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Working Moms
vic8504
member
Having Trouble Working Full Time....
vic8504
member
in Working Moms
Sorry a bit long....
I have been back to work now for 6 months. At first it wasn't too bad, it was nice having adult interactions again, it was winter, our busy season (I'm a tax accountant) and DD was still young enough she just laid there.
The last 2 months at work has been terrible, I don't hate the work that I do, though someone left and I took on a new roll and learning new things right now is a little stressful. I just dread going in every day and not being able to spend more time with DD now that the weather is nice and DD is more interactive. I leave in the morning before she is awake and normally don't get home until 5pm. We eat dinner and its bed time at 7:30... I get 2.5hrs a day with my daughter, if she doesn't nap.
On top of that, MIL is always nagging us about letting her babysit DD. Currently my mom babysits full time. I do not trust MIL and she has some major health issues that she does not take care of properly. DH does not stand up to her and her asking about babysitting is really the only thing we argue about.
If I stayed at home MIL wouldn't be an issue and I could spend the day with my daughter and feel as if I am actually raising her instead of my mom and me just filling in on the weekends. I really don't think DH and I could keep our life style with just his income, even if we cut some things it would be tight.
Does anyone else feel this way? If so how do you deal with it and what keeps you motivated to go into work every day?
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Re: Having Trouble Working Full Time....
I personally love to work but if you truley feel that way maybe you should sit down look at your budget and see what you can change (cable, insurance, food bill, etc) and maybe set a goal of savings. So in 6 months you could save a boat load and have a goal date? That way it is not rushing it but you will have a ultimate goal and feel better about it. Could you work part time, make cuts or maybe watch a few other kids while at home for cash?
Tons of working mothers are looking for responsible childcare.
If that is not possible then you have to start realizing that qaulity is better than quantity. I love to work and contribute, the accolades I get, using my degree and realize that I spend the time I do have with LO (evenings, and weekends) with fun stuff. I grew up in a family with a working mother and never felt negected, not loved and me and my three sisters all grew up, went to college, are super close and have great lives. Because I grew up in it I know it not awful so I do not feel guilty about it.
Good luck on whatever you choose
I felt like this when I returned from maternity leave. I barely saw LO and it was stressful maintaining the house and going to work. I ended up quitting my full time job and now do freelancing part time from home. It was the best and toughest decision I think I've ever made. If you can't afford to quit maybe you can cut back your hours to part time or adjust your schedule to a compressed workweek so you can have an entire weekday with LO? GL!
I can empathize. My daughter is just over a year and, due to financial reasons, I work a full time AND a part time job. I have a lot of guilt about being away from her so much but I don't have a choice right now. I'm looking at getting a better paying full time job so I can drop my private practice for now.
I find that some days are harder for me than others. I pray that I could find a feasible way of being a SAHM. What works for me is holding and cuddling her as much as she will let me when I am home with her.
Can you cut back your hours to part-time?
I am a physician. Working "full-time" generally means 60-80 hrs/week. When it was just DS, I cut back to 80%, and after DD came along, I cut it down to 60%. My group is short-staffed right now, so I am back up to 100% and it is driving me bonkers. There is no way I would maintain my sanity if this were permanent.
Im in the same position, make a little more $ than DH so SAH would be a big financial hit.
And I go through periods of loving my job and not loving it so much.
Have a long commute, so yeah, even with a pretty late bedtime for LO, I still only see him 2 hours a day. And during those 2 hours I'm also, doing dishes, making dinner, whatever.
But what helps me when I'm feeling stuck is remembering that working is a choice. If I were willing to totally change our lifestyle, and give up vacations and savings cushions that makes me comfortable--plus a bunch of other major budget cuts, I could SAH. But that's just too much for me to give up.
But knowing that it's my choice and I have control over it makes me feel better.
I went down to part-time hours and I love it. It was great for us. I work mostly just the mornings, but I do work one day all day (Tuesdays). My family could afford it and it gave me the balance that I needed. That might be an option for you if SAHM isn't financially feasible.
I also use family for daycare, so I don't have to pay full-time rates just to keep a part-time spot. I still pay them quite well, but not a full-time rate.
Yup. I do feel like this from time to time but we really can't afford for me not to work so I don't really have much of a choice. Honestly, though I do like my job and I think I will feel better once DD is older and in school. I try to look at the positives instead of wishing I could stay at home.
- My job is very fulfilling. I am a teacher and I feel like I am making a difference.
- Since I am a teacher, I get home early and have summers off and breaks throughout the year. When DD goes to school, I'll have the same schedule as her.
- I have my mom watching DD who is wonderful with her.
I also think about my own mom who worked fulltime (she was a teacher too actually) and growing up I always remember her being there for us even though she worked. My mom worked her butt off at her job but was always there to help us with homework and always cooked a nice meal every night, etc. I never once felt like she didn't raise me. Thinking of this and how hard my mom worked for her family make me proud to be a working mom.
Feel the same way. My DD goes to daycare in the building where I work, so her day is just as long as mine. We leave at 8 and are luck if we are home by 6:15 pm. SHe is exhausted from daycare and needs to be in bed no later than 7:30. My chosen profession is very demanding and stressful (litigation attorney) and there is absolutely no flexible hrs/telecommute, etc. I was a work machine before I had a child, but now I realize there is more to life than working it away. I have been thinking about going back to school to be a teacher, but I have too many student loans already, and I'm too darn old. We live in a super high cost of living area so I don't really have an option on staying home. We are still trying to brainstorm a better way. I would love to work part-time, but is is not an option where I work. Vent over!
I am glad I am not the only one frustrated with the daily grind of being a working mom.
I am in exactly the same boat.. Just haven't been back as long.
I do think that if the job were one I liked better, things wouldn't be nearly as difficult. The major upside of my job though is the flexibility.. They have been okay with me coming in at 6:30 and leaving at 3:30, so that adds an extra couple of hours to the day that we can spend together. Do you have any leeway to do something like that?
For me its been one month back to work. I also feel the same way right now. I only get to spend about 2.5hrs with her a day by the time I get home from picking her up at daycare. It helps to know there are others who are feeling the same way. I just don't feel like I am giving my best to everyone that needs me ie work, husband, and baby.