s/o platonic friendships

GrayGhost13

So, for everyone who said that friendships between married men and women were not a good idea, I have a hypothetical for you... What if one or both of the married spouses are bi? Does that mean that it would be socially unacceptable for them to have one-on-one lunches etc. with anyone of either sex? In other words, no close friends period?

Not picking a fight, just generally curious on where this train of thought leads. 

LaurelBee

Or what if they are in a gay committed relationship, can they only have friends with members of the opposite sex then?? 

LuckyDad

ItsAllGravy7:

I want all the sex with everyone. No friends for bi people. 

Everyone knows bi people literally want to bang everyone, all the time.

GrayGhost13

ItsAllGravy7:

Well....killed that one quick. Woops. LoL. 

LOL Naw, not at all. I think my question just blew some people's minds. haha! 

LuckyDad

A slightly more serious answer:

DW knows I wouldn't go down that road with a bi dude. To toot my own horn, if he did develop any sort of attraction, he wouldn't be the first penis-haver I had to politely fend off.

And if DW started having intimate meetings with a bisexual woman... Yeah, I'd be A-OK with that. I know this is kinda sexist and women can leave their husbands for other women. But I trust her, and yeah... it would be sweet.

GrayGhost13

LuckyDad:

A slightly more serious answer:

DW knows I wouldn't go down that road with a bi dude. To toot my own horn, if he did develop any sort of attraction, he wouldn't be the first penis-haver I had to politely fend off.

And if DW started having intimate meetings with a bisexual woman... Yeah, I'd be A-OK with that. I know this is kinda sexist and women can leave their husbands for other women. But I trust her, and yeah... it would be sweet.

Well, at least you're being honest. 

That actually makes me wonder though how many guys who say they'd be ok with another woman being in the picture theoretically would actually be ok with it in practice. I'm thinking the dynamics of managing an open relationship would be a lot more complicated than the, um, adult entertainment industry would have you believe.

futant462

LuckyDad:

A slightly more serious answer:

DW knows I wouldn't go down that road with a bi dude. To toot my own horn, if he did develop any sort of attraction, he wouldn't be the first penis-haver I had to politely fend off.

And if DW started having intimate meetings with a bisexual woman... Yeah, I'd be A-OK with that. I know this is kinda sexist and women can leave their husbands for other women. But I trust her, and yeah... it would be sweet.

I'm really not trying to act holier than thou when I ask this so please don't take it that way...

Lesbian or bi fantasies aside, would you really not consider it cheating if your wife had relations with another woman?  I don't think I would be ok with it, no matter the gender.

 ETA for not making sense.

GrayGhost13

LOL, poor LD is getting interrogated over here.

missyishere

futant462:

LuckyDad:

A slightly more serious answer:

DW knows I wouldn't go down that road with a bi dude. To toot my own horn, if he did develop any sort of attraction, he wouldn't be the first penis-haver I had to politely fend off.

And if DW started having intimate meetings with a bisexual woman... Yeah, I'd be A-OK with that. I know this is kinda sexist and women can leave their husbands for other women. But I trust her, and yeah... it would be sweet.

I'm really not trying to act holier than thou when I ask this so please don't take it that way...

Lesbian or bi fantasies aside, would you really not consider it cheating if your wife had relations with another woman?  I don't think I would be ok with it, no matter the gender.

 ETA for not making sense.

DH has expressed to me he wouldn't mind if I had fun with a lady, with or without him before.  I don't share well, and I would feel I was cheating even with a lady.  It would just make me feel awkward.  That being said, I do think women are beautiful, and I appreciate a lady's figure.

LuckyDad

speer06:

LuckyDad:

A slightly more serious answer:

DW knows I wouldn't go down that road with a bi dude. To toot my own horn, if he did develop any sort of attraction, he wouldn't be the first penis-haver I had to politely fend off.

And if DW started having intimate meetings with a bisexual woman... Yeah, I'd be A-OK with that. I know this is kinda sexist and women can leave their husbands for other women. But I trust her, and yeah... it would be sweet.

Would you be ok with it if you weren't invited to play? 

Would she tell me about it after?

The logistics could certainly be tricky. We barely have time for our date nights as it is. I'm not that excited by the idea of her leaving the house multiple nights a week for anything, be it scrapbooking, girls night out or... well, girls night "out"? So before DS this sort of thing would have been a lot easier.

