Dinnertime Dilemma (Kinda long!)

aeh72

I'm wondering if anyone has a similiar work schedule/dinner time dilemma that we seem to be having, and how you've dealt with it.

I work from home and pick DS up from daycare around 5:30 (home by 5:45-6:00). DH does not get home until close to 7.  DS is usually hungry for dinner shortly after 6 (he goes and stands by his highchair) so I've been making him a separate meal (sometimes which includes our leftovers from the night before) and then DH and I eat dinner after he gets home and I've had time to make it - usually around 8pm.  DS is still up at that time (he gets is final bottle and goes to bed between 8:30-9:00).  We've been putting him in his highchair and giving him a little snack but lately he's been wanting to eat more than just a rice cake or graham cracker and so we've been giving him bites of what we're eating - which is great on the one hand because it's exposing him to different foods but bad because I don't want him to get two dinners at night.  Or, maybe that's not bad if he's truly hungry, I don't know? It just seems like a bad habit to get into.

Part of thinks of just flip flopping our current schedule and give him the snack around 6 and have him eat dinner with us when we eat but it's so close to his bedtime, I'm not sure I want him eating dinner that late. Unfortunately, unless I've put something in the crockpot or have some type of leftovers, there's no way I can prepare dinner until DH gets home from work so he can take over with DS.  I think the earliest we would be able to eat dinner on a good night is 7:30.

Another idea I've had it giving him his final bottle (hopefully sippy cup soon) of milk while we're eating and hoping that satisifies him instead of wanting some of our dinner.

I may just be confusing myself with this whole situation but our nightime routine is one that I generally struggle with because I really would like us to be able to eat dinner as a family (one, for the family connection; two, so I'm not cooking twice in a night; and three, so DS learns to eat what we eat) but it just doesn't seem to work out that way most nights.

Sorry for the long post! But, if anyone has any ideas or examples to share, I'd greatly appreciate it! TIA!

 

azuremama

I would give DS his dinner at 6 and either let him snack or something while you eat.  I think you're overthinking it.  I wouldn't worry about him eating too much at this point.

At this age, unless your DH can get home earlier, I wouldn't think you can really have a family dinner.  IMO 7:30 is too late for a kiddo to eat.  There's plenty of time for family dinners as he gets older. 

You could also keep leftovers from your dinner to give DS the next night, which kind of solves your making two dinners and him learning to eat what you eat.

Temp994124375009771

You are overthinking this which I'm not judging at all because I overthink everything and drive myself crazy!

Give him dinner at 6 when he is hungry and let him have a "snack" aka part of your dinner when you eat. I don't think it will create a bad habit at all.

emberlee3

We make eating dinner as a family a big priority, although I know it doesn't work for everyone. 

With your schedule, I would prep dinner before picking up or stick with very simple meals that you can quickly put together while LO sits in a highchair with a snack and sippy of milk.  That way you could try to eat by 7:30. 

There is so much you can prep ahead of time to make the evening go more smoothly.  Meal planning also helps.  I cook simple meals during the week--stuff I can cook with both kids underfoot.  DD plays in the kitchen cabinets.  I just put her in the pack and play when I need to open the oven.  DS likes to help.

Sept07b2b

Can you make a casserole or meatloaf or baked ziti or something the night before and then just pop it in the oven before you pick your LO up from daycare?  I would think WFH would be a big advantage in this area because you can heat up the oven or even start baking something while you are still "at work."  I totally get that you can't make dinner while you are still working, but if it's all prepared, it will take like 1 minute to pop it in the oven.  

jf198400

We have the same situation.  I pick the kids up and we are home at 6pm.  Kids are hungry immediately.  They usually have a small snack (cheesestick, handful of goldfish crackers) while I quickly make their dinner, which is usually something I've cooked ahead of time and just have to warm up.  The 2 kids eat together, sometimes I eat with them.  DH is home anywhere between 6-8pm, so he eats whenever he gets home.  I will eat whenever I find time lol.

Sometimes the kids want to sit with us when DH and I eat, they might try a taste of our dinner, but that's not a big deal.  i wish we could have family dinners, but at least we do it on the weekend.

pitterpatter129

I feed the kid and myself around 5 when I get home from work (he needed entertainment at that age too.  He used to play playdough on the kitchen floor while I cooked.)  Then DH got the leftovers.  Baby went to bed before DH got home because he was tired and needed to be in bed, so DH got company while he ate - I just sat there with him.  --This is kind of in past tense because I'm home for the summer and out of that routine.   In my opinion, you can't really have family dinners when part of the family gets home at bedtime.  It is what it is.

 

 

 

 

 

XCrissCrossX

I would prep all my meals during the weekend- pop them in the oven after getting the kid from daycare- and have everything ready to eat as soon as DH walked in the door. I think family dinner is very important and if you don't start the habit now, it'll get harder to do.

