When to start again?

fouadi

I am so sadden that I lost my boys, but I feel the need to start again. It took me 1 year and a half ivf to get the beautiful boys. I just feel at least if I am back talking to doctors and getting things prepare will help me heal. I may sound stupid but I would like to take a baby home. I have been on and off trying to have a baby for 10 years so I don't feel to stop at this loss. Its so fresh but being pregnant made me whole, without being pregnant or bringing a baby home I feel empty. What do you ladies think?

OSUWifey09

***siggy warning***

 

 

I remember feeling the need to start trying again immediately - I wanted a baby, and I wanted a baby NOW. We were forced to wait three months because of a shot I'd gotten at the hospital, but we tried after that window was up. We got a BFN that first cycle, and I was really upset about it. I had to pull away and force myself to take a break, get myself better mentally and physically, and come to the realization that I wanted a baby to add to my family - not replace Devon. 

I know the desire is great right now to be pregnant again, but I hope you give yourself the time to heal and grieve. Losing a child - or, in your case, your two boys - is one of the most devastating things that can ever happen to anyone. You need that time to focus on you and your healing [both mental and physical], and to be sure that you are truly ready to try again [and to deal with all of the things that come along with TTC], to add to your family instead of replace.

It is NOT stupid that you want to bring a baby home - that's a totally natural feeling. I really do hope that you get to bring a rainbow baby home soon, when you're ready. *hugs*

cawettig

When you feel that you are ready then I would say go for it. I think having a healthy pregnancy with brining home a baby will help a lot. It's only been two months for us and we are already trying.

Noethola

Get the ok from your doctor and then if you are ready, go for it. I know for us, we started trying again right away. We also had a vaginal birth and no medication that would stop us. Our doc basically cleared us while we were still in the hospital after delivering. 

However, while I wanted to be pregnant again right away, its nice having the time between pregnancies as well. I get to grieve Elsie and will be able to separate this pregnancy from our next one. 

 

fouadi

I know I will never replace these 2 boys, but I just need the fullness in my belly. Being pregnant was the happiest time of my life, I have an appointment in 2 weeks then a meeting with a high risk doctor then another meeting with my fertility specialist. I do want twins again..even knowing the risk. This time I just will work with a high risk a doctor and completely quit my job and go on bed rest. I hope I can get started as soon as my body heals.   

JessicaG220

I totally understand where you're coming from.  It's been two months for me and I go back and forth every day, and even every hour, about wanting to try again.  A huge part of me misses every little thing about being pregnant.  But I am still very much grieving our loss.  I struggle between wanting another baby and replacing my perfect first one.  I would suggest listening to the advice that your doctor gives.  I have read a lot about getting pregnant again, and a lot of what I've read recommends waiting a year between pregnancies to give your body enough time to heal and get back to "normal."  Obviously, waiting a year is incredibly difficult and it has to be your decision, but I personally want to give my next baby the best chance at life that I can, and waiting might be better in the long run.  Everyone comes from a different situation, though, and some pregnancies/deliveries are harder than others and some women need more time to recover than others.  I hope things get easier for you.  Hugs to you!

Heatherhah

Being pregnant after losing a babies is one of the hardest things I have ever been through. the most difficult thing was losing my baby girl but having my rainbow was not with out worry and some scary moments. I think if you are emotionally ready then go for it. I had my doctor okay me since I had a c section with my angel. I had to be cleared and was after 3 months I got pregnant 6 months after we lost her. I gave birth to my rainbow 14 months after we lost Sydney. It was very hard they looked so much alike it made me happy and broke my heart all in one split second.

Honestly I wouldn't have made it through all of that with out the help of my grief counselor she was amazing she helped me work out all of my grief and my fears.

Godo luck to all !!

Heather

shandorfml2

I felt the same way. I want a take home baby so badly. We tried as soon as we were cleared at our 6 week follow up. I am however glad I did not get pregnant before we burried her, because that was good closure/healing for me. As time goes on I am healing more and more and realizing if I got pregnant right away I wouldn;t have been able to grieve Ana fully. We're full-on trying now, and hopefully it won't take to long.

GL honey

fouadi

Well, I found comfort in calling my specialist, she knew what had happen and told me to come in at any time to talk. We will not be trying until 3 months but, keeping my body healthy, staying on vitamins, doing all the things I was doing to have a healthy pregnancy. I will try in 3 months and hopefully along with the new doctors that I found thru this tragedy I will finally get my rainbow:)