I did it!

MaybeMommies

I attended the most recent foster care orientation in our county.  It went great.  We were the only ones there so it was very personal.  I've been emailing back and forth with the coordinator ever since.  We got our application packet in the mail yesterday and I was initially very excited...then I started reading through it.  Now, I'm just confused!  I dont know if it's just the wording of some of the question but seriously?  One of the questions literally says "Explain nudity in your home."  Explain it?  Really?  We take showers.  We change clothes.  We certainly don't live in a nudist colony.  What are they looking for on this question?  And how am I supposed to answer questions about disciplining my "current" children?  I don't have kids!  Hence the decision to foster!  Is it appropriate to answer "I don't know.  Give me a kid and I'll get back to you?"  Am I just completely overthinking this? 

bumpuser794640

We answered questions like the first with what boundaries we have now and expect to have when we have a child in our home. Our questionnaire had questions worded so that those without children would consider and write about the types if discipline, rules, etc. we expect to have in place in our home.

You're probably overthinking things a little, but that's natural. This is a big deal. I'd make a list of questions you want to ask the coordinator about and email about them until you feel comfortable knowing what they are looking for it expecting from you.

Dr.Loretta

IMO yes, you're overthinking things.

They likely want you to explain how you plan to handle nudity once your child is in your home. Do you plan to robe up and pee alone, or are you OK with your kids walking in on you? Also understand you may be dealing with some foster kids who have had sexual abuse, etc., and they're looking for people to be sensitive to that.

As for the discipline issue, I'd say you have no current children, but your discipline philosophy going into this will be X, Y, or Z.

And don't be afraid to get back to your coordinator and clarify. They're there to help.

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MaybeMommies

I completely understand the asking of the questions.  I think I just expected something a little more in-depth.  I was prepared for it to be very invasive and it wasn't.  Yes, it asked about nudity but I was expecting more than that...I think.  I guess I'm trying to say that my confusion isn't coming from the questions...but more so the lackthereof?  It was like opening a present expecting a diamond ring and instead getting tickets to a baseball game or something.  Lol I know that doesn't make any sense but it was almost a letdown.  Not that I wanted super invasive.  I just expected it.  One question about simple nudity wasn't what I expected.  Plus, the wording was very different.  It does help to think of it in terms of boundaries.  Maybe because I'm a counselor I was expecting more clinical terms or something.  I teach parenting skills to parents of hurt/wounded children so maybe I was expecting to give them a full on treatment plan.  Heck, I don't even know what I'm saying anymore.  Thanks for the advice, ladies.  It definitely does help to think of it in terms of boundaries and dicipline!  Boundaries and skills I can do. 

Dr.Loretta

ashb15:

I completely understand the asking of the questions.  I think I just expected something a little more in-depth.  I was prepared for it to be very invasive and it wasn't.   

We did too when we did DIA, especially after reading some things that said they'd ask all sorts of questions about our sex lives and beyond. So I went ahead and asked our SW. She looked shocked that they would want to know such things.

Also keep in mind the questions may be more broad on paper, but conversations with your SW may be more detailed so they can flesh things out with you in person.

GL!

mysticl

ashb15:

I think I just expected something a little more in-depth.  I was prepared for it to be very invasive and it wasn't....... Maybe because I'm a counselor I was expecting more clinical terms or something.  I teach parenting skills to parents of hurt/wounded children so maybe I was expecting to give them a full on treatment plan.  

 I used to do foster home studies.  The questions in the application are a starting point.  The worker will use those answers to determine what else they need to ask you.  Some people are very private and get offended by the questions so you tread lightly at first.

 You may be a therapist and teach parenting but most of the foster parent applicants are not.  Some of them may only have a high school education.  English may be their second language.  The application is written for anyone to understand. Feel free to go as in depth as you want.  It will make your worker's job much easier.

JennaNAaron

A lot of the in depth questions they'll ask at your home study.  We were asked a lot about our relationship, our past history with our family.  Lots of questions...the application is just a starting point.