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DH wants to go to appointment

CowgirlK39CowgirlK39 member
in Babies on the Brain
I scheduled a ob/gyn appointment for sept to begin the discussion of what is wrong with my repro system, as well as have my annual. The doctor has told me in the past that I may have PCOS or other issues since I do not cycle normally when not on BC. I told DH I made the appointment and he got really excited, since he has baby fever like crazy. Then, he told me he would like to go with me to the appointment. At first I laughed and told him its not like its a sonogram, it's the damn gyno! He said he understood that but would like to learn about what's going on with me and be in on the conversation. Would it be weird for my DH to come to a gyno appointment? I think it would be super awkward, even if he sat in the waiting room until we were ready to just that. Does he have a reason to be there, or should I just fill him in when I get back? Part of me thinks this is really sweet that he cares this much about our future and my health, but its also weird. 
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Re: DH wants to go to appointment

  • Lola246Lola246
    I thinks it's sweet he wants in on the convo. Plus he will be with you durning all you pregnancy apts. So maybe starting now will help things be less weird later on. I know how you feel though.
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  • kcisthebombdotcomkcisthebombdotcom member
    I absolutely do not think its weird for a spouse to come to an appointment where you plan on discussing your barriers to conceiving. He should be informed of that and its beneficial he hears it for himself/has the opportunity to ask your doctor questions he may have about the process. Once you get pregnant he'll be there during gynecological exams and will see a lot worse when you deliver. Have him come. 
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  • CowgirlK39CowgirlK39 member

    I forgot to add: should I tell the doctors office that he plans to be there (if that's allowed) just to let the doc know that we want a bit more of her time to talk? She's soooo busy and I think I would feel like a jerk if I made her run behind schedule without warning. I don't know why I just worry that it's now okay for him to be there but I don't know!

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  • DebateThisDebateThis member

    No, it's not weird that your H wants to go with you to an appointment, but you shouldn't really spring this sort of conversation in the middle of your annual - it should be its own consult.

    That said, if you are having actual infertility issues (as in, a year of unprotected sex or you know via charting and temping BBT that you aren't ovulating) then you should skip over the OB-Gyn and make an appointment for a consultation for an RE (reproductive endocrinologist - an infertility specialist). You can find one via SART: https://www.sart.org/find_frm.html

    OB/Gyns are not fertility specialists and far too many of them waste the time and money (and potentially hurt the fertility) of women who need an actual expert in the world of infertility. OB's are great for once you ARE pregnant - they are not great at getting you pregnant.

    Once you get your initial consult with an RE, your H will need to do a semen analysis (SA), anyways, so it's a good thing he's on board and supportive - nearly 40% of infertility cases are related to the male partner so typically a SA is one of the first tests run.

    There's a lot more on the subject but this should get you started. Good luck.

     

     

    Six years of infertility and loss, four IUIs, one IVF and one very awesome little boy born via med-free birth 10.24.13.
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  • KdgTeacherKdgTeacher member
    imageCowgirlK39:

    I forgot to add: should I tell the doctors office that he plans to be there (if that's allowed) just to let the doc know that we want a bit more of her time to talk? She's soooo busy and I think I would feel like a jerk if I made her run behind schedule without warning. I don't know why I just worry that it's now okay for him to be there but I don't know!

    If MH wasn't "allowed" to come to my appts with me, especially without having to get permission, I'd be looking for a new doctor's office. 

    I've never had an issue with getting all my questions answered during any type of appt I've had with my OB.  I started mmy/our IF workup with my OB and I was able to do it during my annual appt.  Yes, it ran longer than normal, but it wasn't a big deal.

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  • CowgirlK39CowgirlK39 member

    I cannot make this a separate appointment because my insurance will not cover it as much as they would an annual. They pay fully for an annual exam, but I would pay probably $200+ for a separate appointment. I even tried to get in sooner but the receptionist straight out told me it wouldn't be covered until it was exactly a year or more since my last one. 

     

    Well, if its not weird, then I guess he will go with me! I just wasn't sure how to feel about that or if it was appropriate for him to be there. 

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  • CowgirlK39CowgirlK39 member
    Crap, I never thought of that. Thanks. Maybe I better hold off on bringing him till I know for sure if I can have that conversation at that time. I have time to look into it, since the appointment isn't till September.
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  • DebateThisDebateThis member

    imageCowgirlK39:
    Crap, I never thought of that. Thanks. Maybe I better hold off on bringing him till I know for sure if I can have that conversation at that time. I have time to look into it, since the appointment isn't till September.

    Go to your normal annual, and spend the next couple months looking for an RE in the meantime. 

    Six years of infertility and loss, four IUIs, one IVF and one very awesome little boy born via med-free birth 10.24.13.
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  • 5555 member
    I go with my husband to his ear, nose, and throat specialist appointments, and that doesn't really affect me. I think it's perfectly fine for your husband to join you at an appointment that really could have a large effect on his life.
    BabyFruit Ticker

    Married since July 2009.
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    EDD: April 22, 2015
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  • JustSomeKSgirlJustSomeKSgirl

    I think it is awesome that he wants to be a part of it, especially in the early stages. If my DH wanted to go, I would gladly have him come along and if for some reason I didnt let him, I would worry that it would make him lose some enthusiasm for the process. Also, if you should find out something might be wrong with your reproductive system, he can be there for support and encouragement.

     

    I have PCOS and sometimes it can be difficult to explain symptoms to my DH, but I am thankful he is so understanding of what I go through at times. I hope it all works out for you and you dont have to go through the ups and downs! 

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  • WndrlstJosephineWndrlstJosephine

    I have an appointment next month to talk with my OBGYN about preparing to conceive.  My husband's coming, and I wouldn't have it any other way.  TTC and pregnancy can be a long road, especially if there are fertility issues, so I think it's great your husband wants to be your partner in this.  You may need his support (and he may need yours), so it only makes sense that he be in on the conversation.

    Good luck!    

    I AM
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