Starting the adoption journey

AliCake

Hi all!  I'm making my first post to this board- nice to meet you all!

My husband and I are getting ready to begin the adoption process, and I'm totally overwhelmed at where to begin.  We've done some research and have had many conversations about what type of adoption we are thinking about (we're most interested in newborn, domestic adoption), but there's so many agencies out there that we have no idea where to begin and how to start making decisions.

 

How did you all begin?  How did you research agencies?  Once you have a few agencies narrowed down, how did you ultimately select one?

 

Much thanks to you all, and best of luck on your adoption journeys! 

Dr.Loretta

Hi and welcome.

People take different approaches, but we wanted something fairly local that would walk us through the process. We called each one we were interested in, and asked a ton of questions. We spent an hour on the phone with each of 2 agencies we were interested in. One also had an info session--if that's available to you, I highly recommend. We also knew the reputation of one, both because it's pretty well known in our area, and because one of DH's CWs used them for her IA homestudy.

We did a lot of back and forth on choosing. One agency was small and had low fees and good placement stats. I didn't like the vibe of the woman we talked to at all, but DH was focused on fees. One agency was large, well-established, also had good placement stats, but had higher fees. It took a talk from his CW to convince him they were the ones to go with.

I'd make up a list of questions for things that are important to you. For some people, not having a separate (cheaper) track for AA/CA children is important. For others it's a religious background, or not. For some it's whether they're open to LGBT parents. Ask for references, both from people who have successfully adopted as well as waiting families, and those who've had adoptions fall through. How they handle the bad as well as the good can be crucial.

Also be aware you may be able to use a law firm, or an agency in another state/multiple states if that would work better for you.

GL and feel free to ask any more questions that come up. This is a great group of people who can really help!

aligross

Hey there! Welcome!!! 

When we came to the conclusion to pursue adoption over extremely invasive fertility treatments, I first went to google. I did a basic search  of agencies in our area. We live in a metropolitan area so there were QUITE a few... and even more were out there that actually did not pop up in my search. I went to the websites of the places and then started a list of questions to ask each of the places... I called and really asked them a bunch of questiosn and off of that the hubs and I narrowed it down. Some of the reasons we didn't choose an agency were because of how broad their answers were or how they did not seem to attach themselves to us. We went to multiple info sessions to see how each place conducted their info meetings. Then came the time when we started to just pray about it - we are a Christian couple and  felt lead in one way versus the other - once we started to feel the direction we were supposed to go we checked out each places "customer reviews" as we called them.... by simply searching for reviews on them there were multiple sites that popped up and then I started to find people once we were talking about it who had used one or the other agency. So that was that - we in the end went with our gut. We are just getting through the application process and we couldn't be happier so far with our agency. It is a national based agency because we don't want to limit our DIA to our state (which is what we were finding was happening to couples who were going through some of the smaller, local agencies). 

 So, if you could get through that entire ramble, in the end we went with our gut... what place would foster our needs, wants and desires while also teaching us and guiding us through the process in a Christian loving way! 

Best of luck to you!!!  

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AliCake

Thank you all for sharing your experiences!  DH and I have our first agency meeting next week, and I'm sure we'll have a million more questions as we get going with this process.  For example, I never even considered the pass through cost issue- now I know to ask about that!

 

Much thanks and best wishes to you all.