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tracy41
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Nervous
tracy41
member
My child support hearing for DS2 is Wednesday and I am getting insanely nervous for some reason. I think it's partially the fact I feel bad for asking for the money when BD was against the pregnancy from day 1 and has no plans to ever see him. Not trying to start that debate, just my feeling. I know it's the best thing for DS2 and that's all that matters.
And I'm afraid that, despite the fact BD never responded to the court papers, he's going to show up at the hearing. It upsets me to even think about seeing him. We had known each for 10 years and I got pregnant and suddenly ceased to exist for him. It always struck me as a little funny since he's the one that pushed for the relationship. I was just a wreck from my divorce and thought why not? We work together so I saw him a few times a week my entire pregnancy and it was weird.
Not that I'm mad at BD, well I'm mad that he didn't show up to sign the BC like he said he would, but I'm not mad he doesn't want to be involved. It just makes me feel sad for DS2. I worry that he'll compare himself to DS1 and wonder why his dad didn't want him.
And a part of me feels bad because I'm glad I don't have send DS2 off for visitation. I see how it stresses DS1 out to switch homes. I know 50 50 custody is the new ideal but after living it, well an approximation of it, I don't believe in it. I know it's not fair to one parent but a kid needs one home. So even though DS1 is happy to spend time with his dad I just wish I could tell him not to worry that his home is forever with me and it will always be there for him to come back. That's a no no in coparenting btw, all about making both homes equally worthy and it's BS.
I don't think I had a point to any of this. I was just looking at the empty SP board and thinking. So hope that gave somebody something to read.
And I'm afraid that, despite the fact BD never responded to the court papers, he's going to show up at the hearing. It upsets me to even think about seeing him. We had known each for 10 years and I got pregnant and suddenly ceased to exist for him. It always struck me as a little funny since he's the one that pushed for the relationship. I was just a wreck from my divorce and thought why not? We work together so I saw him a few times a week my entire pregnancy and it was weird.
Not that I'm mad at BD, well I'm mad that he didn't show up to sign the BC like he said he would, but I'm not mad he doesn't want to be involved. It just makes me feel sad for DS2. I worry that he'll compare himself to DS1 and wonder why his dad didn't want him.
And a part of me feels bad because I'm glad I don't have send DS2 off for visitation. I see how it stresses DS1 out to switch homes. I know 50 50 custody is the new ideal but after living it, well an approximation of it, I don't believe in it. I know it's not fair to one parent but a kid needs one home. So even though DS1 is happy to spend time with his dad I just wish I could tell him not to worry that his home is forever with me and it will always be there for him to come back. That's a no no in coparenting btw, all about making both homes equally worthy and it's BS.
I don't think I had a point to any of this. I was just looking at the empty SP board and thinking. So hope that gave somebody something to read.
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Re: Nervous
Dude, I was hella nervous for my CSRH for the exact same reason - what if he shows up?! And then he did. IDK why, but I was shaking at first. Oh, and he brought his mom along. That was weird...
Well I can guarantee his mom won't be showing up since he has not admitted to a single person that LO is his! Even to the people who already know he won't say it. He will neither confirm or deny. It's a little bizarre and really funny in a he's a d!ck way. We weren't really obvious in our dating since we work together but close friends knew. And while I didn't run around screaming "He's the baby daddy!" his sudden aversion for me was noted even by people who didn't know we had been dating. Dummy.
Yeah, we did a paternity test, too (long story), which is still weird that his mom showed up. She super-hates me, so hopefully she won't come to our actual hearing.
I feel really sad that y'all knew each other for so long, and the whole DS1 going for visitation thing. Makes me wanna give your family a big ol' hug.