Completely Frustrated

anmile

I have two boys, 1 and 2 1/2. I think they are conspiring to press my buttons and I sometimes feel like have reached a breaking point. Daytime is fine, but dinner is where I seem to have a short fuse.  DS 1 refuses to eat, will not listen to me, won't sit in his seat, talks back at me. I try to talk to him sternly.  I don't yell or hit, but I have all this frustration pent up and I start to feel angry at my son.  When dinner is done and we move on to getting ready for bed, everything is fine. 

 But I absolutely hate feeling extremely frustrated.  I feel like there has to be a better way for DS1 to eat dinner without getting short and grumpy.  I know he is a toddler, and that it's just a phase. Aside from dinner, he's generally a very good, happy little boy.

 How do you handle frustrating moments with your child(ren).  I need to change up dinner routine.  Thanks in advance.

 

 

bdillon

My son was doing the same thing. We tried having dinner differently.. Sitting outside, packing up a picnic, going out. It seems to have helped the same ole dinner routine- I wish you luck, that can be so frustrating. Especially after a long day:)

blu-eyedwife

Kids are little empaths.  They feel everything we feel, but aren't smart enough to be able to figure out why or what it means (heck, not all adults can do it either!)

Meal time is stressful for you.  That means it's stressful for him too.  He can feel your frustration, anxiety, stress, but he can't say "oh hai!  I'm causing this!"  Instead he associates that negative energy (gosh I sound like such a hippie when I read that) with mealtimes, and that only makes the situation worse for both of you.

The best thing I can recommend, and it's obviously easier said than done, is to make mealtimes as stress free as possible.  He doesn't want to eat his dinner?  That's fine.  Whatever.  No big deal.  Dinner's over for him.  (And I am sure this is much harder to do with 2 children than it is with one, which is what I deal with.)  He will not die of starvation from missing a dinner or two (I know that's usually my son's smallest meal of the day anyway - he seems to eat more during the day)  When dinner stops being a battle of wills, it will be more pleasant for you, and hopefully more pleasant for him, which will result in him being a better dinner mate!

anmile

blu-eyedwife:

Meal time is stressful for you.  That means it's stressful for him too.  He can feel your frustration, anxiety, stress, but he can't say "oh hai!  I'm causing this!"  Instead he associates that negative energy (gosh I sound like such a hippie when I read that) with mealtimes, and that only makes the situation worse for both of you.

 

Thanks for this tip. It puts a new perspective on dinner for me.  Never thought about how my stressing can cause him to stress.