We're Toast (Whiny Post)

HChad

Hello All,

I don't post often, mainly just a random vent.  But it appears that our attempt at a journey to a blended family has come to an end.

ExW filed to change jurisdiction in November of last year.  She filed several other motions at the same time.  She never served DH or our attorney with anything (she's Pro Se).  The motion to change venue was appropriate, neither party lives in the state any longer.  So, it was granted, the magistrate even noted in the order it was the wrong motion to file, so he just changed it to the right one.  Jurisdiction is being moved to the neighboring state where ExW and SD live.  But our attorney is not a member of the bar in GA (original case was in FL) and we can't afford another. We had to borrow money from his parents' for the first one.  We live in MN.

DH hasn't seen SD in over a year and a half.  ExW refuses visitation (DH signed away his rights to visitation thinking it was relocation paperwork.  I was there, what she claims he saw, signed and discussed never happened.  He signed he final page of a 12 page document without asking where the rest was.  Yup, that's his fault.  He was trying to keep things easy.)

So, now we have no lawyer.  And ExW is more than willing to harass DH with texts for marathons 24 hours long plus and SD won't talk to him.  No Father's Day card, no call, nothing.  And I just don't know what to do. I'm afraid of the harassment starting again.  We are talking about having a child, but I'm not sure if that's even on the table any more.  We need to look at what is, not what could be and I'm almost 37 with no children.

I guess this is just a whiny post. 

+just+j+

If it were me and that were my child, I'd move to Georgia and do all I could do to fight to see my child.  But I know that's easier said than done.

Hopeforthebest

So the FL jurisdiction is where he inadvertently signed away his rights and now that isn't the current jurisdiction correct?

If so, unfortunately only money and A LOT of it and A LOT of time is gonna fix this epic disaster.

It sucks but the only answer is getting a new attorney and fighting her with the wrath of a 1000 suns.

This is going to be not only financially exhaustive, but emotionally as well. 

I think this is going to come down to who wants it more.  If he wants it he will figure out a way.

I don't really know where that leaves you on the starting a family front unfortunately. Not to be mean, just realistic.

Good Luck to you both.

HChad

Thank you.  I know our situation is the epitomy of what no one wants.

If moving to GA or getting another job for each of us were an option, they would have already happened.  We both work ridiculous, changing hours every week.  ExW and SD live in a very rural area, the only realistic employment opportunities are for the people who work on the Army base.  

We found out a week ago what happened in court.  And we're trying to figure it out, what it means and how we go forward.  I know no one was being mean.  Reality is tough and we have to figure out the best way to navigate.  I'm afraid DH is ready to give up and just wait for SD to grow up.  And she'll hate him.  That's my fear. He grew us in a huge mess of family with divorced parents.  He was only 1 when his parents divorced and he's terrified of putting SD through what he went through.

HChad

Thanks, Wendi.  We're looking into everything we can.  Unfortunately, the case is in a county with nothing online that I can find, Lowndes.  I think the case is there, but in all honesty I can't say for sure.  I know that sounds crazy, but ExW won't serve anything.  She just claimed in FL that she had filed in GA and that was that.  And now the online docket in FL has been "Down for maintenance" for 3 weeks.  The only info we have now is the order from the magistrate stating FL keeps jurisdiction, but later it is stated GA has it...

I wish I had actually gone to law school, which I really wanted to do when I was younger but didn't want to get into that much debt.  Who knew it would come in handy now?  LOL, kinda.

A paper form has been filed with the county in GA requesting any info about DH.  And that all takes time.  So, now we wait until we see if anything has actually been filed.  Right now we need to get a handle on what is going on and than we can figure out how to go forward,  I'm trying to force DH to see the PA that is going on, talking about it and I got him a book to read to SEE what this does (he already knows, for christ's sake, his mom still can't say anything nice about his dad, she calls him "The our last name", and they've been divorced for over 35 years and he passed away 6 years ago), but he's terrified.  He won't talk about it, he's just not sleeping.  4-6 hours is a good night.  I'm a mess trying to figure out how to help him and how to not lose it myself. I'm ready to fight to the ends of the earth and back to make sure this little girl doesn't grow up in an environment where her Daddy is a bad person she doesn't know.  That's not fair to any child.

SD will hate him.  ExW has introduced her now DH as her new Dad, DH is Daddy.  She started that when SD was 6 and she took her illegally across the country.  Yup, DH screwed this up royally.  He finally told me the only reason he let ExW take her was he didn't think he could afford to keep SD and he didn't think ExW would last a month with her.  It was ExW's now DH who forced her to keep SD.