Back after a while

JCM285

Hi All,

 

It's been a month or so since I last posted and just wanted to say that it's been a tough road.  I miscarried in March and had a D&C on April 5th.  Since then, I've been so busy that I don't think I really had time to digest the whole situation completely.  However, things are winding down and I don't work in the summer and I am so scared that I am literally going to go crazy with all of my thoughts.  I had a mini-breakdown last night when I realized that my husband was upset about his Father's Day being ruined by our nonexistent child.  I turned the TV off and he asked why so I said "oh there are babies on".  He said, "oh you mean those things we can't produce".  I just lost it.  I realized that I had been holding back some of my emotions that have been brewing inside me so that I can work and carry on with normal life.  At the same time, I know that I didn't deserve to hear that comment (and believe me, I let him know it).  He admitted that he was upset about Father's Day (I wasn't even around that day because it was my friend's bridal shower) and apologized for the insensitive comment.  It wouldn't suck so much if we could TTC right away, but I had a molar pregnancy so we were advised to wait a year, which would be next April.  It's going to be a long 10 months... 

[Deleted User]

I am sorry for your loss. A miscarriage is such a heartbreaking experience, and it takes time to digest all of the emotions. With my first loss, I was a wreck immediately and slowly got better day after day. This time, it didn't hit me until after the D&C. All of a sudden, I became an emotional wreck and hated when my husband had to leave the house. Being home alone, just made me feel so lonely and empty like I was fighting a battle all by myself. Having been through this already, please know that things do get better with time. Please try to keep yourself busy this summer, otherwise you'll go insane. Perhaps now is the time to try a new hobby, get together with friends more often, workout, etc. I hope that the rest of this year goes by quickly for you, and that you get your take home baby when you're ready to TTC.