 I seriously would be fine with women. Again, I know that's totally sexist of me. I'm also totally fine with her having dudes as friends, even if I know at least one of them wants to bone her. I trust her. 

kcisthebombdotcom

No skittles for fat people or poor people. No friends for bi people. Anything else I'm forgetting?

kcisthebombdotcom

ItsAllGravy7:

KC_13:

No skittles for fat people or poor people. No friends for bi people. Anything else I'm forgetting?

No pouches for toddlers. 

how could I forget!??! 

GrayGhost13

ItsAllGravy7:

Am I the only chick who thinks I'd be OK with DH and a dude? I mean if that's a side of him that he's burried deep and secretly wants to explore I feel like I don't want him dying with that regret. And it's just not something I can (or am really willing to) do for him. I mean I know most situations seem easy until you're actually in them but I would rather know that's what he's wanting than him spend his entire life hiding that. IDK.

If I was ok with an open relationship at all, I'd be ok for my H to date a dude if he wanted to.

I'm not sure an open relationship would work for us though. It's not that I'm morally opposed to it, but like speer said above, we don't really even have enough time and energy for each other, so I don't see us being able to meet each other's needs plus other partners. Honestly, it sounds kind of exhausting.

kcisthebombdotcom

kiraliz2:

ItsAllGravy7:

KC_13:

No skittles for fat people or poor people. No friends for bi people. Anything else I'm forgetting?

No pouches for toddlers. 

Also no floaties for kids over 5. 

no floaties for kids ever according to the sahm board. Lol.  

izzourclue

It certainly is an interesting wrinkle.  I honestly don't know how I would feel about it.  I think everyone should have close friends that aren't their spouse, but I wouldn't be comfortable if DH was close friends with a female so I don't really know how I would handle things in this case.  I guess I'd have to be more secure?  I own up to my insecurities.

izzourclue

LuckyDad:

ItsAllGravy7:

I want all the sex with everyone. No friends for bi people. 

Everyone knows bi people literally want to bang everyone, all the time.

That's just greedy 

izzourclue

missyishere:

futant462:

LuckyDad:

A slightly more serious answer:

DW knows I wouldn't go down that road with a bi dude. To toot my own horn, if he did develop any sort of attraction, he wouldn't be the first penis-haver I had to politely fend off.

And if DW started having intimate meetings with a bisexual woman... Yeah, I'd be A-OK with that. I know this is kinda sexist and women can leave their husbands for other women. But I trust her, and yeah... it would be sweet.

I'm really not trying to act holier than thou when I ask this so please don't take it that way...

Lesbian or bi fantasies aside, would you really not consider it cheating if your wife had relations with another woman?  I don't think I would be ok with it, no matter the gender.

 ETA for not making sense.

DH has expressed to me he wouldn't mind if I had fun with a lady, with or without him before.  I don't share well, and I would feel I was cheating even with a lady.  It would just make me feel awkward.  That being said, I do think women are beautiful, and I appreciate a lady's figure.

DH has expressed that he thinks it would still be cheating if I hooked up with a woman.  Hotness of the act aside, he's still not cool with sharing. 

izzourclue

GrayGhost13:

ItsAllGravy7:

Am I the only chick who thinks I'd be OK with DH and a dude? I mean if that's a side of him that he's burried deep and secretly wants to explore I feel like I don't want him dying with that regret. And it's just not something I can (or am really willing to) do for him. I mean I know most situations seem easy until you're actually in them but I would rather know that's what he's wanting than him spend his entire life hiding that. IDK.

If I was ok with an open relationship at all, I'd be ok for my H to date a dude if he wanted to.

I'm not sure an open relationship would work for us though. It's not that I'm morally opposed to it, but like speer said above, we don't really even have enough time and energy for each other, so I don't see us being able to meet each other's needs plus other partners. Honestly, it sounds kind of exhausting.

Yeah, I can't do an open relationship at all due to a paralyzing fear of STDs.  Also, I can't share him with a man or a woman.  I'm just not emotionally strong enough or secure enough. 

Runaway22

IME, not all guys are as open minded as LD, and "I wouldn't care if you hooked up with a chick" turns into "I wouldn't care as long as I can watch" which then turns into "I wouldn't care as long as I could join in." Not worth it.

I am like PP who said they'd still feel like a dirty cheater, even if they got the OK. I am also a jealous lover and wouldn't feel comfortable with the double standard.