known he wanted two kids.
Here are my reasons.

-My baby was born a day shy of 32 weeks with no explanation. My pregnancy was going great and I felt on top of the world. I was totally healthy and was a very low-risk. Then, one day my water broke and BAM, baby.

-She spent 3 weeks in the NICU. Seeing her teeny body hooked to IVs was totally heartbreaking.

-I had some serious PPD, never saw that coming.

-I could not, for medical reasons, breastfeed. Although I worked my butt off trying to pump for a month, it just wasn't feasible. Stupid boobs can't do the one job they were made for...

   The breastfeeding was the most influential in my decision. Up until I was forced to give up trying, I still had in my mind that I would one day have another child. Now that I am solid in my decision, I am finding reasons why being OAD is a great thing. More $ and time to spend with LO. Less stress between the family as a whole because everyone can give and get the attention they deserve. Stuff like that.
Also, now that I have made it past the first 2 & 1/2 months home(which were a nightmare for many reasons) I have found that I must have the best baby on the planet. She sleeps 10-11 hours at night before waking to be fed, she is all smiles and coos now, is a wonderful napper, and generally just a "chill" baby- has been for a couple weeks now.  I adore watching her grow and I can't imagine not spending all my time with the new love of my life

missymo

I think a better question is: why have more children? 

Having only one child gives you the joy of parenting, without the horror of breaking up sibling fights, paying double (or more!) for everything, potty training numerous times, cooking more, spreading yourself thin trying to please everyone and give everyone equal attention, etc., etc., etc., etc.

The question really should be about reasons to have more.  Personally, I can't think of many compelling reasons (and hopefully we all agree by now that having another baby just to give your first a sibling is horrible decision making) to have another child.

If you have a burning desire to have another child, do it.  If you don't feel that desire, deep in your gut, than what reason is there to do it?  

Chapter79

M&MHaveMyHeart:

The short answer.. my family feels 100% complete. I do not have the desire for another child.

This really just sums is up.  I feel we are 100% complete, so why would I add another child? 

Kids are crazy expensive, man. I like to be able to provide a bit more for the one I do have. Opportunities, vacations.. and well yeah, toys and clothes. 

Things are easier with just one. Even small things like going to the store, Target or out to dinner.

And now that my kiddo is older, the thought of carseats, diapers, no sleep and bottles freak me the heck out.  I simply have no desire for that.

I also know my limits.  I wouldn't have the patience for another

MomToNeeners

I don't enjoy being a science experiment while pregnant and delivering due to type 1 diabetes.

I am a single parent and I can afford our expenses without assistance.

I also don't want to pay for another bat mitzvah. I'm a Jew..it is what it is...

I was also told not to have any more kids. I'm not sure it's because of my diabetes or my doctors didn't want to deal with me being pregnant again, but I'm going with it! 

SoDoMojo

I'm O&D for my sanity. 

DS is (in the grand scheme of life) an incredibly easy kid. We conceived quickly, no complications, he's healthy as a horse, he's smart, he's (for the most part) well behaved, he's sweet as honey, he's freaking amazing.

... he's still really hard. Parenting is HARD.

I had a sh!t show of a childhood. While I know my childhood will absolutely be nothing DS is confronted with, I'm still completely terrified I'll eff him up somehow. So, I worry and worry and worry. Stress, stress, stress... I can't do that x2.  

Plus, we can provide many luxuries for our only child. Both DH and I grew up dirt poor. It gives us great joy for DS to not want for much. 

firewife9278

At first, it was infertility and age that were the deciding factor.

Then the absolute feeling of completeness with our family of 3 set in, and I wonder why we ever wanted more than one. DD is the most amazing little girl I've ever met.

And financially, I'd rather spend money on books, toys, clothes and vacations for DD than spend it on however many cycles of fertility drugs we would need to get pregnant again.

kristennd

We originally planned on two. It wasn't a carefree no-brainer.

Partly finances. We can't afford private school and vacations even with one. Two and we couldn't pay our mortgage.

I had LO two weeks before I turned 40.

We've both realized we don't have the patience or the energy for more than one. We didn't enjoy infancy much at all. Toddlerhood is much less stressful, and genuinely fun, but still exhausting. Going in two directions at once and referring fights on top of that? We just can't.

 

MAtoNC

medical reasons and age.

salt78

M&MHaveMyHeart:

The short answer.. my family feels 100% complete. I do not have the desire for another child.

I have a lot of reasons, but really it boils down to this. 

jb2rn

-my baby was a poor sleeper. It really effected our marriage.

-I am older (37) and worry about having a sick baby.

-I don't think I would be a good Mom to two children. I know some women can get two hours of sleep a night, nurse a newborn all day, and run around with a toddler, but I don't know if I could do it.

Sadly, my heart wants more, and I think dh and I could do it..but when our son was three or so. And I am too old for that option.

*~Krystin1119~*

Both DH & I have separate IF issues.

We've had some career shake-ups and aren't as financially stable as we would like to be at this point in our lives.

Our school district has gone downhill and we'll be sending DD to a private school in a neighboring borough when she starts school. We would not be able to pay our bills, private school and daycare if we had another child.

We enjoy the time we can give to DD without feeling that we are stretching ourselves too thin which would happen if we had another child.

We feel complete as a family of 3.

KL777

-I'm not "cut out" for multiple children

-Don't have the patience for multiple children

-I've been back to work now for 2.5 years and I can't begin to fathom adding another child to the "mix".

-More money to spend on DS, DH, others, and self

-More time with DH and more "me" time

-More disposable income.

-Don't want to do pregnancy, labor, delivery, and the newborn stage in my late 30s/early 40s.

-We have a great family just the way it is!

AnnaRedhead

For many reasons...kids are expensive!! We are ok financially right now and are able to still travel and do extras for our son. Add another one to the mix and we wouldn't be as comfortable. I want to be able to give him the best life we can with lots of experiences, travel and extracuricular activities!

 I didn't like being pregnant, had a c-section and a rough recovery. None of which I want to experience again.

I know my personality and I know how much I can handle. My son is SUPER active and I really think another one would just send me over the edge!

Also I like my sleep! No way in hell do I want to do over the sleepless newborn phase!!

SheLovesMrHip

1. Medical reasons.....I am a medical mess

2. Didnt enjoy having a preemie and having her in the NICU

3. Happy with just one 

4. We are already in our mid 30's