June 2012 Moms

"Time for another one!"

Now that my DS is a year old, everyone is asking me about when we'll have another baby or telling me it's time to have another.

Our reasons for holding off are for financial reasons. I don't know how we'd manage 2 in daycare. Thinking about this depresses me and it's not something I want to think about all the time.

I just feel like the topic of baby number 2 keeps coming up whenever I talk to people now. Anyone else feeling this way? What do you say to people?
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Re: "Time for another one!"

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    All the time! Our reason is due to finances too. My husband's brother continually talks about when his daughter turns a year old they will start trying for another one; my sister is due in October so I'm getting both sides of our families input on it. I would love to start trying soon for another one, but it is what it is. I think we may wait awhile and then when we do have baby #2, we will have baby #3 soon after.
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    We get more of the "so when are you going to try for a boy". We have 2 girls and at this point IF we decided to have another, it certainly wouldn't be to try for certain sex.
    "Making the decision to have a child is momentous. It is to decide forever to have your heart go walking around outside your body."
    Goodbye little angel(7/22/2011)....see you in heaven
    Goodbye my second angel (9/18/2011)
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    I straight tell them that we can't afford two kids in daycare at 405/week best case scenario. Then I tell them that we would welcome donations should anyone feel kind enough to help us pay for daycare.While my heart certainly tells me that I would like to have more kids, I just can't wrap my head around how we would be able to absorb that kind of cost. DH feels the same way. Apparently we're crazy for not wanting to take on more than we can afford.nbsp;

    Honestly sometimes I want to say this to people. Daycare is astronomical around here. But then this opens up the question "oh your mom/MIL/sister/other family member can't watch LO for you??"

    Seriously I can't tell you how many people said this to me when I went back to work. No, not everyone can get free child care from family. And seriously if I could, don't you think I would have thought of that? Grr.

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    Yes we are..and while part of the reason we are waiting is financial, the other is that I don't want to be pregnant again yet (I had a rough 3rd tri), and I want DS to be on his way out of diapers. I only want to clean one dirty butt on a regular basis, thank you very much!

    Plus I hope that by the time DS is 3 to 3.5 years old, if I need him to "help" with the baby (go and get mommy something--a diaper, a wipe, a bottle, etc) he will actually be able to do it. And I want to get to enjoy DS now, we aren't even talking about our next, and I have mirena, so it will be a very deliberate decision when we decide to try for LO #2.

    If you are like me and feel like being a "smarta$$" you can always ask them why they are so interested in when you and DH are "doing it" since that is pretty much what they are asking about... 

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    Same here..if I had day care, I would be totally ready for another..
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    I tell them not to worry about it, quick and straight to the point. We personally we are waiting till next year when DS is 2 because DH deploys at the end of the year So it just makes sense to wait.
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    Yes, I get that too.  And since not many people know I was pregnant again and had a miscarriage, their questions hurt all that much more.  It's really none of anyone's business and I wish people would not make those comments because you never truly know someone's situation.  After going through infertility with my first and a miscarriage with my second, I know better than to ask someone that.  But there are all sorts of reasons people may not want to share about not being ready yet, financial being one of them.

    I really have no advice on what to say because I usually just say I'm not ready, while inside I know that's not the truth.  It stinks.

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