not sure when to TTC

jenlc723

I am going back to grad school and it will last about 3 years while I work full-time. My husband is very ready for kids, but I am not. It seems like too much to handle all at once and getting my degree is very important to me. My worry is that when I am ready to start TTC, if I can't get pregnant, I will have this huge amount of guilt that we waited so long. Is there any way to find out if I will have any physical issues getting pregnant, (ie low egg count, hormone or uterus issues) now so I can make a better decision? I don't see my OBGYN until the end of the year to ask her. Any suggestions will help, thank you!

Dr.Loretta

Sure there are, but you can't plan your life around what might happen. There are a few things to consider:

1. What things look like now may not be what they look like 3 years from now. And if your dr doesn't test you at the right part of your cycle, the numbers may not be informative and may incorrectly sway you one way or another. And there may be no correlation between numbers and ability to conceive. All my levels were fine (despite being in my mid30s) but I couldn't carry a child. The tests wouldn't have really been helpful one way or another.

2. Tests for uterine issues, for example, are expensive, invasive, and can be painful. And they are likely not going to be covered by insurance just because you're curious right now

3. Your age is something to take into consideration. Are you 24 and wanting to wait? Another 3 years is going to make less of a difference than if you're 34. Even if you do have issues, that gives you 3 years to be in a better place to address them. If you're 34, 3 years could make a huge difference.

4. Your H may have issues, not you. Age won't really be a factor there

Like most of life, TTC is sort of a crap shoot. You could be young and have issues, or not. You could be older and have issues, or not. I'd be having a deep conversation with your DH about joint priorities, how he plans to swing a wife in school and work FT while raising a child (maybe he wants to be a SAHD, which is cool if you're on board), or merely setting a timeline: "In 4 years I'll have a degree, a year of work experience, and our finances will be ready for a baby, or treatments to have a baby." Or whatever you jointly decide.

GL

GL

jenlc723

Thank you so much for you help. I'm 26 so I'll be around 29 when I graduate. You gave me alot to think about, thank you! My husband and I both agree we BOTH want to be ready and he's willing to wait. I just worry about how I will feel if I wait and then have to wait even longer. But I rather not resent my child for stopping me from getting my degree and out of a job I don't like.

JenW1029

HI Jenlc723, I just went through this exact situation. I'm 28 and went back to grad school 2 years ago (also while working full time). My husband really wants kids and we had decided to wait until I'm done with school. I took a few extra classes to finish in 2 years versus 3, and we agreed that we would start trying to conceive towards the tail end of my grad program. I finish school this Aug, but we've started tracking my O cycle and we'll see what happens. Find out if your program will allow you to take an extra class or two, and perhaps start TTC before you finish your program. I was okay with the fact I might be finishing my program pregnant as long as I wouldn't have delivered before the grad program was over. Estentially you've cut down your TTC from 3 years to 1.5 years. I feel the same way in regards to wanting to finish my MBA, and that is something that will be a gift to your child, as you'll better your life forever! Hope that helps. Good luck!

JenW1029

Hope everything is working out for you

BeanQueen83

I think you still have plenty of time. I just turned 30 and still haven't starting TTC. I think any time before 35 is generally considered low risk. And even afterward, science is getting better. I would recommend the book Taking Charge of Your Fertility. It teaches you about fertility awareness and how to track your cycles. It will give you a better idea of when/if you ovulate, length of luteal phase, etc. I just started tracking last month and I feel so much more in tune with my body.

Dr.Loretta

BeanQueen83 said:

I think you still have plenty of time. I just turned 30 and still haven't starting TTC. I think any time before 35 is generally considered low risk. And even afterward, science is getting better. I would recommend the book Taking Charge of Your Fertility. It teaches you about fertility awareness and how to track your cycles. It will give you a better idea of when/if you ovulate, length of luteal phase, etc. I just started tracking last month and I feel so much more in tune with my body.

Um, no. Don't perpetuate the myth that everyone can just wait until their late 30s/early 40s and BAM get pg.