That said, when DS eats dinner with us, it's usually phase 3 or 4 of his dinner. He's usually hungry before dinner is ready so while I'm prepping dinner I'll stick him in his high chair and give him some fruit. Then I'll give him whatever was ready to go first (some chicken on taco night, some pasta on spaghetti night, some veggies on meatloaf night). Then, when DH and I sit down, I'll give DS whatever he hasn't already had. 

WhitWed

Agree with some of the pp that keeping his dinner around 6 is best. We were in dinner limbo for a bit with DD where she ate early (5) and then went to bed at 6:30. DH and I ate after she went to bed so that she had time for a bath and playing/reading with us before her bedtime.  Now she is just shy of 2, her bedtime is now at 7:30, and we all eat at the same time which is 6!  So it might just be a natural progression of schedule changing as he gets older and eventually you will all meet up for dinner together. I would keep his dinner at 6, wait a few months, and see how your family evolves.

shakinros

Did I write this post? Our evenings sound EXACTLY the same. For me, DD can entertain herself well enough while I cook but she can't wait past 6 to eat. I know she won't die of starvation but I can't handle the fussing then wailing if she goes past 6 without dinner. She's gotta eat then. Snacks won't cut it.

For now I'm giving her food off our plates when we eat and she's basically getting second dinner. She's a hobbit. I hope the dinner times will converge some day but I can't seem to make it happen.

nosoup4u

You're over-thinking it. Give him a snack at 6 when he's hungry, and have him eat dinner with you.

aeh72

Thanks everyone for your responses! It's interesting because different things seem to work for different families but it's reassuring to see that we're not the only ones out there with this dilemma.  Lots to think about.  I think some tinkering with our dinner routine is in order and eventually I'm sure it will sort itself out! :-)

aeh72

shakinros:

Did I write this post? Our evenings sound EXACTLY the same. For me, DD can entertain herself well enough while I cook but she can't wait past 6 to eat. I know she won't die of starvation but I can't handle the fussing then wailing if she goes past 6 without dinner. She's gotta eat then. Snacks won't cut it. For now I'm giving her food off our plates when we eat and she's basically getting second dinner. She's a hobbit. I hope the dinner times will converge some day but I can't seem to make it happen.

 Ha ha! Love this!!

ASmallWonder

I agree with a lot of what the others are saying.  You're over thinking.  If you're willing to let him have one "snack" and one dinner, why does it matter if the "snack" is made up of dinner items?  He's eating either way so I think you're giving him too much credit that he'll realize he's getting two dinners.  Even if he did, it's nbd.  I know it's not easy but you'd really benefit from figuring out how to make dinner solo.  There are lots of people who don't have the luxury of waiting for their SO (deployments, SO works second shift, single parents, etc.)  My husband often gets home really late so I have no choice but to cook ahead or cook with my kid underfoot, doing my best to find something to keep him busy.

groovygrl

I had dreams of family dinners when they were young but like you, MH got home a lot later and our kids actually went to bed at 630 until about age 2 so I would feed them at like 500-530 and when they were still on bottles we gave them one right at bedtime, and then I'd cook dinner for MH & I after they went to bed (or sometimes while he was bathing/doing bedtime I'd cook so we could eat after. But as they got older & bedtime creeped later I had to change the plan. at that point they were more ready to eat a lot of the same foods as us so if I was making something we all would/could eat, I would cook it right when we got home and feed them and then MH & I would eat when he got home, or if he got home early enough we all eat together, but the bottle thing obviously hasnt been an issue in a long time (they're 4).  There was a time from 2-3ish that I did a lot of making them a separate meal b/c they were so picky and it was just more convenient sometimes.

GL and don't stress it too much, honestly.  If you're focusing on the 'family dinner' thing it is not a big deal really til they're older, in my opinion, but the focus on avoiding making separate meals is important.

laurakaz13

DD goes to sleep at 7-7:15 every night so that would not work for us. She is absolutely hungry 6 so that is when I feed her.  My DH works until 6:30 or later every night as well, but I think at this point sleep in more important than family dinners during the week.  On weekends we have family dinners. 

So, I also think you should feed your LO at 6 and just give him a snack while you two eat.  He's only 14 months old.  There is plenty of time for family dinners when he is older.

michaelaskedlauren

Dont overthink it too much like PP said. Like your LO DS goes to sleep on the later side (830/9), so he always eats dinner with us. Like others, family dinner is very important to us.

I normally get home around 6 (DS is already home with the nanny). Ill play with him/hang out until about 630/7 then Ill start cooking dinner. Meals take 30-45 mins, most of which is just time in the oven, so we can still play. If he is hungry he gets a snack, if he isnt, then he doesnt. I try and get dinner on the table by 730, but sometimes it is later. I try not to stress about it.

Looks like all you really need to do is just swap what times your LO gets a snack vs dinner and youll be set! (obviously it isnt always that easy, but good luck!).