IF and work

novelblessings

I work full time as a therapist and typically have clients booked out 3-4 weeks in advance. When I have had appointments in the last 6 months it hasn't been too big of a deal to take time off. I typically have to take a half day for appointments because I work 45 minutes from home, where my doctor is.

I had an appointment on Friday and had to take the whole day off. My supervisor reamed me out (via email of all things) because I had to miss a "mandatory" all staff meeting. I have not told him what is going on but have said that I will have other upcoming appointments. Only one person at work knows about our issues.

My question is whether or not you have told your boss about your IF and why you have so many appointments? I feel like I should say something about why I have to miss work, but my supervisor is a jerk, so I'm thinking of just speaking to our director who is a woman. Thoughts?

madasm0530

I told my boss recently and she was super supportive. She just told me to go ahead and work from home if there was an appointment that I needed to get to during the day. I realize this isn't the case with everybody and I count my blessings on that front. 

GL getting things figured out! 

rox825

I've told my boss, but she's fantastic so it was easy and I didn't have any reservations. If your boss is a jerk, maybe not... and could going over his head with a HR issue make it worse? Could you maybe explore the possibility of having your PCP provide you with some documentation that you're being treated for generic medical condition that will require sporadic time off? They could confirm with your RE that you're in treatment but leave specifics out... not sure how much info your boss might need to ease up! Good luck.

Twinkie0612

I have a pretty good relationship with my boss and told him what was going on since it requires me to miss work.  If we didn't have a good relationship, I would have just told him that I had doctor's appointments and left it at that.

I've mentioned a few times this last week or so that we moving on to the next step for treatment and that it would require more time off/doctor's appointments.  I haven't come out and said, "Hey, we are doing IVF" yet, but I think he got my hints.  I plan on sitting down with him when I know more to give him an idea of how many days I will need off and roughly when they will be.

novelblessings

Thanks for all the input!  Rumbera I'm pretty sure I don't have to worry about being written up. I explained how the appointment was scheduled before I knew about the meeting. Also because I was so pissed about his email I called our director and told her I had a doctor's appointment and she said it was fine. Plus after all of that, the day before the meeting my supervisor said he was going on vacation and wouldn't be at the meeting either!

I just know I need to say something eventually, especially because I will have to cancel clients to get my HSG done. With our office being so small people are already asking if I'm ok.

 

novelblessings

Rumbera28:

novelblessings:

Thanks for all the input!  Rumbera I'm pretty sure I don't have to worry about being written up. I explained how the appointment was scheduled before I knew about the meeting. Also because I was so pissed about his email I called our director and told her I had a doctor's appointment and she said it was fine. Plus after all of that, the day before the meeting my supervisor said he was going on vacation and wouldn't be at the meeting either!

I just know I need to say something eventually, especially because I will have to cancel clients to get my HSG done. With our office being so small people are already asking if I'm ok.

 

Whoa... he really does sound like a piece of work!!  I'm so glad that the director is on your side... good luck! :-)

Oh I could go on and on about him....Thanks!

mmb248

First of all, your boss sounds like a real jerk. I have 3 supervisors.  One of them knows that I'm TTC, but the other 2 do not.  My RE is located about 8 blocks from my office, so I'm hopeful that I won't have to miss too much time for work.

However, I've had co-workers who were going through IF treatments and they've had no problems working things out with our supervisors.  They're all very results oriented so as long as you get your job done, they don't mind if you have to adjust your schedule.

Ease of scheduling and ability to work from home are the two main reasons I work here instead of other places that would pay more.

RunCC37

Sorry that your boss is giving you trouble. I'm a teacher, and so far I've been able to (for the most part) get it all done before work. I have had a few instances where I was a few minutes late, but I was able to slide in under the radar. I don't really like sneaking around, but we're about to start summer vacation so I don't have to think about it until September. If we are still cycling by the new school year, then I will most definitely tell my principal.

vpine

I'm lucky because I work in hospital - I got my HSG done at work and my fertility specialist is next door inside another hospital, takes 2 mins to walk there from my office, I schedule my appointments during lunch time and I take the day off work when IUI will be performed.

My boss is male and I did tell him, he just wished me luck and doesn't bring up or question my time off.

novelblessings

I'm glad to hear most of you have had good experiences with coming out to your bosses. Appointments before work or during lunch aren't really an option for me because I work so far from home. We'll just see how it goes. Hopefully it will be ok just telling him I have doctor's appointments, for now....

jfb29

I told my last boss. She wasn't supportive at all. I haven't had to say anything yet to my new boss but I'm now working part time so my appts have been scheduled when I'm not working. I am hoping I won't have to say anything but if this cycle works out and I have to do the IUI in the morning I will have to.

Remember you don't have to share anything if you don't want to. I understand feeling they "deserve" to know but only share what you are comfortable with. You can just say you are dealing with something medical in nature and that it isn't anything serious so they don't need to worry about you. Legally they can't ask for specifics.

Twinkie0612

tigger99:

I have not had to tell my boss yet but think he would be understanding. So far all my monitoring appts I have been able tonget in before work and my IUIs i have taken a half day for. Although my last appt i had to leave in the middle of the day and come back and he asked if everything was okay. If I have to move to IVF i plan on telling him what is going on and why I will be missing a couple full days.

This is why I ended up telling my boss.  When I started testing and had to take time off work/come in late he kept saying that he hoped everything was ok. 

ky29

I told my boss after my first meeting with the RE.  I'm his assistant & at least one of us has to be here at all times.  I wanted him to be aware that I may have asspointments scheduled last minute & to understand why.  He was very understanding and never had any issues with me missing work.  I'm very grateful & glad I said something. 

novelblessings

ky29:

I told my boss after my first meeting with the RE.  I'm his assistant & at least one of us has to be here at all times.  I wanted him to be aware that I may have asspointments scheduled last minute & to understand why.  He was very understanding and never had any issues with me missing work.  I'm very grateful & glad I said something. 

This is the reason I feel I should say something. In my line of work I'm interfering with the treatment of clients if I'm "randomly" cancelling my whole day.

scbedi

I have told most everyone at work although I have kept this cycle hush hush except for those who do the scheduling. They have been very supportive and understand the importance.

SweetTea420

I am going to have to tell my boss eventually, maybe at my evaluation in October since we won't start treatment until the new year. My job is a 9-5 and I work very closely with my co-workers, so they have started to notice I am missing more work than usual lately. They keep asking me if everything is okay...I'm just not comfortable with a few of my co-workers knowing what I'm going through.

nyrunningqueen

 Warning: PG mentioned (not mine)

 

As many on this board know, my boss is a woman ( who is also 5 months PG) and I have told her about our IF and she was very supportive and empathetic. Before I left for my conference in Florida, I also mentioned to her that we are now moving to IUI and once again she was amazing and has told me to take whatever time I need and can flex my schedule if I need to. If your boss is a jerk, I would mention it to the director so that you may possibly have someone in your corner.  GL to you. 

babydreams13

Thats annoying.  I haven't told my job.  My monitoring apps are at 6 ish in the am and I get to work by 8 on time.  If i have an IUI I call in sick.  I get 10 sick days a year so its allowed.  I would tell your job you are having some medical issues and you will be going to appointments.  Its up to you how specific you want to get.  

RachC624

My direct supervisor knows, simply because she came in to observe me and I mentioned needing to go for blood work and a doctor's appointment. She made a comment along the lines of "good news?" and I said "no the opposite." Thankfully she has been EXTREMELY understanding as she went through an RE too (ironically the same place I go to). My RE's office is right down the street from my school too so that makes it a little easier.