Sad/Shame

fouadi

I dont know why, but at the same time I feel sad, I feel shame to have lost my twin babies. I feel people will think I cant carry a baby or get pregnant again. I have been down a little since my little guys funeral is in the a.m. I hope it will be easy on me. I am in such a rush to get back to trying, but my body isnt ready for sure. I feel I want to just hide out, no one find me. I am going to Michigan to pick up my mom to come back to Mass but I want to just run there and turn around. I am so hurt, sad, shame:( This was my first pregnacy and I was so proud and thought my body would give out...it did:(

princezjk

Sending you TP and extra hugs for your sons burial tomorrow. And though I know it's hard to accept, don't feel shame. It's so easy to blame ourselves, but we have to keep telling ourselves "this is not my fault" until we start to believe it.

Heatherhah

Sending you huge hugs to get through the funeral!!!

Heather

Noethola

This is your life, your story and your new normal. Do not start thinking about how other people perceive you, it will tear you apart. Think about what is good for you and what you should do as the parent to your little boys. Do not listen to other people, because they have no idea what you are going through. No one can tell you you are grieving too much or not enough, that you are going too fast or not fast enough. Each day, make decisions that are best for you, your DH and your family.

Thoughts and prayers to you this morning. 

OSUWifey09

***siggy warning***

 

Like pp said, don't start thinking about how other people perceive you. It doesn't matter what they think, because they're not in your shoes and don't know what it's like. You do what you need to do to grieve and remember your precious boys, and forget everything else for now.

I know today will be a very hard day, but sending you lots of hugs and love. I'll be thinking of you and your boys today.

shandorfml2

T and P for you during your babies funeral. Take it easy on yourself. We all get it, and I wanted to run away and try again ASAP. Be gentle on yourself...it will get easier.

fouadi

Thanks ladies

The funeral services went better than planned, I had a few tears, but not like I thought I would. The baby that was laid to rest next to them had the name that I was going to name my daughter which is not a common name so I prayed for her also. It was just meant to be after I saw the name that lied next to them. I actually look at there pics and feel so proud today. I actually birthed these beautiful babies:)

Thanks again

MRowe82

You should be so proud of your body! You still went through labor delivery like a champ. It's ok to be sad, my girl would be almost a week old by now. I bury her on Thursday. Please stay strong, I know how hard it is. Hugs