Job Interview

DoublePortion

I had a job interview earlier today. I wasn't really looking for a job as DH and I agree that we both like me being home but Sunday I decided to just check and see what was out there. The job looked like a really good opportunity and DH was excited about it because it's supposed to be a good place to work.

Well, the first part of the interview was disheartening. Apparently there was a miscommunication with the HR dept and the listing was incorrect. The job is for more hours and less $$ than what it was listed for. Then to top that off the interviewer's first question was, "Tell me a little about yourself. Are you married, do you have children?" Um, isn't it a big no-no to ask an interviewee if they have kids?

Not to mention it is 30 min in the opposite direction from my house than my RE's office, which is also a 30 min drive from my house. So if I ever receive donor embryos it's not like I could make a quick trip to an appt. I'm not sure a new employer would be keen on me missing that much work.

To say the least I am praying that they don't offer me the job. DH said if they do to ask for more money, but the bigger picture isn't about the money or the good benefits. My #1 goal is to become a mother. At the same time I can't put my life on hold for something that may never happen, right? Ugh, I am so frustrated and confused.

zazu13

So sorry for the disappointing interview, and yeah marital & family status questions are no-no's for interviews. I feel like my life has been "on hold" as you state for several years (pursuing a career, etc). I hope your goal to be a mother comes quickly, but it's hard to know what to commit to in the meantime. Hope things work out for the best!

liz4paws

OH man, I'm sorry for the disappointment. When I was a manager for one of the "big four" firms in San Francisco, they trained us thoroughly on what we can and can't say during interview. We couldn't even ask what part of town a candidate was from. Your interviewer definitely should not have asked you about marriage, kids, etc. Major no no. I would not want to work for these guys even if they did offer you the job because it sounds like they are not aware of any rules, so it makes me question what kind of laxed workplace rules they have.  Seems like a red flag for sure.

But, if you do end up taking this job, the good news is that there shouldn't be many appointments for your FET. I'm 1.5 hours away RT from my clinic and it hasn't been nearly as bad as I thought. Does your clinic do early morning hours?

I hope the perfect thing works out for you, whatever it is.

DoublePortion

The crazy thing is that it was for an auditing dept. Of all people they should be all about the rules! lol 

I think the RE might schedule appt starting at 7:30 am but he's always running late. 

liz4paws

DoublePortion:

The crazy thing is that it was for an auditing dept. Of all people they should be all about the rules! lol 

I think the RE might schedule appt starting at 7:30 am but he's always running late. 

OH jeez! Well, for lab draws, can they just get you an order form that you can take to a local lab? Both REs I saw did that and it cut down on office visits. My incompetent nurses can never get my vein anyway.

BeeBee08

This is one of the worst parts of IF...the "what if'ing".  I hate that it controls everything we do. 

The thing to consider is that you weren't even looking for a job, you aren't totally sold on the job, and you're still considering it.  If they do offer it to you, it's okay to turn it down.  You don't have to take it, there will be other jobs.  If the plac you're at now is convenient and flexible, I think that's worth a lot when it comes to what we're dealing with.  I mean, if you went to the interview and were totally blown away and the money was great, time was great then it would be a sure thing, but if you're thinking it isn't the right fit for you right now, it probably isn't.  Sometimes we get all excited about change just for the sake of change, you know?

Man this stinks for you, I hate saying I hope you don't have to make the decision, but I kind of do, because it means they loved you and I want them to love you!  Good Luck sweets!  Once they make an offer, let's see what kind of negotiating we can do!

DoublePortion

liz4paws:

DoublePortion:

The crazy thing is that it was for an auditing dept. Of all people they should be all about the rules! lol 

I think the RE might schedule appt starting at 7:30 am but he's always running late. 

OH jeez! Well, for lab draws, can they just get you an order form that you can take to a local lab? Both REs I saw did that and it cut down on office visits. My incompetent nurses can never get my vein anyway.

Yeah, there's a lab close to my house so that would work out.  

DoublePortion

BeeBee08:

This is one of the worst parts of IF...the "what if'ing".  I hate that it controls everything we do. 

The thing to consider is that you weren't even looking for a job, you aren't totally sold on the job, and you're still considering it.  If they do offer it to you, it's okay to turn it down.  You don't have to take it, there will be other jobs.  If the plac you're at now is convenient and flexible, I think that's worth a lot when it comes to what we're dealing with.  I mean, if you went to the interview and were totally blown away and the money was great, time was great then it would be a sure thing, but if you're thinking it isn't the right fit for you right now, it probably isn't.  Sometimes we get all excited about change just for the sake of change, you know?

Man this stinks for you, I hate saying I hope you don't have to make the decision, but I kind of do, because it means they loved you and I want them to love you!  Good Luck sweets!  Once they make an offer, let's see what kind of negotiating we can do!

I was laid off in April so I think part of it is that DH was excited about this opportunity and I don't want to disappoint him. He wants me to stay home but also thinks this would be a great place to work. I know that whatever happens he will be ok with it so I'm just putting stress on myself.

One of the big negatives for me is that I would have to share a pretty tight office space with another woman. I'm an introvert and need space. I get along with coworkers and do well on teams but have not had good office sharing experiences. I'd actually much prefer cubes to shared offices! I had my own office at my last job and it was so nice. There were many times I needed to close the door to talk to the RE or just to cry.

I wanted them to love me too. On the way home I thought I shouldn't have tried so hard to impress them! lol

luvboston

I have two minds one is that I gave up two years of a career because we were always in mid cycle or pg or miscarrying and I regret it now because I wish we had more money now that we might actually get an LO however I would not have been able to get to this point if I had been working because I had to travel to the res in another state and then to Mexico and then was on bedrest.

I think if the job is easy in that you think you could do it and it wouldn't cause you additional stress I would go for it you can always quit. If your re is an hour away then you could possibly make it work also if you start working at the company and hate it you can quit. I agree with your DH that you should ask for more cash.

Lacyj67

luvboston:

I have two minds one is that I gave up two years of a career because we were always in mid cycle or pg or miscarrying and I regret it now because I wish we had more money now that we might actually get an LO however I would not have been able to get to this point if I had been working because I had to travel to the res in another state and then to Mexico and then was on bedrest.

I think if the job is easy in that you think you could do it and it wouldn't cause you additional stress I would go for it you can always quit. If your re is an hour away then you could possibly make it work also if you start working at the company and hate it you can quit. I agree with your DH that you should ask for more cash.

Good advice! I agree that the ball is always in your court and you can make the hard decisions when that time comes. Good luck with what ever happens!

BeeBee08

Sorry DP, I didn't realize you were not going to be leaving a job for this job.  You definitely have been given some good advice, and Lacyj's right, the ball is always in your court.  Ask for what you want and if not, then the decision is still yours.  Good Luck!

DoublePortion

Thank you all for the good advice! I feel better about it today.