Non-clicky poll: How did you become a single parent?

tracy41

I wanted to do a clicky poll since I am bumping on my actual computer for once, but apparently it does not work on either IE or Chrome. If anyone has the explanation for that please let me know!

So, there will be much fewer responses but I was curious who the single parents reading the board were especially the silent mass of lurkers.  You do not have to share your story obviously but in brief are you a:

Single mom due to divorce?

Single mom due to end of serious relationship?

Single mom due to end of casual relationship?

Single mom due to long term absent spouse?

Single dad?

Here to silently mock and judge?

Other?

And is the other party involved at all or are you completely on your own? 

Oh, oh, and what age bracket do you fit in: <18, 18-20, 20-25, 25-30, >30? 

tracy41

And I will go first.

>30 and I get to play in two categories: single mom due to divorce and single mom due to end of casual relationship!  XH is involved, BD/XBF is not.

Next! 

Runaway22

Single mom due to end of a serious relationship. Age 20-25.

The other party and his family are not currently involved, though he may start paying CS.  

Also here to silently mock and judge  

ktedmon

I am 35 and single due to end of casual relationship. I was looking for something serious, BD was not. Broke things off about 3 weeks after we found out I was pregnant. Not knowing this at the time, but that was his MO. I am pregnant with number 6 and his most recent ex gf is pregnant with number 7. Also broke up with her shortly after she became pregnant.

CoIvie

Mine is other I guess. We were "together" back in November, that ended. Got back in contact in March and BOOM!

As for him being involved, there hasn't been any involvement yet but everyone has faith in him coming around except me

And 2025

MamatoA2010

Single mom due to divorce. I'm 36 and my daughter's father is very involved.

Mellisa412

25 to 30 and the relationship was somewhere between causal and serious if that makes sense the father is very much in the picture helping me with him

babymama619

Over 30, FTM and single parent due to casual relationship with a liar. BD has no interest in being involved at this point.

girlontheway

Single mom over 30, but under 35. I became a single parent when my long term relationship with BD was interrupted by his poor choices.  He is serving a 2 year prison sentence.  I still don't know if we're going to make it work after he gets out, but for now he is only in her life by letters.  I don't have a ticker, but she is 4 weeks old today.  He was arrested 2 weeks before she was born, so he still has a ways to go.  He's missed everything so far and I've been left to do it all alone.  Thank goodness I have such a great support system within my family.  

jmccall79

Single mom due to end of serious relationship

He's involved, when it's convenient for him.  I get CS sometimes, sometimes not.  He sees him about every 3 weeks to a month...and that's his own doing.  He doesn't ask and I'm not pushing the issue.  When he does see him, it's usually only for about an hour or so. And a lot of times it's him tagging along with me to run errands...real 'quality' time there, again his own doing not mine.

>30 

MomToNeeners

Single mom due to end of casual relationship.

BD has no involvement.

I'm in the 25-30 range. 

pregokat

Single because the father is a lying irresponsible sorry excuse for a human being. 

He is not involved in any way.

MeganSony

I was and am still married. (Things are being sorted out). STBXH literally just said he needed independence and space and to be able to go out and do whatever he wanted. He packed his bags and moved out that same day. To the surprise of myself, our family's and friends. So it was a shocker. I'm 26. He seems to be sort of involved. Although I'm not sure what is motivating him right now. Hoping it is the right thing.

tracy41

Runaway22:

Also here to silently mock and judge  

Why is there no popcorn smiley? There should be popcorn.  Instead I give you beer and pizza.

tracy41

ktedmon:

I am 35 and single due to end of casual relationship. I was looking for something serious, BD was not. Broke things off about 3 weeks after we found out I was pregnant. Not knowing this at the time, but that was his MO. I am pregnant with number 6 and his most recent ex gf is pregnant with number 7. Also broke up with her shortly after she became pregnant.

Holy moley for a minute I thought it was your 6th and I was getting judgey!  Seriously I think they need to come up with a mental classification for men who feel the need to spread their seed far and wide. I have an older guy friend at work whose dad fathered over 30 children.  He doesn't know all of them, but one of his half brothers also works with us.  Extremely bizarre.

tracy41

CoIvie:

Mine is other I guess. We were "together" back in November, that ended. Got back in contact in March and BOOM! As for him being involved, there hasn't been any involvement yet but everyone has faith in him coming around except me And 2025

Colvie, I am pretty sure that classifies as the end of a relationship.  Sometimes it takes a couple times.

tracy41

tifanico:

Single mom due to end of serious relationship and here to loudly mock and judge.

Yes, I've noticed.   And LOL "Columbia in South America Not Columbia MD".  I went to Columbia University and for some reason have to explain, "no the university in New York, not the country" way too often.

tracy41

MamatoA2010:

Single mom due to divorce. I'm 36 and my daughter's father is very involved.

MamatoA, we could be long lost twins!  I am also 36 and DS1 was born in 2010.  If only you had gotten knocked up by a long time friend after your divorce and had a 2nd one this year we could have been identical!

tracy41

lurchbaby:

Single due to casual relationship.

Dude was barely there for the first year  and was hungover 90% of the time he was here. And he has never spent time alone with DS. He just moved across the country to try and sober up. So he is out for now but there is a very small glimmer of hope for the future.

20-25  

Major props to all the ladies under 25 doing it on their own!

tracy41

Mellisa412:

25 to 30 and the relationship was somewhere between causal and serious if that makes sense the father is very much in the picture helping me with him

tracy41

babymama619:

Over 30, FTM and single parent due to casual relationship with a liar. BD has no interest in being involved at this point.

babymama, you and I are over 30 and by now we are aware that most of them are liars. I just wanted to use this smiley. What does it mean? I rain on you!

tracy41

girlontheway:

Single mom over 30, but under 35. I became a single parent when my long term relationship with BD was interrupted by his poor choices.  He is serving a 2 year prison sentence.  I still don't know if we're going to make it work after he gets out, but for now he is only in her life by letters.  I don't have a ticker, but she is 4 weeks old today.  He was arrested 2 weeks before she was born, so he still has a ways to go.  He's missed everything so far and I've been left to do it all alone.  Thank goodness I have such a great support system within my family.  

