We just had our shower on Sunday, and it was wonderful. One of the items we received was a brand new high chair.
This weekend, I am throwing a birthday BBQ for DH at our house, and his sister and our two nephews (ages 1 and 3) are coming. DH asked if we could set up the high chair and let them use it at the BBQ. I kind of don't want to do that. I want the high chair to be completely new and clean for when our LO arrives. He seems annoyed at me, and honestly I am not sure if I am being unreasonable or not. So in your opinions, am I being silly? Should I just let them use it?
Re: am I being unreasonable?
Mama to 2 girls - H&I
Yeah, I mean if this was not my first, and I had already used it with other kids, or even as you say, if our LO was here and had used it...but something about him (our son) not being the first to use it...
When you've been married this long, you need a ticker to remind you.
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They do, but the BBQ is at our house...maybe the have another kind of child seat the can bring though, thats a good point.
I think you're being silly.
ETA: Now if your family member demanded that you open the high chair then I would think you aren't being unreasonable. Your husband offering was a nice gesture and very helpful. Or maybe you plan on lugging your high chair every where so you don't have to borrow one.
Ya I mean I'm a FTM so no personal experience here but I'm not familiar with family events where people bringing kids expect the host to supply child friendly seating! I'm sure your DH is just trying to be nice and is excited to use one of your baby items, but you are totally right for not wanting to get it dirty already.
Mama to 2 girls - H&I
I think it is a little silly but I would honestly feel the same way. Is it already set up or still in the box? If its still in the box I might say "DH, we dont even need this chair until LO is 6 months old--I would really prefer to keep it in the box and stored until then" If its out of the box, you may just want to let them use it.
FWIW, I never go anywhere expecting to have child-friendly seating available, whether the host has children or not.
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Sure they are her nephews. But it's not her responsibility to provide child friendly seating. It's the parents responsibility. She only has the high chair because she's pregnant, so what if she didn't happen to have a brand new high chair?
Mama to 2 girls - H&I
This.
The *only* caveat I would have is that H clean the heck out of that thing when its done, because its going to sit unused for several months and you don't want anything secretly growing on it.
They should have other alternatives anyway... What do they do when they go to a place where a high chair is not available? We have a collapsible one we take everywhere for our LO. It stays in the trunk.
Disagree. It is a host's responsibility to provide seating for guests. Would you say it was an elderly or disabled guest's responsibility to bring seating that could accommodate him/her? Now, that doesn't mean that OP necessarily needs to open her new present for the kids, but it is really not a guest's responsibility to provide his/her own seating when invited to a home.
OP, I understand where you're coming from. It's your new thing! And it's a pain to take it out of the box and all that.
But if it were me, I'd use it. Mostly for practical reasons. A toddler in a high chair is a toddler who is not smearing BBQ sauce on your couch.
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This is how I feel as well. DH's nephews are spending the week with us and his 23 month old nephew is sleeping in our brand new crib. Part of me wanted our daughter to be the first one to use it but I understand why nephew needs to use it so I'm ok with it.
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I get what you're saying. What if she didn't have the high chair though, is she supposed to go out and get a high chair to accommodate others children when they come over? That's the way I see it anyways, OP just do whatever you feel most comfortable with.
Mama to 2 girls - H&I
I disagree, I would never expect someone who's hosting a BBQ and doesn't currently have children to have any child seating available and would plan accordingly, the same with elderly. If special seating was required for them, that would be something that, I think, should be prepared for in advance or brought with you. You can't honestly expect someone to keep a stockpile of appropriate things for children, elderly, and/or disabled individuals in their home just in the event that someone meeting those specifications might come by. That is unreasonable.
OP, I agree with you, I wouldn't want to use it. What would they do if you had not had a high chair?
No, it isn't necessary to buy a high chair for young guests, but it is necessary to accommodate them in some way. Maybe that means eating picnic-style or using small stools at a low table. But it is rude to tell your guests to bring their own chairs, no matter their age (unless you're in a houswarming/no furniture situation, I suppose).
But it's important to remember that the person asking to use the chair is not the SIL ? it's her DH! He is the host and it's his birthday and he's trying to make an accommodation for his guests, which is what hosts are supposed to do.
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Go buy a Fisher Price Healthy Care booster. They are wonderful to have. We started keeping one in the trunk for DS to use at events like this. He could sit in them starting around 7 months or so. They are easy to set up and clean!
I don't expect childless couples to keep high chairs assembled and ready for our use when invited to a BBQ.
exactly this. If it was the guests insisting, I'd be put off. My H wanting to do it? Well the chair is half his, and I really don't have a legit reason to tell him no.
No big deal to me and it made their lives easier w less gear to transport.
I've also let friends use a brand new pack n play before. Again, I had easily accessible and it was less gear for them to schlep.
It is not necessary to stockpile all possible types of seating. It is polite to make accommodations for your guests. For a toddler, that might mean floor seating, a booster seat, or a low-set "kids' table" of some sort.
I would never, ever invite someone to my house and then say, "Oh, tough cookies, I forgot you can't climb stairs, so you have to sit outside while the rest of us eat inside." Plan for the comfort of your guests.
Plenty of people with specific seating issues do bring their own seating to events because they are used to being overlooked, but it sounds like OP's DH is just trying to be conscientious. Maybe everyone eating outside on a picnic blanket and folding chairs would work for all.
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I would not open up the high chair to be used by someone else.
If the chair was already open and set up, I wouldn't care. I have never once went to a party/bbq at a persons house, and expected them to accommodate a high chair.