I lost my baby this week.

MRowe82 · June 2013

On Wednesday June 19, I delivered a stillborn baby girl. I found out 24 hours before she no longer had a heartbeat. 6 days before, her heart was strong regular at 136bpm. I was 41 weeks pregnant. I'm a full figured woman, but very active, I was very active throughout my pregnancy didn't gain more weight than they wanted me to. All my blood work was beautiful didn't develop gestational diabetes. The only thing that happened was that my blood pressure would spike, but nothing dangerous didn't require medication. I feel like I killed my baby. That maybe I didn't want her enough, the pregnancy was a surprise. maybe I didn't appreciate her enough. I feel like I'm dying myself, I'd gladly give my life to have her back. I feel like I should've known something was wrong. I knew I felt her moving, I know I did! We are burying her this week. I know this will be the hardest thing I've ever done. We want to try again in about 6 months for another baby, I'm just terrified this will happen again. At this point I'm just surviving. I hope I can smile again someday.

fouadi · June 2013

I am so sorry for your loss, know you didn't kill your baby:( Never think that, I lost my two twin boys at on Sunday and it was the hardest thing ever. I have gotten thru a few milestones this week and pushed myself to stop looking at the wall. I bury my boys this week and it will be hard. I want to start trying again but scared also that what if I get twins again? Will something happen to them? I know that our babies are in heaven and these babies love us as mothers. I get comfort from that. Your baby heard your voice, she smelled you, heard you sing, heard you laugh. You rubbed your belly and i am sure she kicked in response to your touch. She loved you with all her heart! These events have probably made us the toughest women on earth and made us the softest. When we get our next babies our events will show us how to love like no other women. I hope you find comfort and I am praying for women like us. Take care of yourself..

angelsnight · June 2013

I'm so sorry for the loss of your sweet girl. Did you name her? We'd love to hear her name if so.

Please know there is NOTHING you did wrong, and you did not cause this. I know it is so painful to not have answers as to why this happened and its so easy to blame ourselves. I can relate to that a lot....there was nothing wrong with my baby, but my body failed her and couldn't keep her in. It was literally the trauma of being born that she could not survive, she was too little and too early. I felt so guilty for a long time, but I hope you can come to some peace soon, knowing that you did not want this to happen and you did not cause it.

I am so sorry you have to be here, but I am glad you found us. Big hugs to you.

Noethola · June 2013

I am so very sorry for the loss of your little girl. Its the most awful experience ever to lose your little one. You did not kill your baby, though I think all of us have felt that at one time or another. This is an event that totally rocks your world, and you will need to take time to heal mentally, physically and emotionally. You will never be the same and you will never forget your daughter. I am so very sorry for your loss.

princezjk · June 2013

I am so sorry for your lost. I can relate with a lot that you are saying. I am sure most of us on this board have felt this barrage of emotions. The sadness, the anger, the guilt. You will hear it a million times and you probably still won't truly believe it, but this is not your fault. These boards are a great place to find support. I am sending you (((hugs))) as you bury your daughter this week. My thoughts and prayers are with you.

shandorfml2 · June 2013

I am so sorry for your loss and to welcome you here. You did NOT kill your baby. You did everything right, and there was nothing you could have done differently. Lots of hugs to you, and take it easy on yourself.

MRowe82 · June 2013

We named our sweet angel Lily. It's like we knew right from the time we found out the baby was a girl, her name would be Lily. Her middle name is Anne, a middle named shared by my mother best friend. Sweet Lily Anne, a precious 6.7lb, 21 inch long angel.

angelsnight · June 2013

MRowe82:
We named our sweet angel Lily. It's like we knew right from the time we found out the baby was a girl, her name would be Lily. Her middle name is Anne, a middle named shared by my mother best friend. Sweet Lily Anne, a precious 6.7lb, 21 inch long angel.

Beautiful name!

BrittianyM · June 2013

So very sorry for the loss of your beautiful little Lily. Her name is so pretty. We are all here for you whenever you need us.

Dixon813 · June 2013

Lily Anne - such a beautiful name.

I am so very sorry for your loss, my heart goes out to you and family. I've been a part of this group for exactly four weeks, and these ladies are a wonderful support system. I hope you'll find some comfort and peace here.

Thoughts and prayers to you...

Heatherhah · June 2013

I am so sorry for the loss of your sweet daughter Lily Anne. I hate to welcome you here but you are among friends we all understand how you are feeling. You didnt kill your baby. Huge hugs!! Heather

Carolee · June 2013

I'm so sorry for the loss of your precious Lily Anne. I'm glad you found this board, but I wish you didn't have to be here. Welcome.

JessicaG220 · June 2013

I am so, so sorry for your loss!!! I know exactly how you're feeling. It is so unfair to have to experience this. Just take comfort that you took care of yourself and there wasn't anything you could do to prevent this. It sucks so badly. I hope you'll find some peace and comfort on this board. These ladies are amazing!!! Hugs!!!

tuscanbride2007 · June 2013

I am so sorry for the loss of your sweet baby girl, Lily. I hope you find comfort here. We all understand what it is like to lose one (or more) of our precious children.

((HUGS))

OSUWifey09 · June 2013

***SIGGY WARNING***

I'm so, so sorry for the loss of your precious Lily. What a beautiful name. I hate that you're here, but I'm glad that you found us - we're here for you whenever you need us. I know it will be hard, but please don't blame yourself; this is NOT your fault. I hope that you lean on us when you need to. *hugs*