Whoo boy. Congrats on your DD! And I am glad he is at least writing.  I hope it works out if that is what you what.  I assume he is in his 30's also? I am always wary of men in their 30's still making poor choices.  GL!

tracy41

jmccall79:

Single mom due to end of serious relationship

He's involved, when it's convenient for him.  I get CS sometimes, sometimes not.  He sees him about every 3 weeks to a month...and that's his own doing.  He doesn't ask and I'm not pushing the issue.  When he does see him, it's usually only for about an hour or so. And a lot of times it's him tagging along with me to run errands...real 'quality' time there, again his own doing not mine.

>30 

 You are going to laugh at me but I saw the pic in your siggy and was like "her BD looks familiar..." It took me a second to see the tag! LOL.

tracy41

babywatch2012:

I'm completely on my own, due to the end of a serious, but relatively short relationship. I'm here to figure out what I'm doing. Get some advice and see how everyone else in the same position manages. Parenting is hard work, parenting by yourself is a whole other world.

BTW, 

Woo! Hoo!  I get to say >30, I feel so young....   there's no >40 category 

babywatch, I am 36 so from now on I am just "over 30." Welcome! Feel free to advise us from your position of ancient-ness.  Also, post often.  There are not enough posts on how we are all making it work!

tracy41

MomToNeeners:

Single mom due to end of casual relationship.

BD has no involvement.

I'm in the 25-30 range. 

You are welcome to join me when I go to punch VintageBride's XH's GF in the face.

tracy41

pregokat:

Single because the father is a lying irresponsible sorry excuse for a human being. 

He is not involved in any way.

See reply to babymama above. Carry on.

tracy41

MeganSony:

I was and am still married. (Things are being sorted out). STBXH literally just said he needed independence and space and to be able to go out and do whatever he wanted. He packed his bags and moved out that same day. To the surprise of myself, our family's and friends. So it was a shocker. I'm 26. He seems to be sort of involved. Although I'm not sure what is motivating him right now. Hoping it is the right thing.

Creepy internet hug.  I didn't mention it in my reply to your post because you seemed sure it was over, but you should try couples counseling if you haven't already and he's willing.  My experience with my XH taught me that some men react to marriage and fatherhood in immature ways.  We are all here to be weir internet strangers backing you up!

Runaway22

tracy41:

Runaway22:

Also here to silently mock and judge  

Why is there no popcorn smiley? There should be popcorn.  Instead I give you beer and pizza.

OMG beer and pizza. Yessssss. We are now bestfriends.  

nikkilyn35

Single parent due to end of casual relationship. He lives in another state, so no visits and his family is not involved either. But he does pay CS, and sends birthday and christmas gifts.

MommyKristin88

The end of a casual relationship.

He sees her two weekends a month, but he does not contribute to raising her financially (unless you count the food she eats while she's with him).

I am 25 years old.

inthelost

25-30 and a single mom (to be) due to end of a casual relationship...he currently wants no involvement. I have left the door open if he ever decides to be in his daughter's life, but the ball is in his court...

mldsmile

>40, Single Mom by choice.  Hit 40 and had a relationship end.  Decided to pursue motherhood on my own and used a donor.  Although extremely difficult doing this on my own, it is the best decision I ever made!! 

bakingkitty

25-30. Single mom from a short but serious relationship. SD has nothing to do with baby since he cannot decide if he wants to be there or not. No child support, no contact.

itsaleedanielle

20-25. I will be 21 when baby is born.
It was the end of a serious relationship.
SO just seemed to lose interest in us..

1jazzynurse

5 weeks preggo with #1, will be 31 when baby is born

how do i word this: single mom with ex bf with whom i still had a casual relationship with. this baby will "ruin his life".  

at least i have excellent support from friends/family 

Gamera3000

36, pregnant with my first, and it was from a casual relationship with my long term friend. We were "practicing" in case we wanted to have kids. I didnt realize it was my fertile time. He left immediately after conception to be homeless and do drugs and play music. He wants to be involved now but I don't want his trash life hurting me or the baby so I limit his involvement.

eg214

Single mom due to end of relationship. We were married, divorced more than 2 years ago, got back together and BAM. Now we're dunzo because has PTSD and refuses to control it/admit it and makes my life absolute hell. He lives 1,000 miles away but is in and out in and out and by in I mean by email for about 2 days and then is out again for good. He is completely mentally unstable, wants to be a father, was/is excited about baby, but has no idea how to be a man and step up and do his part.

Oh and between 25-30 age group.

Monkeybird84

I fall in the 25-30 bracket.

Single due to the end of a serious relationship. Sperm donor is not in any way, shape, or form involved, but that's his loss.

19goingon30

19 years old. Just a lurker. 21w1d with my little blessing, Hadleigh. The father and I talk frequently but have not seen one another since I told him I was pregnant. We were just friends and drinking buds and one night one thing led to another and now here I am! Who knows if and how long he'll be around.

mamastich

25-30, husband left me for the gf he had on the side when lo was 6 weeks.. He'd been w her for almost 6 months.
Now I'm single on the other side of the county. He occasionally pays cs and has the occasional interest in skyping her. It's whatever.

SimpleJane

Single Mom due to divorce. Two kids ages 3 and 6. XH is very involved. I also have a live in BF. 25-30